• diabolicdame said on Jan 15, 2009....

  Oh Fallyn.. I'm so sorry!! I don't know what I can say to make you feel better.. please eat some chocolate or some ice cream or some other feel good food! Life really really is unfair sometimes.. but I'm hoping you'll find you silvr lining soon.((((((((hug)))))))))

• Fallyn said on Jan 15, 2009....

  oh diabolic...i'm trying so hard not to fall into that either.
  i've got about 150 lbs to lose...yes, you read that right......so...feel good food is about the worst i could do right now.
  
  actually, i don't feel much like eating either.
  

• diabolicdame said on Jan 15, 2009....

  Oh shit.. sorry.. ok no food.. and you'e even lost your appetite!! Run it off then!! Be so tired that you forget about your heart!! Actually thats really bad advice.. you have to feel before you feel better. I'm sending you lots of good thoughts!!

• GrapeKoolaid said on Jan 15, 2009....

  Fallyn:  I've read your post with much thought. 
  
  It appears to me that you are looking at the glass being half empty.  I know all about the great yearning.  So does diabolicdame.  There are a few of us here that are in a long-distance relationship, you know? 
  
  You say in your post that you are "convinced without a doubt" that he loves you. 
  
  You are a fortunate few in this regard.  To be loved is indeed a rare thing.  An exclusive club that only the few, truly fortunate belong to.  So many people in this world live their whole entire lives never knowing what it's like to truly love someone, what it's like to be loved. 
  
  What's several more years in the grand scheme of things?  When there's something as important as love at stake?  Would you not wait a hundred years more? 
  
  I certainly would.  Without a doubt. 
  
  Chin up, lady.  It's not as bad as all that. 
  

• cuppajava said on Jan 15, 2009....

  Hi Fallyn - I know our circumstances may be a little different - but i have been where you are,and 3 years later I still live on my own and still come home to the same 4walls every day - but i have learned to deal with it.
  My mail box is always open if you want to talk
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 15, 2009....

  awwww, diabolic. i love you for that. thankyou.
  
  grape.....i'm trying hard not to believe in epic-ness.......is that a word?
  i have the faith that this is one of those one in a million.....it was from the first time we talked.......the air was charged with electricity from the first sentance.
  
  if the long distance was how it was in the beginning....i wouldn't be so upset...but it's not......we talk every day....but about nothing. ......and only for a few minutes......i know he's there......and wants to be with me.......i can feel it..... ...the long conversations we do eventually have let me know that much........he's one that locks it all inside and broods......he thinks he'll push me away if he lets me know what he's feeling about being so far apart.......so we don't get all lovey and mushy.......cause it's too hard for him......so i really really miss that.....if there was that....being apart wouldn't be so bad. but there isn't.
  and i get insecure.........even though i KNOW.
  
  but the thing is......even though i KNOW he loves me....he's too jaded to believe it's possible.....so he tries to push it away.
  and i'm naive enough....and enough of a dreamer and a believer in epic love stories.....that i would wait a hundred years......it's just hard when the other person believes it's hopeless.
  it's hard to keep that flame going on only one side.
  not that he doesn't love me and want to be with me.....he just believes it's hopeless.
  
  cuppa......*nod* lonely is hard isn't it. *hugs*
  
  
  

• Hegemone said on Jan 15, 2009....

  Fallyn, I wish there was something I could say to cheer you up.  I hope that at this point you're not in such low spirits anymore.  I completely get ya on feel good food being the worst you could do ... I too am on my journey to losing 151 lbs.  Eh, if ya do feel the need to much, fruits n veggies are amazingly satisfying, even if you think they won't be.  It hurts, but I think the best thing you can do is talk about it, this way you're not bottling it all up to yourself.  So whatever outlet(s) you have, use them, so you're not keeping this ALL on yourself.  Take care, ((((((hugs))))))

• Fallyn said on Jan 15, 2009....

  hege.....thankyou so much....i really appreciate the support. *hugs*

• GrapeKoolaid said on Jan 16, 2009....

  Fallyn:  "even though i KNOW he loves me....he's too jaded to believe it's possible.....so he tries to push it away."
  
  I'm having a hard time understanding what this means.  I'm probably oversimplifying things a bit, but there is an epigram by Antiphanes, that goes, "Two things a man cannot hide:  That he is drunk, and that he is in love".  I only know bits and pieces of your story, so I obviously don't have a clear point of reference.  Does that mean that he is reluctant to show it?  Or does it mean that you are trying to force it out of him? (I hope not)  Could you explain the situation a little more to me?
  
  If you have written a post on it already, you could direct it to me, or you could just tell me to mind my own business and shut up.  :X
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 16, 2009....

  *grin* i don't often tell people to shut up and mind their own business....especially when i've provided a blog for people to comment on....which doesn't lend itself well to telling people to shut up and mind their own business......
  
  wait...did that make any sense?
  
  things are complicated.... part of it has to do with the fact that i've hurt him in the past.
  and part of it has to do with his own past.
  

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