Apparently, today, my crime was allowing some adulterous lover into the house to change the settings on my husband's handheld video game console. Because, of course, that is more logical than the possibility that perhaps YOUR WIFE was playing your stupid video game!! (Well, ok, he did not specifically accuse me having an extramarital affair, but when he asks "Who's been here today?" in that accusatory tone of voice, I can't help but feel that he is implying that very thing, and I believe that he knows it, even if he will never admit it.)
Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself - let me just be honest about myself here. I cater to my Mean Husband (for the sake of anonymity, let's call him Tony), because that is the only way to have any peace in my house. I don't want the general public (that is to say, the live, in-person, people we encounter on a day-to-day basis) to know that Tony has such a wretched temper and dislikes just about everything and everybody under the sun, so I fake it. I lie to excuse his absence from family functions (mine - he attends his), I ignore his phone calls when I'm on an un-approved outing with friends who do not know the restrictions he places on me, I just don't tell him things in general (me signing up to volunteer at the kids' school, making plans to meet my best girl friend for coffee, how much "cash stash" I have for those rainy days when Tony thought it would be wiser to invest in electronics than in toilet paper and laundry soap for the week).
And where do all my efforts not to piss him off land me? In the freaking doghouse, because, at the end of the day, the tv remote that he knocked off the couch and kicked underneath it on his way to bed last night, still isn't where he swears he left it, therefore I have Moved His Possesions Without His Consent. I believe this breaks cardinal rule of marriage to Tony # 3 - Don't handle the Tony's electronics; YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEM AND YOU WILL BREAK THEM!!!!!
Ok, well, I will divulge more tomorrow (or later today, as it were), but for now I must go to bed; I am dozing off at the keyboard.
Thanks for taking the time,
GirlWithAlterEgo
