• onlymimi said on Dec 04, 2008....

  Like you, I am very conscious of being disrespectful, so when I have an issue that is very important to me, I will say something like, 'I need to be completely honest about this, and I mean no disrespect...'  There are ways to express yourself honestly without being disrespectful.  My Master expects honesty -- about everything.  I don't think it's disrespectful, or unreasonable to ask for more notice than three hours.  Maybe agree on a set time every day when you will be online in case he e-mails you, or maybe let him know if you'll be away from your computer for a period of time.  Communicating online does have its drawbacks, doesn't it?  :)
   
  I'll have to check but I'm pretty sure I PMed you about Jane Eyre.  I finally got my hands on a copy of it.  I'll let you know when I get it finished.

• kitty_kat said on Dec 05, 2008....

  i'm really glad your Master liked your presents for His birthday, it sounds like you put so much effort in for Him, even down to choosing a porn video that you haven't given Him yet ;)
  We all get a little upset with those we love at times, and the hardest part in a D/s relationship is not utterly sounding off about it there and then because we know that behaviour is totally inappropriate and we would be upset and disappointed with ourselves, let alone the punishment that usually ensues. You seem to be able to communicate well to your Master and i think that you will find a way to approach Him without ever sounding disrespectful.
   
  onlymimi: online communication does indeed have it's drawbacks, but sometimes i think it also allows us to communicate more openly because we do not have a pair of disappointed eyes to look in to.

• submissivepet101 said on Dec 05, 2008....

  LOL, kitty, you're right about the online communication! Sometimes i can say more on the computer!
  i wrote in my journal about it and now i'm afraid i came across rude because i was kind of pissed with Master. He's lucky, if this were a vanilla relationship He would be in trouble! LOL just kidding, but usually people who upset me don't get off so easily! But He is my Master, so He definitely deserves different treatment!
  mimi- enjoy Jane Eyre! Yes, i got your PM and i'm glad i inspired you! i can't remember if i wrote back to you, though... Sorry if i forgot! xo subpet

• T's_Pet said on Dec 05, 2008....

  Subpet:
   
  Oh, I can relate on SOOOO many levels to your post.  Isn't it fun - planning what to get Him?  I loved your post - telling how you felt picking it out and both gifts sound perfect. We just went through the b-day thing - it's still a sore spot for me but maybe if i share it here, then i can move on.  T's b-day is in late Oct - last year we had just met and He didn't even mention it until it was over - well, come to think of it - He did contact me that day to see me and I couldn't get away but I know I would have if I had known it was His b-day (we were not D/s at the time).  Anyway, my b-day is in late Nov so last year, He spent several hours with me, pleasing me, and me Him.  In Dec, we said Merry X-mas to each other after a great hotel outing and exchanged online kinky cards on V's day.  That is the extent of our gift-giving.  This year, though - I wanted to give Him something.  My choices seemed limited though by the fact that He would have to explain anything to his wife who is extremely suspicious of Him at all times.  I finally settled on a sports cap - for the hockey team He likes but when i went shopping was unable to find it and ended up with a cap of the football team He likes (i actually think *I* am more into these sports than He is).  I gave it to Him when we saw each other on His b-day.  He was pretty neutral at the time, said thanks - that was about it.  Later on IM said thanks for everything . . . i didn't know how He would react on my b-day but i was hopeful.  i didn't give Him something SO He would give me something I mean, that wasn't the reason for my gift   - but basically (i am giving Him SOOOOO much slack here) due to the fact that He had to travel for thxgiving with His family/extended family - my b-day was forgotten. Like not even an acknowledgement, although it did actually fall on thxgiving this year so he was not able to IM due to his travels.   It didn't feel good - I will just say that.  He is very polite usually so it's surprising when He is less than socially appropriate and i guess my feelings were a little hurt.  It would help me if you ALL just told me it was ok and that i should forget it - it's just hard to put yourself out there, you know?
   
  Ok - sorry for that (longer than YOUR post!).  T and i also have an issue where He is not the best at giving me notice.  Of course we reinforce that behavior, don't we?  By always being available.  There have been very few times when i said i could not meet Him  - He calls and i cum.  But i would give up, change, or reschedule nearly anything for Him and He is only free during the day and i have an extremely flexible schedule at my job and the freedom to go to Him.  Lately though, there have been times when i was told we would TRY to get together following a meeting He has each week and twice in the past month, He was unable to do so.  Both of those times, (once the day before my b-day when He was leaving and i desperately wanted to see Him before He left town) - He did not even really bother to let me know He could not get away.  The first time, He had forgotten His phone - the second time a bunch of work and family things converged on Him all at once.  Both times though - i HAD to say something to Him.  I was respectful but told Him that it bothered me, hurt me and He did apologize and was ever so much better this week.
  SORRY for the novel - T's_Pet

• MoonLiteRide said on Dec 05, 2008....

  subpet, one possible way to handle this in future.  If you are deviating at all from what he might expect (which appears to be in this case checking your computer regularly for emails) then send him an email saying what you're up to and that you're likely to be out of touch by certain means (in this case again, email) and for roughly how long.  That way he's aware of what is happening before he sends his request out. 
   
  In general it's often possible to set up bounds so he'll know when you're reachable by specific means.  You may only be checking your email certain hours.  Your phone may be available all the time on the other hand.  See if you can get him to set up a generic schedule with availability times that are acceptable.  And as noted above, if you are unable to maintain that on a specific day if you let him know beforehand it can make things easier for both.
   

• cuppajava said on Dec 05, 2008....

  Hi - Surprised??? I thoroughly agree with MLR - I mean 3 hours notice is a bit short,even if i say so myself.There ARE other forms of communication besides email.Try and plan the week out,so that it allows for an unexpected requests,so as to give you time to prepare.Also,it is an idea to either mail,or text him and let him know if you are deviating from a pattern.
  Hope your cold feels better - let me guess - a eurpoean winter?
  

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