Ive been dreaming of so much hope for me and my husband. Everyday i wake up wishing that today will be a great day and that both of us wont think about the crap that happened last year. Ive been scared that all the promises that he has made me about never talking to them would be set in stone. Yet right before the new year about a few days of it he asked me if he could start up his friendship with one of them again. I was speechless to say the least. However i was able to pull myself together and say "NO NEVER EVER!" to him. To my surprise he bacame very angry with my answer. Who on EARTH would ever ask that of me or anyone that they cheated on? Then get angry when they say NO! I didnt want to fight with him so i dropped it. Not sure if i should have. Then a few days ago he started talking about having only 2 options of states to move to for his next duty station. What joy i felt to hear that the only 2 options are right next to them. See one lives in Oregon and the other lives in Vermont! So the only 2 states we can live is Maine and Wash state. The place we will live while in maine is less that 4 hours from that hoes home. Which is the one he drove 10 hours to "spend time with his friend", and the other is 8 hours from wash were we will have to live. So ive been very upset with the thought that he would have the balls to move us to the only 2 fucking places in this world that would make me loose my freaking mind. WTF am i to do with this? Oh and today hes pissed off at me cause i saw a locket and it reminded me of one of his emails to the one in vermont: that he sent her a picture of him to place in her locket to keep near her heart! I didnt say anything when i saw it all that i did was get sad and he got pissed off cause he knew why i was sad and told me that i was starting a fight with him over nothing. I dont know why he keeps on trying to be mean to me. I make it a point not to talk about his actions so why is he treating me like this! He tells me that he needs space and time from me thus the hours in his office alone. But gets mad at me when i go out with friends while he leaves me alone. I really show him only love and caring yet i am met with angry rage and walls. Everything is so cloudy im not sure anymore which way im facing. I know what i want and i know where i will be but all this fog from him is killing me.
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andora said on Jan 04, 2009....
I hate what you are going through
mostly, I hate the state of marriage in our society - you definitely suffer from a double standard
if you are trying to keep your family together, then make the family more important than your own needs and choose celibacy and motherhood along with the double standard that he is imposing upon you
as mothers and wives, we have needs...yet blaming the mother/wife for the lack of intimacy and communication when the father/husband has chosen lying and cheating is taking on way too much of the responsibility. You are in a very difficult situation.
human magnetics replicates the electromagnetic nature of magnets. when magnets are charged with opposite polarities they bond to one another with an invisible and silent bond. Equally, when they are similarly polarized, these same magnets repel one another. The advent of other women ALWAYS follows the magnetic repelling mode that you two are caught within. Men rarely ever consider this on deep spiritual levels, but as a wife and a (i'm guessing a mother) you have no choice but to examine this trap as a spiritual issue that is threatening to destroy your family.
In my studies, men are not neccessarily the monsters they are made out to be when they cheat, there are other reasons
I write about it at length here
a gift from my heart to yours
aloha
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