It started out an ordinary life, we met in college, married, got good jobs and had a pretty baby girl. We bought a house or two and had plenty of friends. Life was good.
We ventured down to the seashore in July 2001 and were fully prepared to partake of the high life, I chose Chardonnay and he chose Merlot as we were toasting the good fortune of some friends who cashed out some stock and checked into retirement in their late forties. The views from their new house on the bay screamed "paradise" and we leaned in to each other to clink the party glasses. But I noticed at once that my "red" Irishman was an ashen color. A split second later and we were in the ER waiting to see what kind of mess we were in with our first heart attack. God, I love that man. We lived! And the lesson seemed to be: live well and laugh. Time is not promised.
In 2003 I found myself at a Broadway matinee with a girlfriend, once again dipping my toe into the magic of living. By 9 PM though, I was in great pain and by dawn it was my turn to take us to the ER. Cancer. Ugh. This can't be my fairy tale, coz I would have never approved of this script. But nine months later, I would re-emerge from the fog of treatments, sheepishly looking to my man and proclaiming: we lived! We're bald, but we lived! And the lesson seemed to be: live well and laugh, for sure, time is not promised. God, I love that man.
I went to work today and was spreading peanut butter on my toast when the call came. It was my man and he was taking us to the ER once more. What's with us? He had just about passed out this morning somewhere between a cuppa joe and logging into the job boards once more. I have been a little impatient with this process of his re-entering corporate America. Broodings that I have brought to this community recently. I recall being somewhat put upon to consider being the breadwinner of the family when I wasn't really in the mood.
Well, we don't know what the trouble is this time. Could be his heart. Could be his blood, Good God, what could this be? And now I have to wait until tomorrow when they see if we have new heart stuff or another disease that we know nothing about. Tomorrow...This is all I know right now...I tucked my young one into bed tonight (ok, as much as you can tuck a teen-ager) and I'm scared to go to sleep. I am afraid that I took some things for granted. I am afraid that my soul mate and I have forgotten something. I am afraid that we forgot to live well and to laugh as much as we could TOGETHER. I am afraid that time is not promised.
Mamie posted on Aug 22, 2006
| views: 435
Comments
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Jenna said on Aug 22, 2006....
Honey love... my girlfriend...tears are pouring out of my eyes. Funny how I knew to call five minutes ago. ( Yes, I am outting us as friends)... my arms are wrapped around you. He will be ok. I know it in my heart. I love you...and I wish you so much more time....love to you Mamie!!!!Jenna
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Mamie said on Aug 22, 2006....
thank you friend. Just so long as you don't intend on outting anything else you might know, I think its fine! I am glad you are psychic, go easy on me if you really are. PRAY YOUR SKINNY LITTLE ASS OFF!!
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Jenna said on Aug 22, 2006....
Honey girl... my prayer list is a long one tonight. Will not tell any secrets... isn't that in the girlfriend code book???? Baby, turn off the computer... go to bed and think nothing but pleasant thoughts. I have a good feeling about this one....love you!!!!
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Mamie said on Aug 22, 2006....
I always thought you were bossy. Fine! GOOD NIGHT!!
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Jenna said on Aug 22, 2006....
Sweet dreams.....
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
I'm saying a prayer for you right now.
You are so right - time is not promised. We are fooling ourselves to think otherwise.
Live well and laugh often.
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the_infernal_optimist said on Aug 22, 2006....
Oh, Mamie, you've got my prayers for your DH (and for you). ((hugs)) You deserve more time to laugh and love together, and if there's anything within my power to help there, you have it.
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silverwhisper said on Aug 23, 2006....
mamie, i'm so sorry to hear that. please keep us updated.
ed
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dauntlessreign said on Aug 23, 2006....
be strong ang you'll surpass it with faith...
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Jenna said on Aug 23, 2006....
I am responding for mamie... please say your prayers... that is all I feel I can say!
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Jenna said on Aug 23, 2006....
I didn't mean to say it that many time.. She wll laugh, trust me!
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2006....
Mamie,
I'll be praying for you too. Promise.
CW
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Mamie said on Aug 24, 2006....
greetings soulcasters and a huge thank you for prayers and well wishes. I am delighted to share that we are living once more! I am feeling delirious but happy. What started as an emergency ends up being a "plumbing" operation (teehee). There were three blockages to be opened up, BUT no incremental heart damage and no by-passes necessary! That is tremendously good news given his history.
And Lord knows, it was a big wake up call for the
Mame-ster...friends have pointed out that perhaps we should change houses, careers etc. as the past years seem to point to a large measure of bad luck...believe it or not, I am actually feeling that we reside in "the house of LUCKY"...he's coming home today and has informed me that he was instructed to ignore any honey-do lists for 6 months to a year...haha.
God, I love that man!
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secretlife said on Aug 24, 2006....
I'm sooooooo happy to hear your good news!
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silverwhisper said on Aug 24, 2006....
whew!
:>
ed
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Mamie said on Aug 24, 2006....
thank you friends...exhausted but happy, back to blogging soon.
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FaithfulDisciple said on Aug 25, 2006....
I admire your tenacity not to let the tragedies in your life get you down. You always tend to look at the brighter side of things even when sometimes they are difficult to see.
In your words "And Lord knows, it was a big wake up call for the Mame-ster", I seem to think so too. With so much to be thankful for in life, perhaps it would be good to do some soul searching to try and understand what these recent events catastrophic as they may have been, that have transpired in your life; is God trying to tell you.
You write with such emotional intensity that I felt your sincerity, gratefulness, optimism and admirable determination. I shall include you both in my prayers that you shall come out of these difficult trials both better than when you started out. Time may not be promised but God will always be there for you when you need Him.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 25, 2006....
Mamie,
I'm so glad he will be alright. Your positive attitude is inspiring.
CW
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rosking said on Aug 26, 2006....
Just wanted to wish you and your family all the best and hope things will be fine.
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Mamie said on Aug 27, 2006....
thank you rosking and welcome to soulcast!!
Comment on "Musings from the ER"
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