Usually, I just arch an eyebrow, point to the syllabus and schedule and snarkily remind them that anything covered in the days they missed is listed on the schedule as well as available to them on the course website.
This year, I think I am changing my, tack. I am going to glean bits of snarkiness from the poem below and add them to my arsenal for responding to that question:
DID I MISS ANYTHING?
Question frequently asked by
students after missing a class
Nothing. When we realized you weren't here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours
Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 percent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I'm about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent
Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose
Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light suddenly descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring the good news to all people
on earth
Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?
Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human experience
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been
gathered
but it was one place
And you weren't here
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Wayman, T. (1993). Did I miss anything? Selected poems 1973-1993.
Vancouver, BC: Harbour Publishing
