I've known this guy 'P' since I was barely five, he barely four. My grandmother was walking me home from kindergarten and he was playing with a Tonka truck in his driveway. I stopped to play and we've played together ever since.
But 'P' hasn't had much luck in his life. In school, both high school and junior high, he slept through most of his classes. I think he quit in 11th grade. They found later that he had a thyroid problem.
He worked around town at several jobs, got married twice and went through two divorces. After that, he went into depression and became an alcoholic. Over the years, he beat the alcoholism but stayed in depression for a long time. He's been on social security for many years and always will. He's been alone for about thirty years now, living in run down apartments like the duplex he lives in now. He considers himself a complete failure.
But there's another side to 'P'.
He is a superb automobile mechanic.
A car painter and sign painter.
Plumber
Electrician, took all the courses, but got no license.
Carpenter, almost all types of construction.
Heating & air conditioning.
Miner, heavy equipment.
Seamstress, owned two shoe repair shops, and he hand made boots.
He built saddles for jockeys.
He got into archery and didn't like the bowstrings you could buy so he made his own. He ended up making bowstrings for state champions.
He taught me how reload cartridges for rifles.
He's a knife maker and builds beautiful bowls on his wood lathe.
He builds motorized bicycles and owns three. He hasn't driven for over twenty years due to the alcoholism.
I've left out much. He can repair anything.
Oh, he played three musical instruments and has encyclopedic knowledge of music.
He's as good a friend as anyone could have. I believe most people in my hometown know him. They bring projects to him constantly. Mostly welding, no one does it better. Even welders bring him welding and they do favors in return.
He's one of the most completely moral people I have ever known, always thinks of others first. Twenty six years ago upon marrying my wife and telling her of his life, she was somewhat leery about meeting him. Now, she has nothing but the greatest respect. She immediately saw in him what his friends see and is amazed how he can turn a run down apartment into a very clean and livable place with a nicely kept yard.
Naturally I think of him often, his friendship, his almost unending talents, and the willingness to help with anything at any time. I can only hope I give a part in return.
What bothers me most is how he sees himself. He talks of often of his utter failure, of his worthlessness. Neither I or my wife or his wonderful daughter or his friends can make him see the good and talented side.
Success is such a fleeting and ambiguous word. It comes in many colors and flavors. When people tell me of 'successful' people, I look at them and compare them to 'P'. I look at their soul, their morality, their talent, their number of real friends and say, really, who is most successful?
Just once, before either he or I die, I'd like for him to realize he's worth something. To realize what he means to so many people. To realize he truly was successful.
beyondtheveil posted on Jan 10, 2009
| views: 253
Comments
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MissMimi said on Jan 10, 2009....
Oh boy, beyond. No fair making me cry this early in the morning. I identify with P more than I can say. Not about the alcoholism, but the depression. About the feeling of worthlessness and failure. The sad thing is, no matter how many people tell him he's a success and a worthy person, my thought is, he will never believe it. He has to come to the realization himself. I truly hope that happens.
Thank you for writing this. It tells me once again what a caring compassionate man you are.
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Me-Myself&I said on Jan 10, 2009....
you are a great friend, full of love you are!some people measures their worth by what they have in the means of fancy homes, shoes.....your friend who has overcome so much and still stands with pride....in yard, home .....trying everyday, bless his heart.if half the folks in this world had his character, it would be a better world!this is a nice post. i do like reading you!have a good day! take care ~see ya -
queenparanoia said on Jan 10, 2009....
it's nice that you can see something in him even he himself cannot see... youre a good friend beyond... ;-) -
diabolicdame said on Jan 10, 2009....
This was the best read I've had in a long time.. and so much lesson in it for me at a point when I'm making decisions about which directions to pursure in life so I can be 'successful'.. people like your frind 'P' are so rare and special.. even if he doesnt know what he's worth, he still touches the lives of so many people.. and each one of them I'm sure sees in him everything that you do. I really hope you can bring him to see himself with your eyes.. maybe have him read this post or part of it in some way.. thanks for sharing btv!! -
fearing said on Jan 10, 2009....
I don't even know him and I am proud of him too.
I hope you show him this post. Sounds like he doesn't know what he means to others.
Thanks for sharing your friend with us.
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Lucytorial said on Jan 10, 2009....
That Beyond seems like the most worthy of chellenges to have in life. This man seems as though he is unaware of his own self in the world that he changes for good, for no other reason than he can do what he does. Most admirable and I hope you are successfull in pulling the veil from his eyes so that he can see his own heart. -
mobil said on Jan 10, 2009....
Let him read this -
silver_phoenix said on Jan 10, 2009....
beyond- how oxymoronic of you! haha but seriously i think he's gotta come to the realization himself...he needs some help in the ego-boosting department! maybe you can help him there. -
PieterOpie said on Jan 10, 2009....
He is not the failure he imagines. Just somewhat unlucky and that has coloured his life. And you are a very successful friend and lucky to have the ability to see your friend as he really is. You should write him a reference or a resume based on what you have written here. He could do all kinds of things to supplement his income. At the very least he would be a brilliant handy-man. Good ones are hard to find and his range of abilities are excellent.
Good for you. You are a loving person. Karma will reward you....
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Hegemone said on Jan 11, 2009....
It really is amazing how differently people define the word 'success'. Some people need to see that little piece of paper when their name on it, some need to see tons of items surrounding them, some need to know hundreds of people, some need more moolah than others, and it goes on like this. To me, I'll feel that I'm successful when I'm older, in a comfortable place in my life, where I can come home and relax, not stress so much over the little things, I'll have my own branch of family surrounding me, I won't have fears or regrets about things I've done, I'll be proud, reflective, and fond of my past and what I've done. That clarity of knowing that I did the best I could, I had quite a lot of high points in my life and that now I just get to enjoy knowing that I experienced all of it. I truly hope your friend sees all of those wonderful qualities sooner than later. I hope he can believe that even though he doesn't have those certificates, that high paying job, or a squeeky clean past that he's still a really great person who has done and can do a lot. Thank you for sharing! -
truthsayer said on Jan 11, 2009....
Reading along...just wanted you to know. He is a good man and a good friend. He is loved, valued and appreciated. Sounds like success to me. I'll bet if you let him know that love is an action between people that love...that all the good feelings he has in his heart, for other people, are proof positive that he too is loved just as much. Think about it, maybe he'll feel it. He doesn't have to understand, he just needs to feel it. You know me, I like to put my love into words...but my favorite thing is to put my love into ACTION. Do it. Let the Holy Spirit lead you beyond. He heals hearts all the time and He binds up our wounds. He's just been hurt and has a broken heart. Pour it on man...pour it on.
Honored to be your friend,
Truth -
truthsayer said on Jan 11, 2009....
Reading along...just wanted you to know. He is a good man and a good friend. He is loved, valued and appreciated. Sounds like success to me. I'll bet if you let him know that love is an action between people that love...that all the good feelings he has in his heart, for other people, are proof positive that he too is loved just as much. Think about it, maybe he'll feel it. He doesn't have to understand, he just needs to feel it. You know me, I like to put my love into words...but my favorite thing is to put my love into ACTION. Do it. Let the Holy Spirit lead you beyond. He heals hearts all the time and He binds up our wounds. He's just been hurt and has a broken heart. Pour it on man...pour it on.
Honored to be your friend,
Truth -
beyondtheveil said on Jan 11, 2009....
Thank you very much everyone. I make quite a few trips a year to that hometown and most of the reason I go is to spend time with him. I've had several talks with him about this and I can see that by writing this post, its time for another.
I'll think this talk through before going. Make it my best.
And thanks for the tips. You are all such neat people.
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PieterOpie said on Jan 11, 2009....
Truthsayer: CHANGE YOUR NAME WOULD YOU?!!!! It is VERY misleading.
Must you drag that Jesus guy into everything? This is a human story not a fairytale you fruitloop!!! Isn't it about time we left all that voodoo behind us? It is so embarrassing. And you do NOT speak the truth. The truth is Jesus was just a guy. He's gone now.... You need to accept that. Get help, I beg you.
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truthsayer said on Jan 12, 2009....
Oh pie face. Don't be silly. Your opinion, although cute, doesn't change a single thing about God or all of His creation. Silly guy. ; ) Karma??? Oh that's so much smarter and far less delusional. Yup. Ok you "karma-meister". Silly guy. ; )
Hey beyondtheveil, thanks again for sharing your friend with us. I hope he enjoys your next visit immensely!!!
Love, love, love,
Truth
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