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s.o.s - nothing funny - i need the sc troops to rally around me - please???

fragglesrock posted on Nov 20, 2008 | views: 1112 | Tags: rat bastard, rat bastard mother fucker, dont do it, puhleeze, men-strikeagain, give-me-a-fuckin-break, harassment, manipulation
i woke up this morning and no idea what was waiting for me in my e-mail in box.
i get to work and check my e-mail.  i have a message from facebook....
 
"rat bastard added you as a friend to his facebook account, click here to verify...etc"
 
I DID NOT CLICK TO VERIFY....
 
instead i became instantly nauseated, dizzy, hyperventilating, rocking, sweating, cursing, crying, felt like i was going to pass out, the floor went slanted, my neck was all tingly, felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart and stomach...you get the idea.
 
WHY THE FUCK IS HE DOING THIS?
WHY THE FUCK AM I ON HIS RADAR?
WHY DOES HE WANT TO CONTACT ME?
WHY IS HE FUCKING WITH ME?
RIGHT AS I AM BEGINNING TO MOVE ON?
 
i have a guess. it's probably because i've been hanging with some of his friends (the ones i hang out with haven't talked to him in months).  what does he want from me? he's in a serious relationship now.  i'm so shaken up i can't type straight think straight see straight.
 
help....please?


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Comments

  • MissMimi said on Nov 20, 2008....
    I had to go back and read a couple of your posts about this creep.  At first I wondered if he was trying to apologize for being an asshole and trying to make contact.  Now I think he's probably just being a manipulative abusive asshole.  Has he tried to contact you otherwise?  He can't see your profile at Facebook if you don't confirm his request.  
     
    You're going to be okay.  Just take a deep breath and refuse to react the way he's hoping you will.   You're well rid of him.
     
    I wish I had more wisdom on this.  But here's a {{{hug}}} to try to calm you.
  • queenparanoia said on Nov 20, 2008....

    easy... ignore... delete... move on...

    that's it...

    i know it's not easy but you have to...

    there's someone out there for you fraggle... you have to move on to find him...

    anyway, i hope you'll be okay...

  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    mimi - you are correct, he cannot see my profile because i have it marked private. i just don't know what his angle is, and i think i must agree that he's trying to be manipulative....and no he hasn't tried to contact me otherwise, not yet...i'm scared.
     
    qp - i am moving on...i'm trying...damn him...who the hell does he think he is?  i'm trying to be okay, it's not easy.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Don't let him suck you into his mind games fraggles.  He's doing this because he thinks he can get a reaction out of you.  If he makes any more attempts to contact you via facebook contact the site administrator and tell them he's harrassing you.  If you're lucky they'll bounce him from the site.  Or at worst they'll tell him to back off.
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    uni - i think you are exactly right with the mind games, but knowing that doesn't help the churning in my tummy :(  i like that...get him bounced from the site!!!!!
  • uniquely-ironic said on Nov 20, 2008....
    I'm sorry about the nervous tummy.  It will go away the more often you practice giving rat bastard the finger.  Literally or figuritively.
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    uni - i just am so fucked up about this, i JUST said the other day to one of my girlfriends "i think i'm starting to move on"....and i am.  why now? why would he do this? i know, i'm completely weak and whiny right now. i'm sorry. i am just so damn conflicted.  he must have some REALLY big balls to do that.  another one of my friends thinks that he is angry that i'm hanging out with his friends b/c people are more inclined to do rash things (ie..look me up on facebook) when they are angry.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Nov 20, 2008....
    your friend could be right.  It probably irks him that you hang out with his friends.  It's like you're making a statement that though he's no good, you'll take his friends.  You know why he's doing this.  He's a dick head.  Just take a moment to go over the reasons you left him in your head.  One by one.  That should give you enough anger to deal with this puny effort of his to irritate you.
     
    You are moving on.  You are putting him and his shit behind you.  He blew it, you're not sticking around to take crap off of him.
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    uni - he left me. high and dry. so i have to go over the reasons why i'm glad he's not in my life anymore.  why am i so weak? i'm feeling compelled to e-mail him and play nice and ask why he wants to be on my facebook. give me strength to do the right thing.
  • pusscat said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Now then Miss fraggle. . .deep breath in 2, 3, 4. . . .out, 2, 3, 4. . . . no, no girl, don't just read the numbers, take the breath in 2,3,4. . . out 2, 3, 4. . . .

    That's better.  Now then.  If someone mailed me that I didn't care about one way or another I would just send them an e-mail, explain that I am rather busy, but ask what they wish to discuss with me.   If I were wanting to show I was bothered (which you don't) I would ignore them and they'd be thinking, "ha ha!  gotcha!".  Soooo - here's what ya do girl; take those little fingers of yours and type an e-mail just as I outlined above right?  If you don't you will be asking yourself questions about his mail till Doomsday darling.

    Even if you are struggling, you'll hate yourself by tomorrow if you let him see you are struggling.  Get it? Well then. . . .don't just sit there my darling - get typing!  Chop, chop ;-)
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    puss...thank you much for the laughter on the breathing :)  i appreciate that you are talking slowly and deliberately to me right now. i need that. i also appreciate your insight...i DON'T want him to know he "got me", i am heading off to lunch break and i am going to consider how/what to say....will check in in a bit...thanks.
  • mobil said on Nov 20, 2008....
    It's appears to me that you are still carrying a torch for the rat fucker fraggles. It might be dim, but it's a torch just the same, check yourself out, take the 20 question quiz to see if you are still carrying some sort of ........ummmm feelings for this rat fucking bastard.
     
    After that, take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Fraggles!!! Do NOT go into the light!!  It's one of those mosquito killers. Rat bastard's invite on facebook is the light.
  • Hegemone said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Frag, don't let him mess with you this way.  I'd say, look at this this way, even though it made you feel all sorts of fucked up ... he's reaching out now after this amount of time when he's committed, there's no reason you can see that he would but it just pops up.  He's noticed that you're in a better place, you're moving on, you don't need him, you're not under his thumb ... and HE PROBABLY CAN'T STAND IT!  So don't let him on your Facebook or anywhere else ... piss on him, but you sure can take joy in knowing that this time, you've got the upper hand even if it doesn't feel like it.  You're denying him, turning him down, in a way telling him 'No, I'm done with you, I do things for me, and I don't want you anymore!'.  Feel empowered on this one, you've got the choice to deny him, and you did ... and now you've got the choice to not even speak to him if you don't feel 100% strong enough, personally I don't think he deserves to speak to you anyway.  So good luck, be strong, and I hope you'll be ok.  **Hugs Fraggie!**
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    mobil - it's very true, i am so not over rat fucker, just beginning to get to the point where i can think about being over him...thanks for your advise.

    uni - i hear what your sayin

    hege - i know what your sayin to me, i do have the upper hand, but it just doesn't feel like it. i'm still letting him control me. i suck.  thanks for the hugs.

  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    btw... i still have not decided if i'm going to go through with it, but IF i do respond to him here's what i'm gonna say...

     

    Dear Rat Bastard...

    i saw your friend request on facebook, it was a surprise for sure, i can't imagine why you would need to contact me. other than an announcement of a new cheezwhiz flavor,  i can think of nothing else that would get you fired up enough that you'd want to tell me about it, and last i heard cheezwhiz has not added a new flavor....so what's up?

  • pusscat said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Ha ha ha!  Love it!  You are very quick and clever with words fraggle and THAT my dear friend is always the best way to go :-))

    You just gotta send it cos I wanna know what his response is LOL!
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    puss - you flatter me dear! and...I LOVE IT!!! ***fraggles kicking up leg***

    as of right now i'm sitting on it, finger twitching above the send button.....

  • cuppajava said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Hi Fraggles- as you are aware,I have had one of those days where i am feeling particularly devious - but for now - please take PC's advise,and think about what Mobil said too.I think he is right.Maybe there is a small light on somewhere.You need to be able to free yourself from this dumb fuck and put it off.I mean,you really dont want this guy back in your life do you? I didnt think so.
    So start typing and imagine the 'send' button has got 'fuck off' written on it instead
    Take care
  • travelr712 said on Nov 20, 2008....
    you know, if i remember right, some profiles on facebook are set to general public so anyone can add them, and some are set to private. he may have just been trying to add you and not realized it would trip a notice to you. not actually wanting to establish contact, just have a safe, remote way to keep an eye on how you're doing with no malicious intent. a way that you wouldn't even know he was watching.
     
    however, if there is a confirmation window that asks if you want to send a request for inclusion, then he knew you'd see it.
     
    hard to say really, but he hasn't actually tried to make direct contact with you yet, just requested to add you to his facebook site, that's all. maybe he's building a collection of all the women he knows on his site? that is, after all, where he ran across his current gf, who used to be his high school sweetheart.
     
    the point is, if he wanted to contact you, he has ways of doing that directly. if all he's doing is something remote that you might not even know about, he isn't trying to contact you.
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    cuppa - i do NOT want dumb fuck back in my life and i do need to free myself from him....i'm still chewing it all, thanks for the advise :)

    trav - yeah, there is a confirmation button that he would have to press...BUT, i did have a thought, i think that when you first sign up they give you the option of letting facebook go in and send an invite to all your e-mail contacts that are on facebook...so that may be what had happened....and not to be mean, but dude, i KNOW that that is how he met his current g.f. you don't have to pull out the girlfriend card and salt my open wounds with it :(

  • diabolicdame said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Ignore.. seriously, don't trip.. just ignore him! You know you don't wanna talk to him again.. you're trippin just at the thought of it.. just forget you even saw the invite in your inbox and he'll go away on his own.!   (((((((((hug))))))))))
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    diabolic - i don't wanna talk to him again, i am trippin just at the thought of it and i think i probably will just ignore....forgetting is harder :(  thanks for the hug!
  • starchini said on Nov 20, 2008....

    ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore...nothing is worse than letting them fuck with your head fraggle!  NOTHING, if hes as bad as i think he is i know for a fact, he has no good intentions, doesnt want peace, and only wants to stroke his own ego.  By talking to him or even acknowledging his existence you are leaving the door open and giving him ego.  He thinks "i still got it, i can fuck her over and over and over again and she will never cut me off"...Believe me, I know.  If he really is a bad guy, verbally abusive, physically abusive, a cheater, an unappreciative asshole, and well- a complete rat bastard.  Do not leave that door even a little cracked.  Dead bolt it from top to bottom and never let him back in!!!  Maybe ur nothing like me, but maybe u are...I dated a similar man and for some reason was completly blinded and went mentally retarded, he contacted me a few weeks after a horrible break up and wanted me back, he was sooooo sorry...I was retarded...please dont be retarded.  It just drags the heartbreak on and on and on.  People like him are sociopaths, they get their jollies by hurting women who are sweet kind and forgiving like us...Just dont, please.  I went through 12 months of complete and utter hell bc i did not dead bolt the door and he just kept breaking my heart over and over again...

  • diabolicdame said on Nov 20, 2008....
    I know its hard.. and it will take its time.. theres just no other way, right? Meanwhile kepe yourself busy.. and happy!    :-)
  • beautymark said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Ima have to agree with the majority on this one frag! Do the exact opposite of what he expects you to do IGNORE HIS ASS completely! This gives you peace "outta sight outta mind" and it keeps his dumb ass on his toes. He'll never know what angle to come from, if he can't get through that way.no matter what the reason he is sending you the invite for, make his ass work for it! You deserve his sweat and anxiety!
  • starchini said on Nov 20, 2008....

    Nothing will hurt him worse than completly ignoring him.  Please dont send him a witty response about cheezewhiz, just acknowledging him will stroke his ego and give him enough edge to push through the door that should be deadbolted. 

  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    star - i'm getting the idea that you and i have had a common past experiences..lol! you are so speaking my language, sociopath - check, me being retarded - check, his ego - check, deadbolt - going out to purchase one tonight ;)  thanks a ton...

    diabolic - yep, i gotta eat my words with you here, i think i said something to you about keeping busy? lol...thanks

    beauty - i love what you said, i DO deserve his sweat and anxiety, that is a wonderful way to make me look at it ... thanks so much :)

  • beautymark said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Starchini hit the nail on the head in regards to the ego stroking. Men love it!! Not responding to it and ignoring it completely does the exact opposite! It will make him question himself. And it seems he needs to do a little more of that any way.
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....
    beauty - he needs to do a LOT more of that. thanks for your support, i am SOOO geared up now instead of scared like i was this morning :)
  • diabolicdame said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Oh.. it took me a minute to remember what you were talking about! hehehe.. yeah well no need to eat those words... its really good advice! sounds like we think alike, eh?!    :-D
  • starchini said on Nov 20, 2008....
    no prob fraggles, if i can prevent even a little bit of heart break by spreading my horrible experience around, it was well worth it : )  Good luck, and i like ace hardware  : P
  • Psych-ed said on Nov 20, 2008....
    I agree with everyone else just delete that request and ignore him. Then sit back and enjoy the fact that you're making him sweat!
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    psych-ed - thanks! i've already deleted the request from my e-mail :)

  • pusscat said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Way to go fraggle :-))

    {({({({({({({({({({(  fraggle  )})})})})})})})})})})}
  • RollingC said on Nov 20, 2008....
    He may be just trying to keep tabs with you (looking at things positively)....
    But from your reaction.... you need to ignore him and move on with your life.   Anyone that can make you feel like that needs to have some distance put between you and him.
    Be strong...move on....don't look back.
    Rc
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 20, 2008....

    puss - thanks for the atta boy and hug!!!!!

    rc - you must be psychic ;)  a friend of mine who is very close to the situation said almost the exact same thing as you did, and i feel MUCH more zen than i did this morning.....thanks for the encouragement!

  • Hegemone said on Nov 20, 2008....
    Frag!  In response to your earlier response ... you don't suck.  You just gots to try to make yourself see the upper hand.  Again, this could be, as you said, the blind leading the blind, lol ... but that's one thing that I find helps me get out of my lows ... I force myself to find the good, or positive or whatever, even if it just only gives me a laugh, it takes the edge off and I can go from there.  I'm glad you're feeling better about this though!
  • lionesss said on Nov 20, 2008....
    fraggles, send that message.. on facebook just block him and he wont be able to contact you again change your profile to private so he cant find you.take advice off pc has she knows what she is talking about, good luck {{{x}}}x
  • winterslight said on Nov 20, 2008....

    ok i am late sorry!

    add him and fuck with him!

    find someone hot take a pic with!  put it up on your page!

    write things about how great your life is!

    write you truly never knew how great life was untill you were set free!

    maake sure you have great  pics of you to make him think god i am stupid for letting her go!

    take a picture of you trashing stuff he gave you!

    mess with the man!

    copy all  he says to you! then send it to his chick!

    break his heart and hurt him!

    dont fear his unknowns!

    he doesnt have the right to hold your heart no more!

    your strong hun! and you can deal with whatever shit he sends your way!

    good luck you no were all here!

  • wombat said on Nov 21, 2008....
    I'm just barely having a minute to look at SC, but wanted to stop and read really quickly to see if you were ok.  I agree with the others not to let it get to you too much, but I know it's annoying!  I liked your suggested reply, though!  Cheesewhiz!  Stay cool.....
  • mischavalentine said on Nov 21, 2008....
    OOOOOHKAY! Draw a picture of him and then another with you in it, then add props - like knives and swords and other vicious torturing equipment, then draw another where you cut off his manbits with a butterknife or shove a thermometer up his pee hole and then smashing it.
    That will not only get rid of the demon raging inside you it's also lots of fun.
    Now everytime he bugs the living shit out of you you imagine that scene every time more evil and more gross.

    The therapy works. :) If it does'nt ....well I tried and you calmed the fuck down for a second to read this.
    mission accomplished.
    * Mischa hugs Fraggles and shoves a butterknife in her hand grinning contently*
    buwahahahaha!

  • pusscat said on Nov 21, 2008....
    mischa - you are priceless darling!!  I love that ;-)

    pusscat hugs mischa and fraggles and hands the thermometer to fraggles ;-)
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 21, 2008....

    hege - yep! we gotta find the laughs in life :)

    lion - thanks for reading!!! and i agree, that pusscat is brilliant, thanks for your encouragement  :)

    winter - oh boy! you are devious!  I LOVE IT!!! ***kicking up leg*** thanks for the support :)

    wombie - awww. thanks for checking in...means a lot to me, truly.  yeah cheezwhiz!!! lol...and yep, i'm okay and stayin' cool :)

    mischa - i did calm the fuck down long enough to read (and you had me giggling)!!! but i can't draw, how do you draw a butterknife up a stick figure's butt? and the BIGGER question is....do stick figure's even HAVE butts????? ROFLMAO!!!  oh boy, a question that i will have to start asking to random people at random times now...."DO STICK FIGURES HAVE BUTTS?"  stand by...i'm going to try it out on someone now....

    ok, just asked our resident artist here at work...

    me - "Do stick figures have butts?"

    him - "no" (as he shot me a look like...duh)

    me - "why not?"

    him - "BECAUSE THEY ARE STICKS AND BUTTS ARE ROUND" (him looking exasperated that i interrupted his work for such tom-foolery)

    ***silence for a few minutes while artist works and fraggles looks perplexed***

    me - clearing throat

    artist - looking up at me impatiently over his glasses "what now?"

    me - "ummm...if a stick figure doesn't have a butt? then how am i supposed to shove a butter knife up it?"

    artist - shaking head  "i'm quite sure i can't answer that"

    okeeeydokey..

    ***fraggles hugs pusscat and mischa and gladly takes butter knife and thermometer***

     

     

  • MidniteToker said on Nov 21, 2008....
    Castor beans, hot water, a teaspoon of lye and some acetone.  Now you can play with Ricin, probably like the most poison thing ever...nothing says "leave me alone" like 4 days of incurable hell followed by death. 
  • fragglesrock said on Nov 21, 2008....

    hmmm....i did hear from a nurse that a few drops of visine in the coffee will give him the shits for days, however that would mean i'd have to suffer through a meeting of the mind and the rat-bastard...think i'll skip it...but, can i send the castor, beans, and hot water through the mail??? lol

  • mischavalentine said on Nov 22, 2008....
    Gosh I live for these moments, appreciation of the torturing art appreciated. hee-hee

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