If I'm to persevere in this dark and lowly reality called life, there are many frightening things that I am just going to have to ignore.  Some of those things are the mind readers and others that persecute me.  The mind readers miss the point, so they still don't know me.  The others that poke fun at me really have no idea as to what is within my burdened heart.  I am going to have to start ignoring those who laugh at me like the stupid bitch from last night.  I don't know why someone else in suffering is funny to these people.  They're sick.  They need much help.  Something bad could happen to them or one of their loved ones.  Someone could lose a job and not be able to find work before unemployment runs out.  Someone could become disabled and not be able to pay their bills.  Hell, both things could happen in their household.  These things don't just happen to me.  If anyone has noticed, they have been happening like crazy all around the country.  I read a line online yesterday about how America is losing so many more jobs.  We are headed for a depression, if we aren't in one already.  I believe we are in a recession right now.  If it keeps going, we're going to all be shot to hell. 

 

I have a very hard time ignoring people.  This much I do know.  That's probably why all of these people are ganging up on me in the trailer park.  I think that they are pushing me to flip out and kill someone's ass.  I am trying very, very, hard to keep those murderous thoughts from becoming a reality.  I don't feel like going to jail.  I'm tired of getting hurt.  They play on the fact that I am sensitive.  They are trying to push me to do something so that I get arrested.  They would slap the shit outta someone if they said the shit that they have been saying to me.  I know it.  I can't even go out and get the mail without some fuck talking about my hair?  At least it was clean.  I am trying to let my hair grow out.  It's in a blah phase while it's doing so.  I can't help that.  Men should all know better than to talk bad about a woman's hair.  That guy is a fucking idiot.  I have to remember what was communicated to me last night.  "Take it for what it's worth."  That's just it.  Who the hell are these damn people?  They have no meaning in my life.  I guess I should start being a poor woman with a "snobbish" attitude.  I'm already pretty damn introverted.  Without getting to know me, they pass judgement on me. Perhaps they are passing this increasing judgement on me because I am trying to work at the church still.  It's discouraging to know that there are still so many ignorant people that throw emotional stones at people because they are different.  I don't think that times have changed all that much.  My hair may not be stylish, but so what!  What is fashion to me anymore really?  I'm just glad that I have clothes that fit me the way I want them to.  I'm glad that my hair was clean and can be cleaned again.  Yeah, today it is time to treat these demon possessed people as if they are just hallucinations.  I know how to react to those.  Maybe the voices and shit have been practice for what was to come.