• MsStar39 said on Dec 22, 2008....

  Your writing this shows that you are not a worthless parent, as long as you are there, you can learn how to be more giving, the important thing is that you love them and are there for them. 

• Hegemone said on Dec 22, 2008....

  I don't think you're worthless either if you feel that something is wrong.  A worthless parent would never see this and would never reach out for help.  Spend time with them, but not TOO much time.  Do things they're interested in.  Show them neat things you're interested in.  Don't give up too fast.  Don't let them walk all over you all the time, but don't rule with an iron fist all the time either.  Just don't leave.  That will hurt more than you know, because while they gripe and whine and take it for advantage now that you are there ... they'll feel even worse, betrayed, confused, abused, etc. if you leave.  So DON'T just leave.  In this type of a situation, stopping communication with your children is generally something that should be on THEIR terms once they're of age to consciously make that decision, knowing what it'll mean, not for you to decide by yourself.  Good luck, I don't know much more about you so I can't give you any further words of encouragement, but really, good luck and happy holidays.

• CentralCAGal said on Dec 23, 2008....

  My x-husband was a poor father. His biggest fault was he was selfish. What made him happy was more important than his children's success and training for adulthood. So, my advice is to not be selfish. Do not spend time on your computer. Spend time with your children (at least 2 hours per night - depending on the number of kids) going over their homework. Your priorities may have to reallign.

• lionesss said on Dec 23, 2008....

  when you become a parent a rule book of do's or dnt's come with them, every parent makes mistakes and beat themselves up b/c they think they are the only parent that has made mistakes, but by posting this you are not worthless or hopeless, you its just your confused and need a little guidence and for to learn about your childs needs /likes ,its clearly obvious you love your children and want to put right the things you think you've done wrong, but garenteed your not on your own with half of the stuff, communication is very important and to let them know you are listenin to them make time to learn from each other and a bond will develop eventually..i wish you good luck and merry christmas ..x

• digital said on Dec 23, 2008....

  Dont worry, do you should to do and try your best. Dont think about "good enough". I agree this "The important is you are there for them".

• humanbeing said on Dec 23, 2008....

  Got no right to say 'I am right'.  All I have is my heart and it says 'what the fuck are you saying????'
  
  
  You are saying that you are not a good parent....well, guess what?  That may actually be true.  Don't dismiss it is a possibilty, and don't, at the same time, make it some sort of 'bad' thing, a failure on your part...because..it aint.  I do not know you, you do not know me..but I already know from your expression that you cannot fathom their reaction to you....it does not make them right or you wrong...the mere question is enough to make you whole....you wonder if you did 'right' by them...and the answer is always and categorically...NO....we the parents, we the children...there is no RIGHT or WRONG....for fucks sake, let us all stop thinking in such terms.
  
  
  It is not anyones 'fauilt' that they accepted the sysytem, the stories, the moral standards, the accepted behaviour...it just is...and in that there is sadness and hurt and hatred and truth...but it is what it is.... get over it.
  
  
  You are beautiful...simply because you question....remember that and remind others whenever you can

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