A blonde goes to heaven and is told by St. Peter she must pass a test to get in, but its an easy test. She is very nervous, but says she'll take it.
St. Peter asks 'Who was God's son?'
She smiles big and says "Andy."
He says "Why did you answer Andy?"
She sings to him, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me..."
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Did you hear about the blonde couple who froze to death at a drive in theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter"
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What are the worst six years of a blonde's life?
Third grade.
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What will a blonde say if you ask if her blinker is working?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
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Why don't blondes use vibrators?
It chips their teeth.
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What do you call a blonde found in a closet?
The 1984 Hide and Seek champion.
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A state trooper sees a blonde knitting driving down an interstate. He pulls along side of her and hollers "Pull Over!!"
She hollers back, "No. Scarf."
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A blonde was taking her kids to Disneyland and saw a sign that said DISNEYLAND LEFT. She turned around and went home.
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A brunette hollers at a blonde and says "How do I get on the other side of the river?"
The blonde looks up and down and hollers back, "You're on the other side".
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A blonde was getting really tired about hearing all the blonde jokes. So she found a book on geography and studied for six months. After feeling comfortable about trying out her new found knowledge, she went to a bar with men from work. One of the men started to tell a blonde joke and she stopped him saying,
"I'm sick of the blonde jokes and I'll prove blondes are smart as anyone. Go ahead, ask me to name the capital of any state."
One of the men said, "Ok, Arizona."
She thought hard for a moment, her eyes lit up, and she said "A".
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
beyondtheveil posted on Nov 26, 2008
| views: 345
Comments
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Lucytorial said on Nov 26, 2008....
spent the last 20 minutes on the phone relating these to my BLONDE sister... she wrote them ALL down but it took her a few minutes to get the 1984 hide and seek champion.. bwaa ha ha ha ha ha haa -
CayenneMan said on Nov 26, 2008....
You son of a gun you . . .! You are gonna get me in trouble ;0) why did you have to pick blonde jokes ? When ever I recieve information like this ( be it a joke or not ) I have the tendency to pass the information along at the most inappropriate times. That's probably why I never gain weight . . . I'm always being chased around by a great looking blonde with a frying pan in her hand . . . but I must admit she is always smiling ! Funny stuff beyondtheveil, thanks for the post., I hope you and yours have a safe and happy Thanksgiving Day.
Wow beyondtheveil . . . it just dawned on me . . .you don't suppose they'll change the term "black friday to white friday" do ya ? Nah ;0)
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Me-Myself&I said on Nov 26, 2008....
huh....*smile* when i was driving a dump-bucket, hauling coal back in the late 80s....the rednecks did not like me at all. this little lady doing a mans job just as fine as them..... *smile* just had to throw that in it make it perfectly clear!anywaysssss i heard hundreds of those jokes. ha ha ha ;~) but there was this nice man who printed off sheets of blond jokes, so when the next joke came flying out of my cb.... i knew the answers!Happy Thanksgiving! -
fragglesrock said on Nov 26, 2008....
thanks for the giggles :) -
mobil said on Nov 26, 2008....
Great jokes Beyond.A pretty blonde is pulled over by a cop, he walks up to her window and unzips his zipper. She says; Oh no, not the breathalyzer test AGAIN ! -
Me-Myself&I said on Nov 26, 2008....
LOL - - Mobil -
uniquely-ironic said on Nov 26, 2008....
Can I add my favorite one?How do you drown a blonde?You throw a scratch and sniff into the bottom of the pool. -
Lucytorial said on Nov 26, 2008....
A blonde goes to the hairdressers, but the stylist is having trouble cutting her hair due to the blondes headphones... she tries to cut around them and gets annoyed... she whips them off and no sooner than she does the blonde drops dead!The stylist picks up the headphones and listens....Breath inBreath outbreath inbreath out -
beyondtheveil said on Nov 26, 2008....
A blonde working at a Taco Bell was asked to put minimal lettuce on tacos. She said she couldn't, they only had iceberg.
What do you call seven blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do blondes smile during lightening storms?
They think they're picture is being taken.
How do you define an eternity?
Four blondes at a four way stop.
Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
They forget the recipe.
A blonde got an AM radio as a gift. It took her a month to figure out she could listen to it at night.
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Lioness said on Nov 26, 2008....
***Laughing***.
Thanks beyond. :D -
travelr712 said on Nov 26, 2008....
why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? cause that's where you wash vegitables!what do you call 5 blondes lying on top of each other? an air matresswhat do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? a wind tunnel. -
queenparanoia said on Nov 26, 2008....
lol... you guys are gonna get in trouble... so many blondes in soulcast!!! lol... ;-) -
beyondtheveil said on Nov 27, 2008....
queenie- How many soulcast blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
.....uh...maybe I'd best not tell...
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Lucytorial said on Nov 27, 2008....
maybe best not at all..... te he hehehehe
why is it there are no good brunette jokes though?? come on Beyond can't you find one good oen?? I'm sick of blondes getting all the attention (LOL)
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beyondtheveil said on Nov 28, 2008....
Just for lucy-
Why do brunettes like their hair color?
It doesn't show dirt.
What is black, blue, and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.
What is a brunette's mating call?
Have the blondes left yet?
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair color?
It matches their mustache.
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blonde_kathy said on Jun 16, 2009....
...a redhead, a brunette and a blonde are running trying to escape the police after holding up a liquor store. They turn down an alley only to find a dead end with no time to get back out. The redhead spots a pile of burlap sacks near a dumpster. "Quick! Hide in those." As soon as they do, a policeman shows up. He thought he saw them head down this alleyway. Noticing the three filled burlap sacks, he nudges the first with his foot. "Meowww." says the redhead. The cop mutters, "just stray cats." He nudges the next, "grrrrrrr" growls the brunette. Stray dogs he thinks. Finally nudging the third, "Potatoes." -
beyondtheveil said on Jun 20, 2009....
Hahahahahahaha - too good. -
blonde_kathy said on Jun 22, 2009....
A blonde walks into a car parts store wearing a pout on her cute face. The clerk says, "May I help you Miss?" She answers, "Yes, my boyfriend sent me here because something fell off my engine." The clerk asks, "Do you know what it was?" She said, "I think it's called a 710." "710?" The clerk looks puzzled. "I'm not sure I've heard of that, what kind of car do you have?" "Red." Answering quickly, obviously pleased with herself. "I, well uh, I'd really like to help you but, that's just not enough for me to look it up." The blonde suddenly brightens up. "Oh! I almost forgot, he gave me the one from his old car to show you!" She reaches into her purse and take out a ziploc bag containing a black plastic knurled knob with threads. "See, it says 710 on the top..." -
blonde_kathy said on Jun 22, 2009....
"I just stopped eating meat. I guess that makes me a Vet-er-en-arian huh." said Kathy.
Comment on "Blonde jokes for the bored."
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