• collared_whore's_Master said on Dec 06, 2008....

  I welcome you into the glorious world of bdsm and wish you all the best as you grow in the lifesyle. So, first things first, have you chosen roles, as in who is the dominant and who is the submissive? If so, great, if not, consider what you feel comes more naturally to you and go forward from there.
   
  In My opinion, you should learn as much as you can about the lifestyle through books (SM101 from Jay Wiseman is a good start), websites and organisations (Janus Society). Being educated and understanding the physical, sexual and emotional aspects of bdsm will help you not only grow but it will keep you safer, especially if you decide to indulge in high risk "edge play". I still try to learn something new and I've been active in the lifestyle for several years.
   
  Another thing to consider as a foundation on which to build upon would be your needs, wants & desires. Writing them down and discussing them openly & honestly will help guide you. From there you can mutually agree to things that you want to do and set limits to things you will not do, at least not in the early stages. A common bdsm phrase is safe, sane & consensual and I am one of its advocates. Doing something on a whim that has not been mutually agreed upon can have tragic consequences.
   
  On a more positive note, the key is that this is something that you both want. It could be the most incredible journey of your lives and it is something that you are doing as a couple. How wonderful is that? Enjoy each other, understand your roles and what each brings to the table.

• momofkandn said on Dec 06, 2008....

  cwm thank you for your information. We are looking for the book now lol. Please be on the look out for me cause I might be asking some more questions along these lines and from your cws post it seems like you would be a good one to ask. You both sound great! Thanks again.

• kitty_kat said on Dec 06, 2008....

  i totally agree with cwM (and by the way, it's nice to meet you Sir, i have read several of yours and your collared_whore's posts), this journey could be the most exciting and exhilarating thing that you do both as individuals and as a couple.
  
  The first thing is certainly to gather as much information as you can, there are a lot of emotions that you will both feel over your journey together, some of them could be a little negative as you settle into your new roles and lifestyle as a couple, and it is important to remember that above all else, you love each other as husband and wife and that was there before all else.
  
  There are some fabulous people on this site that are a part of the D/s / BDSM community and i think it's certainly wise to express your concerns, thoughts, feelings, etc as you have been, amongst a safe online group that mostly have 'been there' in whatever form. i have found that posting here, both under this and under my old screen name, the folk in the D/s community here have been nothing but utterly supportive and i have made some excellent friends.
   
  i would also suggest that you checked out fetlife (www.fetlife.com) which is like facebook for the BDSM / D/s / M/s lifestyle, again, lots of excellent forum posts there and some of us here are regulars on there as well, so you just have to do a search and add us to your friends list! There are a lot of great websites too such as D/s Seekers (www.seekers.org.uk) which is amongst the best for providing lots of information.   
   
  i truly wish you both the best of luck on such an incredible journey that you are about to undertake. Can't wait to read some of your first posts as you explore this together. Above all else.. play hard but play safe! cwM is sooooo right, SSC (safe, sane and consensual) needs to be at the forefront of all that you do.
   
  Be well
  kk
  x

• pusscat said on Dec 07, 2008....

  Hello again :-)  Thank you ever so much for your kind words on my post the other day.  The support I have had for my sister and I means such a lot to me.
  
  How wonderful that you are wishing to enter into the lifestyle together.  Many Doms and submissives discover their true nature when they are already within relationships and lives and their partners do not share their needs and desires.  That is so very hard.  Starting this journey as a loving couple must be marvellous :-)
  
  Seekers, that my good friend kitty_kat mentions is my favourite site.  I have lost count how many times i have given that link to newcomers on fetlife ha ha!  On fetlife, there is also a great icon within the BDSM scene.  His name is John Warren (profile is JohnWarren).  This man has been in the lifestyle for more than half of his adult life and he is now in his 60s.  Him and his sub, Libby, who eventually became his wife, wrote the book 'The Loving Dominant'.  This is a marvellous book to read for Dom and sub alike.  It is basically the 'Bible' of the D/s world for many.  I have conversed with him a few times and he loves to help people in the lifestyle.  Feel free to message him and ask him anything at all.  You will always get a great reply.
  
  Of course c_w_M is a great source of information and inspiration.  I actually learned so much from their posts myself when I first began this journey back in the Summer of 2007. 
  
  Good luck with everything.  I look forward to reading about your journey :-)
  
  pc
  

• momofkandn said on Dec 07, 2008....

  Kitty Kat Thanks for the links. We are going to check them out for sure. We are really looking forward to the chance to explore it together. Keep watching cause I am sure it will be a wild crazy fun ride and of course I want to let all my SC friends know all about it. PC I know you are going through a rough time right now and I am glad that you have some one in your life that you can lean on. You are a great sister. I know what its like to have to fight this disease and I wish you and your sister luck. I want to thank you as well for the time you took to comment and added suggestions. I feel like a kid in the candy store so much good stuff you don't know where to begin. I want to thank you all for the info I think that it will help so much.

• pusscat said on Dec 07, 2008....

  Thanks again my friend and yes, kid in a candy store is just how I felt LOL!

• collared_whore's_Master said on Dec 10, 2008....

  Kid in a candy store, delicious concept. Are Altoids considered candy? If so, there's an idea for some pain/pleasure play. I'll let you discover that for yourself.
   
  c_w & I look forward to reading your posts. btw, I have challenged c_w to begin writing again as it has been far too long since she enjoyed this website & its D/s community.
   
  To kk & pc, I am pleased by your kind words and knowing that I or W/we have helped or inspired you through O/our posts.

• pusscat said on Dec 10, 2008....

  c_w_M - you are most welcome Sir although it is I who would like to thank you for everything that you have tought me :)
  
  I SOOOO like forward to more posts from c_w, for learning and for pleasure ;-)
  

Comment on "So how does one do it?"

Currently tagged	BDSM fantasies life (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment