Hello! I use to be on SC as another user name, but feel bad that it's been so long, so now here I am, asking for your help again.
I'm ridiculously in love with a man I'm going to marry in March. He is simply amazing. And I'm not saying that as a blind fool in love. I'm saying it because it is truth. He is loving, kind, sweet, fun, wonderful in the sack. He treats me like a goddess in every possible way.
We are that couple that pisses everyone off cause no one can actually be that happy, though we are. In 98% of ways, we are a beautiful match. I've never felt more loved each and every moment of my life.
Here's the issue though, and yes, it's a bit big. He is either on the edge of alcoholism or has just climbed over it. I've discussed it with him, he knows he drinks too much, and yet, he still does so. It's not that he's a prick when he's drunk (though he was for the first time slightly prickish Friday night when trashed), but he's one of those "sad about the world, how can I be happy when the world is so miserable?" kind of drunks. It drives me bonkers.
He's had 2 DUIs in 6 years, been through all the classes, and yet doesn't think his drinking is a "problem".
I've told him that the biggest problem is that eventually he'll get sick of me occasionally bringing up his drinking, so he'll start hiding it, then he'll resent me and get in a pattern of lying to me so he can drink behind my back, that will lead to an unhealthy relationship. He'll starting thinking of me as his mom and a nag and I'll start feeling like his mom and a nag. I can't be his wife/lover/friend and mom all at the same time. We'll both end up resenting each other and that'll be the road to doom for the relationship; just for a damn liquid refreshment.
I'm not sure what to do anymore or how to handle this. My dad was a mean as spit drunk, my ex-husband was a drunk (though he gave up the booze and was much better off for it), so I know what it's like and what will eventually happen.
Is anyone out there a recovered/recovering alcoholic who can offer me words of wisdom on what might work? Or anyone who has lived with an alcoholic and has helped them to recover?
Please help...I'm lost and don't know what to do.
