(the tube is the underground metro train system for those of you outside the UK)
- grannies...in skirts...opposite you.
- burberry
- hip hop
- too much facial hair...on women
- gormless dudes hanging over you with slippery gloves on, holding hot coffee
- women over 40(all of 'em) :P
- B.O.
- children (all of 'em) :P
- people who insist on encroaching on my 'virtual space' - ie legs outstretched past the invisible line where my seat ends. Anyway, why do you want to rub knees with me so much? It's never cute women either, always sweaty old dudes and young men with very arched backs and who wear lots of polyester.
Actually, why don't they bring back classes in trains. I'd be willing to pay an extra two quid to share my carriage with people who are a bit less 'tarded. Wouldn't you?
mrhowto posted on Aug 22, 2006
| views: 886
Comments
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truthblogs said on Aug 22, 2006....
- people who smell
- people who hang over you picking nose - i don't know if they think they are invisible, or are just to damn wankerish to care.
- women in full arabic dress - im sure they're lovely, but what's the point if we cant gawk at em hehee ;)
- blondes...with wedding rings...and too many clothes on
hmmm should i stop now..think im getting a bit carried away LOL
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mrhowto said on Aug 22, 2006....
lol...very very lol
more? ;)
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bandanna said on Aug 22, 2006....
They should have a carridge just for shagging lol.
- I once straddled a guy's leg on a packed out train, he didn't complain, but looked quite 'uncomfortable'. still was good while it lasted though.
- ugly people should have their own carridges.
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londontemptress said on Aug 22, 2006....
- dogs shouldn't be allowed on trains
- neither should northerners ;P
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mrhowto said on Aug 22, 2006....
Shall forward all these great ideas onto the transport minister ;)
more more more! :))
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ALIENated said on Aug 22, 2006....
Long ago, I met my wife's office group at a bar after
work. One of the otherwise uptight ladies got a little
tipsy and sat on my knee a little too long. I think it
was good for her and I did not complain, either.
Anyway. Grannies in skirts and women over 40? Dude,
you will eat those words someday when you discover
what they have to offer.
Being ALIENated, I hate crowds, so my list could go on
and on.
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paidinblood said on Aug 22, 2006....
ALIENated: I'm not so sure about the grannies. Yeah, I'll pass on the grannies anytime.
How about grannies opposite you in skirts with their "books left open"? Oh my, I'm going to have nightmares for weeks!
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mrhowto said on Aug 22, 2006....
lol "books left open" - that is soooooo wrong on every different level. :P
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isabel said on Aug 22, 2006....
Last weak a black dude sat next to me and he farted every second. I was tryna read but I couldn't concentrate.My mind was like: MINDA DA GAP- FART- MIND DA GAP- FART- THIS IS BOND STREET-FART- MIND DA GAP.
Crazy.
I couldn't believe!!! I had to sit next to a granny but at least she didn't smell.
And when they keep staring at you?!!That's annoying!!!
I'm also tired of seeing girls with ballerina shoes. What's that?!
But sandals terrorise me!!! Seeing toes is disgusting.Especcially when the nails go from London to China and are all dirty.
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
I take offense to the 'women over 40' comment.
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paidinblood said on Aug 22, 2006....
And it thought grannies with "books left open" were wrong... sitting next to the FART-omatic is much more interesting!
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paidinblood said on Aug 22, 2006....
secretlife: I concur. I have to admit having my mother on the same train does not bother me. There's nothing wrong with women over 40 unless something IS really wrong. Doing my best to be circumspect.
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 22, 2006....
and people who don't give their seats to 8month pregnant women or elderly people. I'm on the same boat as ALIEN, I like to be alone.
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mrhowto said on Aug 22, 2006....
isabel - damn!
secretlife - you're exempt, am sure you're lovely. ;)
paidinblood - yeah guffing it is bad, especially when you're on an end seat and there's someone with windies standing right by the end seat and their arse is about 30cm away from you. ughhhh.
marie-jane - true, that's awful. I try and keep my head down or eyes shut when I see one coming, otherwise people always expect ME to give up my seat. What on earth are elderly people and 8 month preg people doing on the train in the first place lol...only kidding(recieves slap) :P
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 22, 2006....
HAHAHA Mr!
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anonymous said on Aug 22, 2006....
I like to stare at men while their eyes contemplate The Sun's page 3.
They don't give a s*** if you stare. They're so occupied.
Oh, but we're suppose to say what we don't like and what shouldn't happen.
ok. I "run" when I see big rucksacks carried by suspicious people.
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JadeLondon said on Aug 22, 2006....
Oh, dude! I started cracking up when I began reading. What you say is funny, yes, but the irony of the situation is what made me laugh...
When you said, 'Tube', I thought you meant the television. I was going to regal you with a tale of my grandmother and the evening news. It involves a catfish and a human scalp (minus the human, of course). Pity.
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 22, 2006....
jade: start the post baby!
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paidinblood said on Aug 22, 2006....
I've been reading this post over and over again and still can't believe the sheer comedy of it all. Great laughs mrhowto!
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suejeff said on Aug 22, 2006....
Men who make these kinds of remarks about women over 40 other than in jest.
Having my nose pressed on someone's dandruff in the rush hour. I know the tube well.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 22, 2006....
Can I ride the tube? I'm 41.
Men who use the crowded space as an opportunity to cop a feel.
CW
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JadeLondon said on Aug 22, 2006....
Marie-Jane: I'll think about it. Tee-hee!
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chingform said on Aug 22, 2006....
i am 35 meaning for another 5 years i cannot ride the tube then .
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GMNIMan said on Aug 23, 2006....
A little kid who suddenly and loudly said...
"Mum, that man is having a hardon!"
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 23, 2006....
If you have a hard on in the metro you have a problem!
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mrhowto said on Aug 23, 2006....
It's wierd, i've been travelling on it for around 7 years now, and have noticed that if I get on it before 7:30am, there are almost no women on there and all the ones on there are pretty damn rough lol. However, get on there 15 mins later and it all changes, it's swamped with absolute angelic heavenly dames. Has anyone else noticed this pattern? What does it all mean?
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 23, 2006....
They come from different regions, in Montreal you can tell wich metro station you're at by how people look. (ex: poor neighbourhoods)
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00purple666 said on Aug 23, 2006....
Some people from "richer" areas can be just as rough looking as those from poorer areas and just because someone is from a poorer area doesn't not mean they all let themselves go! One thing that does annoy me on the tube is sweaty drunken men leering down womens tops eughh!
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rockyracoon said on Aug 25, 2006....
grannies in skirts?! Bring 'em on anytime!! :)
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paidinblood said on Aug 26, 2006....
rockyracoon,
seriously, you want to watch grannies in skirts with their books open???!! I reread this for some days now and it still gives me the creeps.
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Lovethebeach said on Aug 28, 2006....
I happen to be a very attractive woman who is 40... I take offense to the women over 40 line!
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anonymous said on Aug 31, 2006....
I am a lady over 40. Has it occured to you that I've probably had more sex than you by a mile and therefore am definately better at it than you will ever be. Were you never a child, did you never have b.o. make up the rest yourself.
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anonymous said on Aug 31, 2006....
Has it occured to you that many people would rather you were banned from the tube.
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 31, 2006....
If you're so opinionated why are you anonymous?
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anonymous said on Aug 31, 2006....
oh my god!!! ladies, please!!!! don't argue about who's the best stretching da punani.
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