You see, while I am far from equipped with "kinky male lovers" in the way that every other sex blogger in the blogosphere seems to be, there are one or two single fathers who are commitmentphobic enough and desperate enough to consider doing hitty things to me an interesting diversion from their own depression; I have plans to meet up with one of these tomorrow for what he is referring to as "scratching the seven year itch" - meaning it's been seven years since we last had sex with each other (in the interim he has sired a child and acquired a degree; meanwhile I have acquired a child's worth of excess weight and become approximately four hundred times more perverted than I was when he had me) - and he has been typically plan-oriented and demanded to know about safewords and limits and all the usual BDSM talk until I was quite tempted to tell him where he could shove his plans and without the benefit of lube.

Neither he nor the other single dad are even close to intellectually compatible (we won't get into physique as I'm chucking sizeable rocks from a very fragile glass house), but work well enough as "you'll do"; except when they are trying to write me Sexy Texts, and I suddenly find my interest in any activity with them diminishes to the size of my conscience: microscopic. I wish men wouldn't try to be verbally dominant like that. They don't have the imagination.

The important development here, though, is that the gentleman with whom I am supposed to be spending tomorrow night engaged in handcuffs, hitty things, bleeding passtimes, and my happy misuse of cigarettes, contacted me yesterday to tell me that certain activities - the penetrative, penis-related ones - are going to have to be put on hold, because --

He might have caught herpes from someone.

This is my life. I'm afraid I just laughed for a long time and chided him for being a grown-up (we have known each other a while; he knows what I mean) rather than being overwhelmed by hurt feelings. I am intrigued to know how this will turn out, as this means it's all BDSM and no vanilla. And I am a long way from feeling anything for him besides the same vague affection and exasperation I lavish on all my male friends of that ilk. 

It's not perfect, but hopefully it will be better than nothing.