I'm going to post my 5 things I enjoyed today.  I know, three posts in a matter of minutes, holy butt fuck Batman!  Well, I'm pissed right now, my dad is being an ass, he will not turn his music off, or down, so that means I can't possibly fall asleep.  So I sit in my den, listening to MY music, Godsmack of course, trying to remain calm.  I'm tired, I want badly to be in bed.  It's almost 2am.  He'll want to be up raring to go early just because he's an asshole and I'll have had no sleep.  Great day I'm going to have tomorrow, huh?

1. An easy day at work today.
2. Not spending any money, for today anyhow.
3. Listening to my Godsmack CDs.
4. Watching my animals, especially when I scared the hell out of all three of them a the same time.
5. Nicotine ... cigarettes ... taking that long drag after being pissed off.  

Sorry to all of you past smokers, or smokers trying to quit.  I'm sure hearing that sucked a little, but it's the way I feel right now.

I've already explained the real high points of the day in the other two posts, I just felt it was important that I should go through the process of finding my 5 things.  I'm glad that I did not choose today to be the day I upped it to 10.  I don't think I could have done it.  5 was hard to come up with for today.

I have to admit right now I utter HATE Pink Floyd.  If my father wasn't listening to it, I wouldn't give a shit.  In fact, on my own terms, at my own volume, I like Pink Floyd.  My dad listens to it assaninely loud.  Loud enough, in fact, that the neighbors usually get to listen to it as well.  He can sit and listen to ALL of his music this loud for HOURS.  It's no wonder he can't hear half of what anybody is saying.  He is a rude, obnoxious mother fucker about it too.  He will not turn it down if you walk out in the room and need to talk to him.  He expects you to either talk over it or just to go away and not bother him ... keeping in mind that he'll sit there for HOURS this way, so if something important comes up you're fucked.

Further, if I were to go out and ask him to turn it down so I could get some sleep he would.  Then after about thirty seconds he'd turn it right back up.  He'd follow with this pattern for as many times as I choose to go out and repeatedly ask him to knock it off, laughing harder each time.  This usually drives me to the point that I'm frustrated enough to cry, become increasingly more and more pissed and most times, whether I have to work or not the next day, I generally get in my car and leave for an hour or longer.  This usually results in him suddenly deciding he's worried about me ... to which I end up telling him that I do not intend on coming home if he doesn't intend on either shutting the radio off or turning it down and leaving it down.

Another part of this, my husband has issues with his ears.  He cannot listen to very loud things.  They make his ears start ringing and each time it makes him a little more deaf.  It also causes dizziness and nausea.  Does that matter to my dad?  No.  If my husband has to go out to use the restroom, what does my dad do?  Turn it down?  Hell no, he turns it up further even.  I've pretty much surmised that this is punishment for DARING to come out and interrupt him and break him of his coma like state he was trying to get into.

I hate alcoholics, I no longer feel sorry for them.  If you're an alcoholic you're not retarded, you KNOW what you're doing to yourself.  You KNOW that it's making everybody else miserable.  You do not mean a single one of those apologies that you emotionally proclaim after a night of truly asshole behavior.  If you did, you'd do something to change it instead of repeatedly day after day having to apologize for the same shit.  Further, when you reach that point that you stop apologizing and think everybody else is inconsiderate of you, well, you're a lost cause and you're better off dead.  Do everybody a favor and either straighten the fuck up, or just drink yourself to death already and put us all out of our misery.

That said, I'd like to add as an afterthought ... that's directed solely at my dad.  So any other alcoholics out there that choose to take exception to this, well, not meant for you so back the fuck off me, I'm not in the mood, nor will I be in the future.  My blog, I can say what the hell I want.  It's anonymous, I don't know you.  If you want to get your panties in a bunch, that's your problem for wanting to create that kind of drama in your own life.  I've already stated that it was directed at my dad, not YOU, so buzz off.

I hate that my dad can manage to get me into such a shitty mood.  I wish I could just fly away to a different place, away from everybody and everything here.  I'd even leave the animals if it meant I'd get to be where I WANT to be.  I'll never get there though.  Which sucks.  I can only live in my day dreamy states for so long.  Ugh, I'm done here, I'm not calming down effectively.  I need to stop talking about it.

Time to just listen to my music and try to calm down.  I think he might have turned his music off ... or it got to a quiet point ... or he's changing CDs.  I hate having to wonder.  I'm o utta here.