• pusscat said on Dec 03, 2008....

  Well it sounds to me like you have the right to be down.  No matter how much we do everything in our power to stay positive there will always be times when we just can't do it.  I understand perfectly about the cat.  They are cute and lovable, they rely totally on us for food and protection which can give us a real sense of purpose and you just lost that little cutie.
  
  Your mind has also been taken off your breakup for a while.  You had something/someone to look forward to and concentrate on.  Now you find you realise this person is not for you.  That is a double blow really.
  
  Don't beat yourself up about feeling down.  For us who suffer continually with depression there will always be those 'lost' periods.  I'm glad you had the good cry though.  It really does me bloody good sometimes - it's a kind of release for me.  You know what I do sometimes?  If I know I feel really maudlin I stop trying to fight it.  I will actually watch a sad film just to have a blubber and release it all.  Honest!
  
  Whether you are pesimistic or not, it really doesn't help being told the obvious does it?  They might as well go the whole hog and tell you to 'pull yourself together' LOL!
  
  I don't know if you take meds at all as I do but, if you find this mood continuing longer than normal, do you feel comfortable talking with your dontor about it?  If you are in Europe or the States it's the middle of our winter now too isn't it?  I mean, I struggle with winter anyway.  The slightest thing can put me on a downward spiral.  I have found that my lightbox, 45 minutes every morning has been a godsend.  In summer, even on an overcast day, we get something like 100,000 flux of sunlight.  Even on a sunny day in winter, it is only a few thousand.  No wonder our energy and 'happy' levels sink too.  IT is more than 'winter blues' for me.
  
  To be honest, if you were my friend, I'd be rather proud of the way you have been doing so much to keep yourself on track.  I mean, people without depression come up with every excuse under teh sun not to exercise or eat healthily and you have been doing both!  Good for you.
  
  Have a chat with your doctor if you can.  I find I have to up my mood swing medication in winter (Depakote) from one a day to one on one day, two the next and so on.  Good luck.
  
  pusscat
  

• motherofchicken said on Dec 03, 2008....

  pusscat! Thank you for all your kind words - you are so kind, it's a ray of sunshine (metaphorically and literally :) in my day to just have this pat on the shoulders and a kind word so as not to beat myself over all this stuff continuously...
  
  I totally do that too sometimes, just give up and wallow for a bit in a sad mood, listen to my sad songs or watch a teary movie....glad it helps you too! and to know it does help others...
  
  I am in Canada, and on the rainy Westcoast at that so definitely the gloom and grey and perpetual rain do get to me - thank you so much for reminding me about the Light Box....I had considered getting one last year, and I think maybe i'll do it for real this year! Good to know it helps!
  
  And as far as meds, I have been resisting...dunno, maybe waiting for my situation to get dire enough for me to consider it, but sometimes I get scared thinking how dire I'd let it get to before I take action...I do try to use exercise now as an alternative to meds, but you are so right - I should have a chat with my doctor and see what she thinks - she is good about antidepressents but not pushing them either, so I think she'll give me good advice...
  
  again, thank you - your post really warmed my day :)
  

• pusscat said on Dec 03, 2008....

  Funny enough, reading your reply to me has really made my day too :-))
  
  I am glad I was able to help a little.  I know that a lot of people don't like taking meds.  I think the key is to always tell the doctor if you are not at all happy with any side effects.  They can try many before they get the right one as with me but, a few months of getting it right compared to years without them?  No contect LOL!  When you think about it, if we get a headache we may take a pain killer, when we get toothache, we may go and have a cavity filled, if we have diabetes we may have to take insulin.  Well the mind can get poorly too so it also needs a little help to get back straight again.   Good luck with everything.
  
  i have to say and meant to say ages ago - I LOVE your profile name :-)
  

• motherofchicken said on Dec 04, 2008....

  Thanks pusscat, and thanks for the encouragement! You are right about meds, and really, I both understand it's like fixing any other ol' ache in the body, but am also scared of reliance/side effects, etc....But I think I have a reasonable attitude about them, so if need be, I imagine I'd have that chat with my doctor and explore that...
  
  Good luck to you too and take care of yourself! :) Glad you like my screen name :)
  

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