I guess. Whatever. So I dont really follow horoscopes THAT much, I do have some sort of a subscription but Im not exactly sure how that happened hah. Anywayz I got one last week that said I was going to lose a really good friend with in a weeks time if I didnt watch my step. I guess it meant cuz I can be a total fuckwad sometimes. Not on purpose. Not even on accident. I dont even realize Im doing it at the time. I just know, I hurt therefore I act. I acted alright. And then I left. So in the end not only did JULIE break up with me (which im happy about) but now I also lost a really great friend and thats that. Thats that because theres no way she will ever forgive me. Nor will I ever get over the fact that she didnt realize why I was so freaking pissed off at the situation we were in.

Yes I explained.

Well I didnt explain, I made someone else do it. But nonetheless, it was explained damn it.

So Ive decided whether its the right thing or wrong thing Im just gonna disappear for while. And I told her that. She never wrote back so im assuming she thinks im an asshole and hates me. Ugh. I really honestly could care less of JULIE thinks im an asshole, cuz JULIE doesnt know her ass from a hole in the ground. But Angie? ITs different. Like It was bad enough ya know the Julie thing, losing someone you love and had so many expectations of, that didnt work out in the end. But Angie was always there. And she always made me smile. And she always made me feel.... not so invisable. Doesnt help that I loved her. But she apparently even hates me for that. Wtf. Wtf am I sposed to do? Shes stubborn as hell. But ya know what If I really meant anything to Julie or Angie or Sarah or whomever else is worth mentioning.. oh wait.. no one else IS worth mentioning.. HAH. Anywayz If I really meant anything to these people like they said I did.. In my mind.. they wouldnt let go. Because if it was me, I wouldnt let go. Then again it seems me and the rest of world are on totally polar opposites when it comes to live and love and relationships and.. everything.

Maybe im retarded.

The sun is rising, the flecks of orange and yellow are spilling into my room from the slits in my blinds... And yet, I cant sleep.

I miss you Angie.