I know I haven't posted in a while, but I just haven't had anything particularly interesting to write about lately. But I started thinking about something.
We all have something about ourselves that we hide from the world. Perhaps we want to protect others from thinking negatively about us. These things are nothing bad; we're just afraid that if others knew, you would be shunned. You would be an outcast.
Let's say you're psychic. You can see things before they happen, or maybe you just have this bad feeling that you shouldn't leave the house today. Surely, some people would think this to be strange. Suppose you tell someone. You may lose friends. Your family may alienate you.
Suppose you have a physical or developmental disability. You think rationally. You live like everyone else, but suppose you tell someone out in cyberspace? What would they do? What would they say?
People could alienate you. You could lose friends. Your heart may shatter into tiny little pieces when you realize the world isn't as friendly as it is construed to be.
How do you feel about all this? Of course, it's not good to divulge your whereabouts on this earth, but how do you feel about divulging such information about yourself?
Personally, I don't think it's all that great of a thing. It makes us vulnerable. It makes us weak.
starlightstarbright posted on Aug 23, 2006
| views: 511
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Aug 23, 2006....
i'm a simple creature. this means that my personality is straightforward, my strengths and weaknesses are generally readily apparent at first glance. therefore, what i've learned over the years is that if i tell someone something personal of that sort, they've usually already guessed/suspected it. :>
ed
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secretlife said on Aug 23, 2006....
How are you?
I've been thinking about you since your father died and how you've been holding up.
I'm not as simple as sw- I hide things that i think won't be accepted or might disappoint those I love. I know that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's what i do.
I don't think that makes me weak or vulnerable. In fact, one of the reasons I began to hide things was so that I would have a 'place' to be vulnerable.
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starlightstarbright said on Aug 23, 2006....
secretlife:
It's nince to hear from you again. I'm holding up well, thought the past three weeks have been a living Hell. People have been turning against one another in my family, just because they're grieving. It's unbelievably hard, but things have returned to some sense of normalcy. It's just hard moving on, knowing my father won't be there to see me get married in the spring.
As for me, I'm holding up well. I tend to be the strong one of the family, but I did cry a lot last week at the funeral. I wrote and gave my father's eulogy.
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Jenna said on Aug 23, 2006....
Hello starlight...I signed up here just as you were posting about your father's death. I am sorry for that loss. And you will always be proud of yourself for giving your father's eulogy.
Welcome back!
I think before you share any deep dark secrets, you must trust the individual or individuals completely. I think there is some level of comfort sharing here because of the anonymity, however with that said...I still would not share something extremely personal. (although I must admit, I have shared some pretty personal things.) So far they have been accepted with kindness.
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secretlife said on Aug 23, 2006....
I wrote my dad's eulogy 2 years ago.
It was a very hard thing to do, but I am so glad now that I did it. Keep a copy somewhere, and when you are stronger (I did it the year anniversary of his death, re-read it...)
We had some very 'sore' moments in my family as in-laws were butting into my dad's business where they had no right to be. But somehow, we managed to get thru. I know it's tense and everyone isn't themselves. I had to go back to work after 2 weeks just to keep busy. I find keeping busy is sometimes a salvation.
Cliche as it sounds, the only thing that helps is time.
And even after 2 years, I still cry.
My oldest graduated 8th grade, is lieutenant on the HS marching band, my middle is on the high honor roll for an entire year....she won an award at her dance studio for her tap dancing, my son made his first communion -wore his first suit, got his junior black belt...on every occasion I think....'daddy you didn't get to see this' and i am sad again.
I don't know how long it takes.
But I know it's very hard.
I am luckier than you. See, you can always find someone who has had it worse. My dad walked me down the aisle.
I'm so sorry you will miss this.
So sorry.
On that day, have no doubt that he will be with you.
I believe that.
He lives in you-
I keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
SL
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Alyss said on Aug 24, 2006....
Nice to see you again. I'm so sorry that things are tough but completely understand.
I usually keep things hidden or rather I keep my personal feelings and such like hidden. I'm half anticpating SW and some others disagreeing with me though and saying I am very easy to read.
Some things I won't disclose here in particular as the community is so new and so broad; elsewhere I am less circumspect as there's a feeling of confidence that comes with long familiarity.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 24, 2006....
Starlight,
I'm glad to see you back and offer you my sincerest sympathies.
In the real world, I keep most of my feelings buried inside. I am looked to as the one to keep things together and I am there for other people. I don't get a lot of that in return. They are all too busy dealing with their own lives.
I am much more open here. That's probably why I sound like a whiner sometimes. :-)
CW
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starlightstarbright said on Aug 24, 2006....
secretlife:
It's so nice of you to think of me, Your post actually got me to thinking. I am divorced, and my father did walk me down the aisle the first time. I am once again engaged to a man I have known for seven months. He is unlike anyone I have ever met before. It's a wonderful feeling to know that you have found that one person in the world that you are meant to spend your life with. We plan to get married next spring, but we are facing another dilemna.
Neither of us are big on weddings or all the fuss that goes along with them, so we are hoping to just go to the courthouse and elope. The question, however, is, will we make our relatives angry by doing so? We have big dreams of buying a home and raising a family. But the question is...what do you do in a situation like ours?
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starlightstarbright said on Aug 24, 2006....
Creative:
I can definitely relate to being the one who holds everything together. And thanks for your condolences, by the way.
And you don't sound like a whiner. I understand your feelings 100 percent.
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secretlife said on Aug 24, 2006....
Since you had one wedding, I don't see how anyone could be angry with you for wanting to do something quiet and private.
Is this his first marriage? If so, you might want to consider some small intimate lunch/dinner thing for his sake and for his family.
There are lots of ways to keep weddings low key.
You could invite people just for cake and champagne (or coffee and tea), just for the purpose of making it 'official' and having everyone meet everyone else....
Otherwise, I say do it your way. Take a nice picture of the two of you and send out an announcement to your families.
I'm glad to know you have him.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 24, 2006....
Secret is right. Let the ceremony be about you. Then let your friends and family plan a reception for you so they feel involved. It could still be special for them too.
CW
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starlightstarbright said on Aug 25, 2006....
Right after I posted this last night, my fiance and I talked about it. He said he doesn't care. He could get married in a tshirt and jeans, and it would be alright, but he is rather set on the place I chose to have a wedding. So instead of having the big blowout, we have opted to have a small wedding at a park and then take our guests (close family) out to a restaurant nearby.
That way, we can still have our wedding with the ones we love. I can have a dress, the flowers at the park, the lake, and the beauty of nature all surrounding us. We just won't have a dj and the 100-some guests that most weddings have. I did that the first go-round, and I didn't like it at all.
I'm really excited about it, because I get to go dress shopping and still save a lot of money, so we can buy a house and start a family.
Thanks for the advice, guys!
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 25, 2006....
Congratulations and Best of Luck!
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secretlife said on Aug 25, 2006....
Sounds like it will be a beautiful wedding!
Now you have to post about shopping for your dress so we will know what you're going to wear...
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hotaka said on Aug 29, 2006....
I have never been able to hide things well. If I am happy I blab about it. If I am upset I grumble about it. There are very few secrets about myself that I keep. Recently I have been a bit down about things and that has come up in my blogs (and the fact that I deleted a bunch of unpopular entries out of frustration). I can't hide my disappointments about myself. I am straightforward about my short-comings. What I have found is that here on SoulCast, when I feel like I am whining and being a bit childish there have been people who posted comments to cheer me up. I am afraid of admitting very little here. Some things, however, are just no one's business.
Sorry about your father. I have yet to experience that but I know the day may be not that many years away. I dread it.
Congratulations on the wedding. Everything will be wonderful.
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mysterious said on Sep 10, 2006....
I'm a very private person but when I need to say something, like a thought or an opinion, I can be frank about such things, in a nice way :-) .
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