Man today I'm feeling the hurt from the things "the hold" said to me the other day..he said some really aweful things, usually I chuck it up to him just being mad and taking things out on me in the heat of the moment. Not this time. So far I have not attempted to reach out and I have not accepted any calls/emails/texts from him I've given in to his pleas in less than an hour in the past so this is a record for me...I'm proud of myself for that but I'm hurting now because he made a few nasty comments about my weight (I'm 252lbs 5'6 3/4) and he said that he didn't want me and nobdy ever would because I'm not worth anything:-( oh damn I got it out and I'm crying now...the thing about my weight doesn't bother me..for the most part I'm comfortable with the way I look and feel. That he said nobody would ever want me and I'm not worth anything..that really fucks with my head..those are my deepest darkest fears, and he said those words to me like he knows too that I'm going to live life lonely to the end...I'm thinking all of this now and it hurts a lot just to have someone know those things about me and use them against me. I'm such a laid back person most of the time..I don't like to hurt peoples feelings..he said that and a lot more hurtful shit to me and through it all I didn't say much...at the end I sent him to hell and told him to lose my number..I still wantrd him and the fucked up part is I feel that if he came and spoke to me face to face..I'm just afraid of what would happen..I don't want it to I'm a beautiful strong person and I know I deserve more...I think. I'm trying to be positive..I feel better that I'm slowly getting this out..