I've never been a 'phone' person. Phones are for messages. I watch young people now days who all seem to be permanently glued to a phone and wonder what they could possibly be saying all day and all night. They text message and talk constantly.
When I was growing up, we only had land lines and our conversations lasted at least one minute - sometimes. Phones were to arrange something. No one (boys) wanted to waste their time gabbing on a phone. Talking to a girlfriend was a bit different, though. You couldn't have a one minute conversation with a girlfriend.
When I was working, there could be dozens of calls I'd have to make in one day. I had to call people all over the state of Texas. My call started like this - "Hi, (whoever), I need.....", and some would say "And how are you this morning Mr. Beyond?', making the point I didn't want to politely ask about their condition, so I would talk about their condition. I wasn't being impolite, I was in the field and time was of the essence. Also, customers weren't too crazy about you gabbing with someone while they were paying 50 bucks an hour. I could have been more concerned about their well being, but many people won't have a short conversation and you get stuck.
I had many conversations with people at work about personal things, but the setting was right.
Getting stuck is another thing. My wife is very busy at work and gets calls throughout the day. Many times I've watched her talk to people taking care of business and then can't get away from that person. Minutes pass, she's rolling her eyes and being nice about it. We rarely have dinner together that no one calls from work and she got off an hour or more ago. There are time differences, but callers know that.
I wasn't ever an impolite person at work, I was a focused person and my time was someone else's money. I hear more complaints from people today about a service person gabbing on the phone using their time and money more than anything else. This last Sunday, we waited in a line with others for minutes while the checker arranged a party with a friend. What the hell is this?
Phone politeness extends much farther than people realize.
It extends into other's lives. If I, or anyone else is driving 65 mph on a busy freeway and you let them know that - after they ask - they should make it quick, but most don't.
Phones have captured too much of every day life. Since they have become an extension of our body, politeness is ever more important.
Why don't people realize that?
Ok. I'm done.
beyondtheveil posted on Dec 02, 2008
| views: 121
Comments
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mobil said on Dec 02, 2008....
Sounds like a bit of a rant to me Beyond haha. I don't use the phone much, when I had my business it became tiresome. My wife has a cell phone, I opted out on that and I seldom use the other phone.I can tell you this, if I'd have been in line and that woman was arranging her party on my time. The whole fucking store would have heard me telling her my thoughts about her behavior...........great rant though....... -
Twylarants said on Dec 02, 2008....
Ooh, a rant! I love it! My pet peeve is phone callers not identifying themselves. Like when someone from my husband's office calls and says, "Is Bug there?" as soon as I say hello. How long does it take to say, "Hi, Mrs. Rants, is Bug there?"
It's just common courtesy, but I guess I'm expecting too much. -
GrapeKoolaid said on Dec 02, 2008....
But... I need it!! (Though I'm no young whippersnapper)
I understand what you mean. Though I would say that general etiquette and proper behavior is all lost, not just phone manners. Table manners, proper public behavior, maintaining yourself with a bit of decorum... It all went out the window(sometime in the 80's, I think... I blame Michael J. Fox and his hip, care-free attitude in "Back to the Future" series. Or perhaps Kevin Bacon in "Footloose".. Or was it Richard Dean Anderson's (better known as MacGuyver) mullet?).
But being in a long-distance relationship, I rely on these means of communications more and more. Not just the phone, but text messages, chats, webcams, etc... Anything I can get my hands on to sublimate the lack of physical presence. The trouble is, no matter how many layers I add, it still isn't quite enough, you see? Not even close.
I'm still not a big talker on the phone. When I'm talking with my friends or family, the conversation generally lasts about 90 seconds.
But with my lady on the other hand, I can talk to her until the sun comes up. I can listen to her for hours and still not be enough.
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uniquely-ironic said on Dec 02, 2008....
I have to say I have been a little surprised by someone being unneccesarily abrupt with me on the phone. Of course I'd rather that than a "chatty cathy". There has to be some middle of the road solution.I have not gotten a hands free headset for my cell, partly on purpose. It's the perfect excuse to not talk to someone when I'm driving. I also will let my phone go to voicemail if I'm eating or otherwise occupied unless it's from family.I think people need to learn to manage their availability where phones are concerned. -
beyondtheveil said on Dec 02, 2008....
mobil- That girl deserved to have you in the line, but alas, I have to watch myself. My wife really, really doesn't like for me to do that. I usually can't help myself at auto dealerships, though. My gloves come off there and she knows it. She still talks about the last time we were at a dealership and it was almost two years ago.
twyla- I have your last line come up often. People accuse me of expecting too much. Really? I still don't understand that. You must expect certain things, don't you think?
grape- Proper behavior has slipped everywhere, another of my pet teeves being the way people dress (I did a post on that). But wait a minute. When in love, the kind that turns you into a dreamy-ass (I've been there), you are excused. When I met my wife and my insides turned to jelly, people excused me of a lot of things.
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beyondtheveil said on Dec 02, 2008....
unique- I wish my wife would turn off her phone when she leaves work, but won't do it, too dedicated. She answers the phone while driving also. When they make it a law here about cell phones and driving, she'll have to get a headset. -
Lucytorial said on Dec 02, 2008....
Beyond ~ at work the phone is our business... you get everyone from natives who speak pidgeon english to swots, all of them talking inscesant shit.I'm very polite but usually stop them mid conversation of crap and say "thank you for your call, I must answer another have a plesant day" If that doesn't work I ask to put them on hold while I take a call and put it on hold.. by the time I come back to them they realise I can't talk shit and have hung up! that ones the sneaky one, works every time.
At home my cut off time for answering the phone is 830pm.... I screan calls cause hubbies clients tend to want to call all hours of the god damn night and day... they know we won't answer it but they still call... we don't return their call until the next day. See that is what I think is completely rude, invading our private time, if its business stick to business hours fuckers... as for my mobile? I don't hand the number out to many people at all... can't stand mobiles. -
beyondtheveil said on Dec 02, 2008....
lucy- Phone work at a business has many problems that arise. People here have told me about it and language is a problem too. Calling after hours is ok, so long as they expect to talk to answering services. An answering machine would take care of that wouldn't it?
The problem my wife has is that their name appears on the phone and they expect her to answer. And unfortunately, she does. I think you handle it well at work, you just can't talk to someone all day.
I don't particularly like cells either, by the way.
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Hegemone said on Dec 02, 2008....
Beyond, well put, first of all. I am not a big fan of great long phone conversations. Since now cell phones are the primary tools for this, it's just too iffy. Calls can get dropped, you can break up, the other person can break up, the battery might die, etc. I just get frustrated so I don't like talking much beyond setting plans, or calling to say 'Hey, want to come over?' My friend and I once had about a 45 second long phone conversation in which we planned a whole day and a half's worth of events to the T. I'm still proud of that one. I just included some pet peeves in one of my last blogs, two of which were about phones. The people, as already mentioned, that just will not shut up and get off the phone and then here's the shit kicker ... people who do not say goodbye, for no good reason ... they finish their thought and before you can respond, they're gone. If you're going to be so dependent on running your mouth on the phone ... AT LEAST be polite about it!
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Twylarants said on Dec 03, 2008....
Beyond~ I'm always shocked by rudeness. I did a rant about it once, called "My Poker Face." My reaction to a rude comment shows on my face immediately, and my reply often tumbles out of my mouth just as quickly. My husband has said it's not my job to teach manners to the whole world. Well, I'm sorry, but it is. Don't be rude to me, it's as simple as that. Swallow your words and you won't get your feelings hurt. -
queenparanoia said on Dec 03, 2008....
being in call center industry... dude i understand what you mean... really...
why don't people realize that???
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CreativeWoman said on Dec 03, 2008....
I understand what you mean. I really hate when I see someone texting while driving. That's just unsafe.
I use my cell phone a lot. All calls to my family are long distance so it's very handy for that. I find myself texting a lot. My nephew is almost 16 and that seems to be his favorite form of communication.
Manners never go out of style, but some people are simply lost on that.
CW
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beyondtheveil said on Dec 03, 2008....
hege- People who don't say goodbye? Talk about being stranded. Now that's a new one on me. I might call that person, ask a question, then hang up. And by the way, we used to plan quite a lot in less than a minute, it can be done.
twyla- I think you should tell your husband if we don't teach them, who will? There is no excuse for rudeness. Good for you.
queenie- Its a good question that no one can answer. I've never been rude to call center people. Perturbed a few times, but not rude.
CW- Speaking of unsafe, I've noticed more and more cities are outlawing cell talking in cars. It hasn't happened here, so when it does I guess I won't answer. I'm just not going to get one of those headsets. I've never done a text message, wouldn't even know how.