[SC readers - continued from Part 1]

***Part Two***

When you tied the rope to the ends of the spreader bar and hoisted it up above my head, I started to wonder what I’d gotten myself into. Part of me was very nervous but the other part was sinking deeply into the submission. I loved feeling your hands on my body as you told me I was yours, that you could do whatever you wanted with me and in that space I really was; you really could.

The only patch of white paint in the room, which you later explained had been a doorway, was directly in front of me and made for the most amazing shadows. I couldn’t turn to see you properly, but your shadow against mine, as my arms dangled from the bar, my legs spread once again, was a big turn-on. I saw your shadow disappear momentarily. When it appeared again, I saw the silhouette of the flogger in your hand.

I honestly never thought I’d want to be flogged on my back – or any part of me above the waist for that matter. You had mentioned flogging the back in the past and I had been willing to try it at least, but in fact I found it to be an incredible experience.

I actually felt guilty enjoying it, because it of course seemed like it was something I shouldn’t enjoy. I had expected it to be so painful, yet the sensation, though quite intense, was more cathartic than unpleasant and left my skin feeling delightfully warm.

Obviously, as the night went on and the floggings increased in intensity, it became more painful and more challenging to process, but no less enjoyable despite the pain.

After you’d finished the first ‘set’ (it seems the most appropriate word), I was left to contemplate what had just happened and I honestly don’t know if you left the room or just sat in the chair at the opposite end of the room. I’m not entirely sure what qualifies as “subspace” but I was in a very happy place wherever I was, finding it hard to believe that being flogged, even when it’s just suede, could feel that good.

When you returned the silhouette had changed and I saw the riding crop in your hand. I knew this was a whole new kettle of fish.

You warned me that it would sting, but that you wanted me to try and take it. Still feeling guilty for enjoying the flogger, I was determined to do just that.

The crop certainly did sting, just as promised, but I got through the six (I think?) strokes. When I got home that night I traced my fingers over the raised welts, but by this morning they had all merged into a dark bruise, which didn’t surprise me, as my skin tends to bruise easily. I will need to stock up on arnica cream!

I appreciated the reassurance you gave me at the time because you knew it wasn’t easy. I find it interesting how the D/s dynamic intensifies so much in those moments – for all of my independence elsewhere, in that space I really was yours, and your approval, your reassurance, meant everything.

You played with me, your fervent captive, and fucked me with the dildo again which, in the midst of everything else, was intensely pleasurable. I nearly brought the bar down as I pulled desperately on it as you let me get so close to climaxing again before stopping.

After that you let me simmer for a while. You would stand close to me, just behind me, just in front of me, but I couldn’t move enough to reach you and it was driving me wild.

You finally let me kiss you and it was wonderful, if fleeting, before you disappeared again into the darkness.

The final flogging pushed me right to the edge as the pleasure and pain seemed to reach some kind of equilibrium. You got me to put my left foot on a chair making me more vulnerable as the suede tails wrapped around my inner thighs and snapped at my clit. I would have sworn before that night that it would be too much but in fact it was just enough. Finally, it was my right leg, that was now supporting most of my weight, which forced practicality to intervene, and your quick response to my request meant a lot.

Slowly you lowered the spreader bar and led me back to the table where you ordered me back into my previous position, bent over with legs spread.

Having only had one experience with any sort of anal play, that being the small butt plug from a couple of weeks ago, I honestly didn’t know what to say when you asked me if I was ready to take you that way. I think the problem with asking questions like that in the moment itself is that I’d become a lot more emotionally pliable than normal, but in truth, not necessarily any more ready to try it. I replied that I didn’t know, which was the best response that I could come up with, and agreed to at least attempt it (I suspect I know why you suggested it), but I think some more experience and training with different sized plugs will help the process.

After that, you called me over to where you had by then sat down, and said, “I think you know what to do.”

For some reason that particular wording grated on me and I was also close to overload with everything else that happened already that night. Lesson for Dru is that next time, *that’s* the point at which I’ll ask for a break, rather than trying to push on, which I suspect is what contributed to the difficulties I had next.

You had organised such an incredible night and I was so appreciative, so grateful and I really wanted to do what I could to end the night well for you. Interfering with that intention was the fact that I was barely functioning properly at that stage and oral is still a big challenge for me, so it wasn’t long before frustration set in and I didn’t know what to do or how to move past it. Sitting for a while definitely helped, but changing positions was a much better plan under the circumstances – once I found a familiar position things got a bit easier.

I know practice will help and that I just can’t be a perfectionist about this as I am with so many other things, because it’s too unreasonable, but I just wish I could manage a bit better. I ended up applying some tantric principles at the end with my breathing so that might be something for me to use sooner rather than later next time.

Sir, I’m so fortunate to have such a creative, responsive, sensitive and talented Dom and I want to thank you so much for everything on Friday, from the shopping trip, to the surprise excursion, to the incredible experiences that you created for us in your secret dungeon.

I love my collar, and I’m enjoying looking after the flogger (I still need to write-up what happened when L got hold of it the next night!)

I do have a couple of requests for any future outings – a bit of aftercare for Dru if we’re travelling anywhere.

Things like, if I know that we may not end up back at my apartment, then I can either choose my outfit with that in mind, or bring things like flat shoes in a bag for afterwards (as I was shaky enough as it was before I put my heels back on). I also need to remember to have some water before leaving anywhere because I realised after the fact that I was quite dehydrated. Finally, I think I’ll opt for taxi rather than public transport when we’ve been playing fairly intensely, as I was really spaced out after I left and had anything gone wrong on the way home, I’d be in no position to respond properly. I also nearly fell of the bus which was a hint that maybe I needed to work on my getaway plan for next time :)

Apart from the write-up of Saturday night, I’ll also write a little bit about what happened after I started this reflection, which also explains why I’m only just finishing this now, on Monday evening. There have been some fairly significant aftershocks for me to weather, including some last night, but I know that’s all part of the journey.

I did get your text today about describing my fantasy role play scenario and I will think about that as well. At this rate, I suspect I’m going to spend half the week writing! ;)

Thanks again Sir, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Respectfully,
Dru xx