everything i believe in is a lie .. i feel so fake so phony so angry at the world for telling me all these false truths and then slowly but surely asserting with an evil laugh that hey this world is cruel it is injust and you jus can not do anything about that even if you want to .

Well fuck you world :) thats what i have to say

fuck all those people who messed me around. Fuck all those people who encouraged me to go to church all those years. God is not real there is no God how could i possibly be blind enough to believe in such bull shit ?

Santa is just as real as God. A bunch of people hopeful that such a nice pleasant thought is real in this stupid crul harsh ridiculous world. Well good for you people i hope that keeps you warm at night when i am sleeping with the true idea that really there is not much good in this world , and all good things end. It is so true ..

love there is no such thing as love .. sure maybe people get infatuated as for all the rest its jus sex and wishul thinking. Never thought i would turn out a cynic but i mean in this bull shit world .. you kind of have to be.

I give up on the disgrace we call the human race all people know how to do is disappoint. Yah you get the occassional person like me who does not make promises they cant keep then you get all those fuckin retards out there who say thigns and FUCK peoples lives up ust before finals .. thanks so much ..

I hate my fiance mother .. to me she is s stupid fat sack of shit. She is a selfish bitch who is stubborn and a smoker. which makes me sick. She is a fuckin ignorant slob who cant get off her fat ass to smoke outside even though her MAYBE future daughter in law is over in the corner turning green . HAPPY FUCKIN HOLIDAYS  you know the fact that i did not see my fiance in two months and would love some alone time.. does not matter to this fat cow cause the only thing she has on her mind is how ppoor pitiful her she did not get to see her son in SOOO long well get the fuck over it bitch your not the one who sleeps with him or loves him you have your own husband why do you need to ruin everyone elses life. She is a meddling no good fuckin selfish bitch and i guess that is where her son learned, from the best not to care about anyones best interest only his own. So fuck you army fuck you fat ugly useless pot smokin mother in law fuck you bull shit religion and school thats stressing me out. O and a REALLY big fuck you to the fact that other people cant be as nice as i am and try for once to make someones life a little bit easier, yes a big big fuck you to that :) !

  well i am feeling slightly better .. i am beginning to think that .. i do not know he is not worth it. There are guys here that i could be with every day and not have this stress over not have all the obstacles i do with school over and they woudl love me and love my home and not have to go home to suck at their mothers tit on ever special occasion while neglecting the fact that they have a fiance at all. Well fuck you fat mother i get him the rest of my life if i put up with your fat ugly stubborn ways now and you will be shit .. i do not even think i woudl let her see children if we ever have them . cause she is a bad mean ugly hateful person and does not deserve anything nice in her life. anyway back to other guys who are here .. if he were nice to me and willing to go anywhere to be with me and come home whenever he coudl MAYBE he woudl be wroth waiting on but he isnt. so fuck him i wish i coudl ust get over him and be with someone else who treated me good. anyone else really . sigh* well now that venting is over i shall return to the cruel stupid harsh world of pharmacology and now probably failing cus i have all this bull shit on my mind. Stupid that i am so pessimistic but hey the truth hurts i guess ..