The other day, I had one of those terrible nights: a combination of overindulgence and misguided intentions. But I'm fine.

It was one of those godawful nights, far from being one of my absolute worst, but still unpleasant to reflect upon and I've decided it's best to let it fade in my memory with age, so I won't really go into too much detail here.

I haven't heard a word from Amy in days, and I have to admit that I'm worried. Maybe not so much for her (she's a competent young woman), but about how she feels about me. There are a thousand little things that I might have done or said to make her less than pleased with me. The truth is, I know she's not the best person in the world. Neither does she make the wisest decisions. However, I cannot ignore how I feel or what my desires are.

I'd like to think that my life is pretty simple. I'm a poor college student with intimacy issues; that's really not so bad a life when I think about it. But every once in a while I pursue something so absolutely pointless that I seem almost like a madman when I look at myself from the outside, in. It's not at all like me and Amy have any real possible future together. I'm not saying that I'm only pursuing lifelong, soulmate-type relationships. Me and Amy's relationship is, by its nature, constrained to awkward reunions and brief liaisons.

I'm not being brave. I'm being practical. I guess I'll just surf the Web, listen to some music, and read a book. Meanwhile, I'll check my inbox for emails and my phone for messages every hour or so. It's folly, I know. But, despite all my reasoning, I don't really mind how foolish I'm acting.