You know, if theres a word that gets bandied about a lot..its "Friend". If you are a child of the 80s, then youve probably heard the Whodini song about friends. But what is at the heart of friends and friendship?

When we are young, we are taught that a friend is someone we can go play with when we are allowed to go outside after homework and chores. Then as we get abit older, its the person whose house we stay the night at, and grumble about parents and members of the opposite sex.

Later, its the ones who we sneak out and go to parties with. Getting into trouble, and general chaos. Then its the ones we go on roadtrips with, and get tattoos and do stupid drunken things. Then we make those friends who we grow old with, consider aunts and uncles to our children.

Sounds nice doesnt it? It would be nice if it always ended up like that. Instead, a lot of times you have those who are fairweather friends, only your friend when it suits them, or you can serve a purpose. Then you have the ones who are just your friend because you are amusement, they get joy in your failures and pain.

Then you have the ones who are one sided. They are only your friend when they need a shoulder to cry on. But where are they when you need a return shoulder? Nowhere. Or they look at you vapidly as though you are speaking swahili. Paints a dismal picture doesnt it?

Well, it shouldnt. Once in a while, among the mire of those other friends you find yourself a true friend. How can you tell a true friend? Well, a true friend will sit up with you all night long if need be. They will defend you against stupid people. They will make you laugh so hard you cry and almost pee yourself.

They will give you a standing invite to wherever they are. They will let you borrow money and not worry about not being paid back. They will feed you when your stomach rumbles, and shove something to drink into your hands if you need it. They will tell you where the bathroom is, and wont escort you. They will say "My house is your house" and genuinely mean it.

They will invite you on trips, drives and everything else. THAT is a true friend. They are the ones who will tell other people to mind their own when they try to intervene in your life in a negative way. They will not think twice about telling someone where they are wrong about you. And they will ignore all the gossip that comes their way.

So when you are down, and your so called friends are proving not to be friends...just reflect over what ive typed about what a true friend is. I bet you will find you have a few.

-M-