I know that there is no point in dating even if the opportunity were to arise.  You can't expect to change a man.  They damn sure can't expect to change me at this point.  I feel comfortable as a single woman.  I also made a promise to God that my last ex-fiance would be the last person that I had sex with.  It's been since 2004 that I haven't had sex.  I'm doing good considering that used to be my biggest weakness at one point in my life.  I'm trying to be a better person than what I used to be, at least spiritually.  I have weaknesses though.  I get pissed off when people pick on me.  This causes urges to throw bad spells at them.  I don't do it, but I sure do vent that I want to.  It's been a long 10 years since I threw a bad spell at anyone, at least one that was real harmful.  I know that the fucker deserved it too.  Unfortunately, I think that I have been getting punished for it.  I don't quite understand why.  People deserve to be punished for doing bad things to innocent people, not those that have sodomized them against their will, or anything else that he put me through.  Oh well.  If I haven't been getting punished for that, what is with all of the damn voices and negativity that I have had no choice but to endure thus far?  Why do I have to be stuck with schizophrenia on top of all the beatings and ridicule that I took from peers while growing up?  That sucks!!!  Anyway, I'm off track and ranting.  I will say one thing though.  Men are no good for me.  I believe this.  They used to be all that I wanted.  Now I am scared to death to ever get involved with another one.