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Today, I've let temptation get the best of me.

I've been on the low carb, almost no sugar bandwagon for quite some time now due to the diabetes.  I purposely jumped off face first today. 

I went to the store.

I strolled down the candy aisle.

I went directly to the Twizzlers.

I plunked my money down for them.

I brought them home and ate some.

Then I ate some more.

The only thing that stopped me was that I was starting to feel sick.  I'm sure that's a blood sugar thing.  I didn't eat the whole bag, but I thought I might.  Maybe my body said, "WTF are you doing?"  I thought for a bit that I might puke.

With the diabetes, I shouldn't have any licorice at all.  I felt so willfully defiant today though.  So, I made the Twizzler run.  Maybe there is a Betty Ford wing for me.  Now, I should think about going to sleep off this Twizzler hangover.

It seems I took some anger out on myself by eating something bad for me.  Stupid, I know.

Tomorrow is another day.

CW


My latest post on my diabetic blog is:

FDA Peanut Butter Recall





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Comments

  • fragglesrock said on Jan 18, 2009....

     ***fraggles standing up****   i also am addicted to the inviting strawberry twists... :)

  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jan 18, 2009....

    ... yes, indeed tomorrow is another day, dear CDub... (((warmest embrace)))

    I am glad you are allowing yourself some slack (I hope you will be alright !!!) and not beating yourself on top of it...

     ... I know how hard it is to be in a difficult situation and trying your very best to do what is right, to be fair to everyone and letting go of dreams on top of it all.. so many stressors to deal with... I admire how far you have come already after all that you have gone through...

    ...I wish so very wish for your happiness CW...I read not only to know how you are but await the day when your goal and dreams are realised because I believe in you, and I want to be there to witness you triumph because you deserve it...

    ... and oh, I might get myself this soon too because of the things I am dealing with...it is like "hitting"  two birds with one stone... i will get my exercise and destress myself  from issues and people causing my stress...will just paste an image or the name of what or who is stressing me, and whamooo... ;) ..hopefully i will be relieved! want the black or the brown one, CDub?

    Photobucket

  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 18, 2009....
    fraggles,
    Amen, Sister Friend!

    paper,
    Thank you.  I'll take the brown one.  It reminds me of chocolate.

    CW


  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jan 18, 2009....

    *giggle*

    :D they are really nice, huh... i might even dress it up ;)!

    paper ~
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 18, 2009....
    paper,
    I think I might like to put a cowboy hat on mine and knock the ever loving thing off. :-)

    CW
  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jan 18, 2009....

    LOL!!!

    Mine would be sporting a stern & stubbornGerman bureaucratic look, CDub! I will see if I could manage it with an edding pen...

    paper ~

    hope you are feeling better? i googled an image of twizzler (never saw them in Germany, i have to ask piet if they have it here in the netherlands), they were really very irresistable looking...
  • MissMimi said on Jan 18, 2009....
    I'd hold the bag for you so can get a really good punch in. Only problem is, knowing how angry you are, the shock wave from the punch might send me sailing backward. LOL Of course, there is a certain humor in that... :D
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 18, 2009....
    Paper,
    Twizzlers are quite tasty and are something I shouldn't be eating.  You and I  both might feel better after some punching on the punching bags.  :-)

    Mimi,
    We could strap you to the punching bag.  Then if you lose your footing, you could just swing with it when I give it a great big round house right.  I'll even share it.  I'll bet you have a hat you would like to rockem' sockem'.  :-)

    I can hear the Rocky music starting to play.

    CW

  • woman said on Jan 18, 2009....
    CW. As you know, I have been doing battle with diabetes for decades. I go in phases. Tight control. Denial. Semi control. Tight control again and periods when I just scream WTF and demonstate my anger over the whole thing by knowingly, purposefully, being self destructive, eating pretty much anything I desire and laying around on my can. These periods seldom last for just a day or two. They might go on for a week or a month. In the past, sometimes longer. I hope you don't go there. Usually feeling badly is the only thing that pulls me out of that. This battle is not for the weak. (Hope the twizzlers were good!)
  • CayenneMan said on Jan 18, 2009....
        IRockem' sockem' ?  I remember when I was a kid I had Rockem' Sockem' robots. You may not know what I'm talking about  but they were a lot of fun for about ten minute ;0)
         I'll be right back . . . I didn't know what a Twizzler was. I had to look it up.
    Now see what you did ?  Now I've got to go out and get some Twizzlers :0) they sound mighty fine. You shouldn't fool around with candy, it's not woth the trade off. I promise one day I will check out you're diabetic blog. Have a great night CreativeWoman.
  • GrapeKoolaid said on Jan 19, 2009....
    Being bad is good for you sometimes.  ;)

    I smiled reading this post CeeDub.  For some reason, I was happy for you for doing something you shouldn't have done. 

    [chuckles at "Twizzler hangover"]

    In the grand scheme of things, do you consider this a small victory or a small setback? 
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 19, 2009....
    woman,
    I'm too guilt laden to let my fall off of the wagon last for too long.  I just have to look down at my left foot for a stark reminder as to what can happen if I don't keep the beast under control.  The Twizzlers did taste good, but the carb count....yikes.

    CM,
    I do remember the Rockem' Sockem' Robots.  :-)   Twizzlers have always been a favorite.  As a kid, I used to bite the ends off and use them as a straw in a nice cold Pepsi.  But you are right, I should swear them off for good.  That would take some awesome willpower.

    Grape,
    Diabetes is a law of averages.  I knew that one day of higher blood sugar readings was not going to send me into a tailspin.  I can maintain my overall health by having more "good" days than "bad" blood sugar wise.  I was calucalted and devious as I strode down the candy aisle.  I need to find other ways to be defiant than with food.  You know?

    So, in reality it was a moment of weakness spurred on by a little self-loathing.  It wasn't really a victory.

    CW
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    I don't know how you do it.  You're so disciplined with your diet.  (all health considerations aside)  I'd have finished the twizzlers before I arrived home.
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 19, 2009....
    uniquely,
    I finished them after lunch today.  I've vowed that now that they are out of the house, I won't bring anymore in for a long time.  I don't trust myself to be sensible with them.  I guess the disciple comes from having to eat to live these days.

    CW
  • bluegum said on Jan 19, 2009....
    so you dipped your toe dont beat yourself up,you know that you have to do this on occasions.blue.
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 19, 2009....
    blue,
    You are probably right.  Today is another day.

    CW

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