It looks as though today is the first day that I am going to have no cigarettes to smoke. This is good, even if the addict in me thinks otherwise. I want to quit smoking because it is a waste of money. There are much more important things in this world that I could be spending my money on, even though I smoke roll your owns. I think that there are two sides to me that fight each other. There's the self destructive side that does alot that is supposed to be detrimental to my health. Then there is the side that wants to take care of myself. With both sides taking turns controlling my being, it's very difficult to function. I could be strong and confident one minute. Then I change into this suicidal mess. This goes on in a flip floppy way. I'm glad that they increased my mood stabilizer last week. I'm also glad that I'm taking 300 milligrams of Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin should help me quit smoking, especially if I continue using the Commit lozenges in the way I'm doing so. It's going to be a good day today. I can feel it.



