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It looks as though today is the first day that I am going to have no cigarettes to smoke.  This is good, even if the addict in me thinks otherwise.  I want to quit smoking because it is a waste of money.  There are much more important things in this world that I could be spending my money on, even though I smoke roll your owns.  I think that there are two sides to me that fight each other.  There's the self destructive side that does alot that is supposed to be detrimental to my health.  Then there is the side that wants to take care of myself.  With both sides taking turns controlling my being, it's very difficult to function.  I could be strong and confident one minute.  Then I change into this suicidal mess.  This goes on in a flip floppy way.  I'm glad that they increased my mood stabilizer last week.  I'm also glad that I'm taking 300 milligrams of Wellbutrin.  The Wellbutrin should help me quit smoking, especially if I continue using the Commit lozenges in the way I'm doing so.  It's going to be a good day today.  I can feel it.


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Comments

  • mixednuts said on Dec 22, 2008....
    OMG!..... If you are really going to quit than I will too! I quit right NOW! It's time to do the do!
  • hellboundmercinary said on Dec 22, 2008....
    Well, I did pretty dang good today.  I only had one smoke that I bummed all day long.  Tommorrow I'm going for none.  If I can last like that on one, I know that I can do it.  It's just been driving me batty.
  • lionesss said on Dec 23, 2008....
    hello hell.. its very hard to give up smoking but you have taken the 1st step and you have a positive attitude towards this also, yes you will save alot of money and your heaith will improve, if you fill a jar with the money you wud buy your roll ups each and every day you will be amazed how much you saved then go out and treat yourself with that as a reward,, i really do hope you see this thru, keep it up good luck i will check in again to see how its going,
    merry christmas to you ...x
  • curezilla said on Dec 23, 2008....
    Don't do it! Not even one
  • hellboundmercinary said on Dec 23, 2008....
    I'm doing well thus far this morning.  How ya'll doing?
  • lionesss said on Dec 24, 2008....
    hello to you, im just making sure your keeping up the good work, and staying strong, a round of applause for you :)x
  • hellboundmercinary said on Dec 24, 2008....
    I bummed one smoke today and have had half a commit lozenge.  I'm getting used to having less nicotine in my diet.  Yesterday I had no cigarette and 1 1/2 commit.  Today when I had that cigarette I got dizzy.  I know I don't need them now.
  • lionesss said on Dec 25, 2008....
    Arer mind, never mind, is a commit lozenge like nicotine sweets or are they just normal sweets, and at least you havent had anotha 1, and its twice as hard ova the xmas season with the merryment and parties, but good for you, keep it up xx
  • hellboundmercinary said on Dec 25, 2008....
    A commit lozenge has nicotine in it.  So far, today, all I have had was half a commit.  Cool huh?

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