Fedor lost. For the first time in 8 years, he lost a sambo match, and therefore is no longer the world sambo champion. He has been taking lessons in the mambo, so we anticipate him on dancing with the stars soon, perhaps vs. Warren Sapp.

On Jan 24th he is slated to fight Andrei Arlovski, who has completed his physical transformation and is now 100% vampire bat. Float like a butterfly, bite like a vampire.

Also on the card, Kim Couture faces her greatest rival, Randy Couture. Gina Carano is set to fight Kimbo Slice. Josh Barnett will be taking on the legendary Moishe Pippick. Kenny Ken Flo Florian will fight quarterback Joe Joe Flo Flocco for bragging rights to the name Flo. Hitler will fight Stalin. And in the superfight, Moses will pair off against Jesus.

Inside MMA Rankings has finally gone loco like all the rest of the ranking organizations in MMA. P.O.'d that a 2-1 fighter became the UFC champ, they are ranking the big boy only 5th, and Randy 6th, in the heavyweight division. I guess the only way to get a realistic view of who deserves to be ranked above who, ya gotta come here.

1. The Pillsbury Dough Boy Fedor Emelianenko The Last Emperor and God.
2. The Big Boy Brock Lesnar, religiously taking his designer steroids and testing negative.
3. Antonio Rodrigo Minotauro Big Nog Nogueira, the interim heavyweight champ which means shit.
4. The Babyfaced Assassin Josh Barnett, who really needs to take another shot at Cro Cop now that he sucks.
5. Andrei The Pitbull Vampire Arlovski, who probly ain't gonna be looking for Tiny Tim Sylvia any time soon.
6. That's it. The rest is way too confusing. A beats B, B beats C, C beats A, and where does that leave you?

Inside MMA believes that size is no big deal, explaining why NCAA wrestling champion Brock Lesnar, who now weighs 415 with only 4 ounces of body fat, is rated number 5. They have called for a match between him and fellow juice shooter Royce Gracie, an accomplished groundfighter, built like a stick. Now that Royce has begun taking steroids too, his biceps look like a worm got stung by a bee. Royce Twiggy Gracie, 6 foot 1, 122 pounds dripping wet. Since beginning his steroid regimen, Royce has put on four ounces of muscle. Now he has titties.