I want to be a more spiritual person.  I can't do that by making fun of those who have hurt me.  There has to be a better way.  When people pass judgement on me, I don't like it.  Why should I be doing it to them.  I want to be happy, not spent.  I don't want to get happy by pissing on others either.  I was wrong last night.  I am still upset with her, but not as bad.  Christianity states that you should forgive your enemies.  The only thing is, when you do that, they continue to hurt you, most likely in the same way.  What is right, and what is wrong?  I know that they don't learn anything usually if you forgive them.  You only lose your self respect and esteem.  I know that I feel alot better not talking to her.  Being that I am not a child anymore, I didn't need to get yelled at.  Anyway, I have to find another approach to dealing with bad people.  Yesterday some chick said that I wasn't with God.  I don't know her, and don't care to.  She has no idea as to who I am with in a reality situation.  Who is God really?  Who saved me three out of four times without medication, from myself?  I have heard someone exclaim that the devil did it.  I don't care who my neighbors think did it.  I know what I believe.  I know that a higher force has kept me here for some strange reason.  I know that it disappoints some, but that's too bad.  I wonder how I'm going to handle these people.  They clearly don't know me when I am not aggravated.  If people left me alone, I'd be more apt to heal.  I have to figure out to heal despite the things that they say.  They want to be argumentative with me.  I know that.  I could be sitting there minding my own business while they comment.  It seems that they want to start fights with me.  They judge me.  If they were with "God", at least the biblical version, they wouldn't do so.  If they are hypocrites, they would pass the lovely judgement.  If I can get myself to ignore them, I'll be alright.  I know that they are clearly ignorant.  There.  Now I pass judgement.  Still, is that the right way to be?  I just have to do the best that I can, and say to hell with their shit.  I mean, really.  I don't see any point to their garbage.  I am starting to feel like the whole trailer park is taking turns attacking me.  I even heard some guy say that I wasn't schizophrenic.  Since when was he a psychiatrist?  Who is he to say what I am and what I'm not?  My last diagnosis was Schizophrenia.  If I'm not Schizophrenic, then why in the world would they have ever read my mind?  Anyway, he wasn't a doctor, so who cares?  I am hurt by them spending so much time focusing on me when they should be worried about their own lives.  I'm not bothering them.  Why the heck are they doing it to me?  I think that they are trying to silence me.  It's doing no good.  They aren't going to scare me out of trying to speak out.  I have heard people claim that I'm misbehaving.  I think they should realize that I watch others do a hell of alot worse than me.  I quit smoking weed.  I don't do any other drugs besides nicotine and caffiene.  I quit drinking.  I am of legal age to drink.  6 months after the only time I was arrested, they dropped the charges that were against me.  No one is perfect.  As I get older, I try harder to become a better person.  That doesn't mean that I should tolerate the ignorance of older adults stating that I'm not behaving, as if I were a child.  I live with my mother because I am disabled.  I don't live with her because I'm still an adolescent.  Yeah, the comments are stupid.  They bother me.  They make no sense.  There is no reason for anyone to single a person out and state that they are not with "God".  I realize that this Southern Hicksville state is more conservative than where I'm from or where I have been.  Still, that doesn't mean that they should be passing judgement.  While they judge me, perhaps they are risking their own salvation.  I think that what Jesus said is more important than his followers, because they weren't "perfect" like him.  I view things that way if one is to live the proper christian life.  I don't care how they live, really.  They make their own choices.  I am more worried about my life.  I don't have time to pry into their affairs just because some of them want to pry into mine.  I don't care if people read my blog.  That's not a problem.  What I post publically online is supposed to be read.  I'm sharing.  Anyway, hopefully while I'm at the church doing my deeds, I'll come up with a way to put their words of antagonization out of my life.  One day I will be able to function normally in society again.  I'll be better prepared to cope with ignorance too.