why do i feel abandoned, when i need you the most

why do i feel that when i am at my lowest, you go

why do i feel i have to help you help me when i am at my most helpless condition

the most difficult thing to do is write you these words... it feels more like resignation, than reaching out

i wish you would be there without me crying for help... how many times, does one have to say, i feel bad and hurting for it to be tiring...

i feel like being drowned in the swamp, i cannot scream for i will suffocate, and disappear forever; i hold my hand up high, struggling to signal for help, with your back turned towards me...