For all you lexophiles (lovers of words) out there...
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. A smile is a frown turned upside down.
Zayda posted on Aug 23, 2006
| views: 685
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Aug 23, 2006....
i needed to smile about something. thanks! :>
ed
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paidinblood said on Aug 24, 2006....
It's either I'm stupid or I have a mental defect because I can't understand 3. Totally digged the post! Great laughs!
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Zayda said on Aug 24, 2006....
paidinblood.
fruit flies...as in the insect...fruit flies like a banana (especially an overly ripe one.) :D
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GMNIMan said on Aug 24, 2006....
Wow Zayda, this is great. This should keep me smiling the rest of the week!
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GrapeKoolaid said on Aug 24, 2006....
Good stuff. Very "Pun"ny
If I may add a few more,
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
Protons have mass? I didn't know even they were catholic.
I've got a few more on a blog I posted a while back. Have a look, if you wish, though they're more silly questions than puns.
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Bordy said on Aug 24, 2006....
And Chicken Coops only have two doors, or else they'd be a chicken sedan.
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 24, 2006....
My Brother would love this very much! Can I send it to him?
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paidinblood said on Aug 24, 2006....
Oh, so that's what it meant. I'm still smiling :D
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Zayda said on Aug 24, 2006....
Susmaryosep, sure, send it to your brother. :)
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Jenna said on Aug 24, 2006....
This is so fun! Thanks for sharing!
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Bordy said on Aug 24, 2006....
Zayda, I hope you don't mind, but I playfully nabbed this post for my other blog. I gave you full credit (and link) of course.
In retrospect, I should have asked first, but you gotta gimme credit for tryin and for giving you link credit ;)
You can see it here, if you like
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Zayda said on Aug 24, 2006....
well, bordy, look at it this way--you did what any person should do when they "borrow" material from someone else--you gave the someone else credit. :) [now if we could only get my students to understand that process.]
i don't mind that you nabbed it for your other blog.
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JadeLondon said on Aug 24, 2006....
What is the difference between a donkey and a postage stamp?
The donkey you lick with a stick; the stamp you stick with a lick.
It is obviously an old riddle: animal lovers everywhere would be up in arms, and it has been a few years since one could 'lick' stamps.
I wonder what that means to the stamp collectors of the world. A glorified sticker collection?
GREAT post, BTW. The word nerd in me grew all warm and fuzzy.
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Zayda said on Aug 24, 2006....
jade: it made me all warm and fuzzy too. lol..oh the glory of being a word nerd. :)
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 25, 2006....
And I am a horny toad, as jade says... :-)))
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lioneljay said on Aug 25, 2006....
I love it.
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 25, 2006....
lioneljay, Who do you Love>?
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hotaka said on Aug 26, 2006....
Oh, darn. I was going to add what GrapeKoolaid wrote but I think I got them from GK anyway. I am going to send the link to this to a few friends. Thanks!
Hmm... I think I'll do a post about word play in song lyrics.
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joyma said on Aug 26, 2006....
hi i am new to soulcast. hello zayda ! i also could not understand no. 3. anywy i needed to smile this evening. thanks to you i did.
joyma
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 26, 2006....
Joyma,
A fruit fly is an insect, and they like ripe bananas!