There is no telling how many men at any given time are cheating on
their wives. To get an accurate reading would be almost impossible.
You would have to ask men about something that they normally lie
about and then expect them to tell the truth.
Probably the best way to get an accurate reading is to ask men how
many of them feel they have been driven to an affair by their
wives. I am sure men would be more than glad to own up to being a
victim of circumstance and not having been the bad guy in the
situation.
As long as men keep looking to blame someone or something for their
infidelity, women will be lost on how to change their cheating
ways.
It is hard to say how many men get into a marriage for all the
wrong reasons.
They want to have someone to have their babies.
They want to fit in with other people in their social circle.
They want to have someone to be at home with them, now that they no
longer live with their parents.
They want someone to take the place of their mothers and baby them.
No matter what the reason, some men do not get in a marriage to be
faithful. These men see their wives as the next step on the ladder
of adulthood. They have become unable or unwilling to keep up the
pace of single life, but do not want to give up the thrill of the
chase.
These men are what I call Cakemen.
Cakemen are men who want to have their cake and eat it too. These
men do not leave their wives. These men stay with their wives and
date someone else at the same time.
They like the fact that they can have someone stable at home,
taking care of business, while they continue to play single guy
with other women.
They have no real desire to leave their wives and move on to
someone else, unless their activities are discovered.
If they are discovered, many of these Cakemen dump the girlfriend
and stay with the wife, only to go back to cheating once the dust
has settled.
In a man's way of thinking, staying with his wife makes all the
sense in the world.
If he leaves his wife, then they will have to split up their
possessions as well as their bills. In many times it takes a man
several years to recover from this.
On the other hand, if he keeps the wife, he gets to keep his
lifestyle going with only a minor glitch. The minor glitch is that
he will have to act like he is real sorry, dump the old girlfriend,
wait awhile, and then go back out and find a new girlfriend.
One of the major reasons men become Cakemen is because they do not
want to grow up. It takes a mature adult to handle the day to day
responsibilities of a monogamous relationship.
When a man has to see a women everyday and negotiate bills,
affection, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and personal undesirable
behavior, he longs for a simpler way of living. He wants to be a
grown up, but somewhere in his soul he wants all the benefits and
none of the responsibility.
Having a woman on the side allows him to play two different roles
at the same time. In his mind the pressures of married life can be
released by having a sexual relationship with someone else.
In his marriage he can play responsible man and co-decision maker,
while in his affair, he can call all the shots and be the lord of
the relationship.
The second major reason a man becomes a Cakeman is to keep the
feeling of being a player.
When a man gets married, many times he sees himself as being caught
or conquered. It is now time for him to go out to pasture and be
used as a stud service.
In his eyes, he is slowly, but surely becoming his dad. His days of
being a major competitor are over. It is easy to see how this type
of thinking would make a man feel old before his time.
One of the easiest and most available ways to feel young and in the
game is to get into an affair. Now he is desirable. Now he is a
man's man.
He is now feeling young and, even though his conscience might be
bothering him, the thrill of being a player certainly outweighs
those negative thoughts.
The final reason that men cheat on their wives, but don't leave
them, is that it is a safety net.
Very few men get excited about a full blown gamble. They want to
believe that they at least have a 50/50 chance of winning. If there
is any way to stack the cards in their favor, they are going to do
it.
This is the thinking behind having a wife and a girlfriend. If for
some reason a man's wife is unwilling to be affectionate when and
how he wants, then he has his girlfriend to take up the slack.
If a man wants to be the center of attention and the mister know-it-
all, but his wife deflates his ego, then he can go to his
girlfriend for a good dose of hero worshipping.
It is not just the wife who gets the short end of the stick, the
girlfriend also suffers. At some time, most girlfriends who have
heard a man say he hates his wife will entertain the subject of
divorce or even marriage.
When a Cakeman is confronted with this issue, he is able to make
excuses and fall back into a dilemma of commitment or what is the
"right" thing to do. This position successfully keeps the
girlfriend at bay for fear that she might lose him.
The sad part of all this behavior is that seldom if ever does
everyone come out on top. Usually one or more people suffer deep,
long lasting wounds from this type of situation.
Some women are unable or unwilling to trust another man after being
with a Cakeman.
These men also suffer from this type of behavior. They never really
grow up and take their place in a responsible society. They fill
their lives with lies and deceit, which in the long run affect
their coping skills and their performance on a job.
Women are putting their lives on hold in hopes that their Cakeman
will finally leave their wife and make them the center of their
lives.
Finally, if children are involved, the destruction is unbelievable.
Counseling offices are filled with children who either caught their
father with another woman or had to live in a family where lying
was the major form of communication.
The best advise is to play your life honestly. If a relationship is
over, then bury it. If you are in a marriage and have met someone
else, think before you act.
The emotional stability you save might be your own!
womenwhocare posted on Dec 06, 2008
| views: 551
Comment on "Kenton Graber and why assholes like him cheat on their wives"
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Painfulmistake
posted 12 days ago
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im a total jerk!im a big loser..my husband cheated on me with 30 list of girls..i have no job and i am now a plain house wife..i was never a mangaer or hold a high position in a company that iv been working for almost 5years.i was never promoted or even... read entire post