"Time to get up. Now. Will you get up?!!! Get off me you heavy turd!"
"Get off of my bed. Now. I mean it. Don't make me come over there!"
"Would you stop stepping into my pant legs?!! Get away from me until I'm done dressing."
"Will you stop licking me?! I have no idea where your mom keeps your food. Just drink your water and we'll ask the daycare lady to get you a snack"
"Did you just fart? Thanks a lot! Don't you even think of doing that in my car."
"Not the front seat! Big girls get the front seat, you sit in the back until I know you'll behave"
"Would you just stand still while I untangle your leash? You've got me tied up and I'll fall on you if you don't behave!"
I had all of these conversations with Molly, my roommates black lab/german short hair this morning before 7:30 am. Because M had to get to work early I was asked to drop Molly off at doggie daycare on my way to work. M also doesn't have a coffee maker (I don't know how that's possible) so I did it before coffee.
I may have to pop a cap in that dog's ass.
