For a better healthier me, I am setting some goals.

  But first I want to recognize my problems.

Sleep Schedule
Exersizing Need
Smoking Habit
Nail Biting Habit
Stressing
Depression
Jobless
Driving Uncomfortable
Socially Lonely
UnHealthy Breakfast
Hygene
Food
Vitamins

 I think that about covers it.
So I started on my quest of information on how i can do better at those things.


 ~Several hours later~

Starting from the top.

-Sleep Schedule
    This has been a problem for me because currently I do not have a job and I have a hard time getting to sleep. Also since I think I have a sleep disorder. It is a Dyssomnia, more specifically Hypersomnia. I am always a bit sleepy even if I have slept 12+ hours(which is my norm most often). I found that I fit perfectly into that category which surprised me. I didn't figure I had a problem like that. I just assumed I was having a bad habit. But I look back as i was growing up as well. I've always had sleepy issues, no matter how much sleep i got the night before.
     So I'm going to try to everyday to start waking up at 10 am and I will go to bed at Midnight. This should allow enough time for me to become sleepy, if I'm not I will adjust my waking up an hour earlier.
   Some tips for myself to help sleep.
1. Wind down approx 90 mins before bed time.
2. Do some relaxation and breathing excersises to relax.
3. Exercise 3 hours before bed.
4. Eat 2-3 hours before bed.
5. No caffine or smoking 2-3 hours before bed. (hardest one)
6. Everyday for an half hour, spend it expressing my concerns in a journal. (I think this will be turned into 15 mins for journal and 15 mins for meditation.)
7. Listen to calming music to go to bed to.


-Exersizing Need
    Up until I moved in with Alex I was exercising nearly every night, allowing breaks when my body needed it for a day or two - for about 7 months. I was really beginning to feel my body was changing for the better. But when I moved up here, it all stopped. My yummy delicious deli sandwhiches which were super healthy, my routine everything just kinda went ~whosh~! Out the window. Not only have I gained weight but I have also noticed my body isn't doing so well with this extra weight.
     My resolution is from WebMd. I signed up today and they are going to be my hound to make sure I try and complete my exercises daily. The goal is to lose 30 pounds in 89 weeks. ^^' Sounds like a long time. But it's worth it to do it healthy! Tonight before the program starts tomorrow though, I have to fix this damn seat on our exercise bike. It hurts my butt x.x' I think trying to do it in the morning will my original goal, but I don't know if that is set or not. I need to find out when you should eat when exersizing. I think it is after the activity since the system is all pumped up and going. But you shouldn't start a work out either running on low. =\ Also WebMd suggests short term goals and to reward myself. Well I would be rewarded just to know I can stick with something and it help me change for the better.


-Smoking Habit
    This is a hard one for me. I have been trying to slowly work on it the past few days. When I get the feeling, oh i need a smoke, I step back and recognize that and instead of filling the desire I wait for awhile, as long as I can wait or keep myself busy. I have a feeling this will be like caffine too, once I start noticing that more. But well my goal is hard for the Stop Smoking. I have no intention on just going bam, I'm stopped. But I do intend on cutting back as good as I can, slowly. It isn't an over night thing, just like everything else I am working on.  I think also besides lighting up when i get the urge, I should also start stepping outside to smoke if the weather permits. If not, just meditate in a quiet place for a little bit before smoking. I'm only stopping because I feel as if I used smoking like a crutch. After my first 'serious' relationship, my life fell apart. I was left with so many ridiculous bills and I started drinking and partying. It wasn't me at all. And I'm sorry that my life ever got to that point, so since i really don't drink anymore, I think eliminating the one other crutch from then - would be good too.



-Nail Biting Habit
   Yada yada, I know nail biting is a nasty habit. I've done it since I was a kid, I've never had beautiful nail. And I don't care if I ever really do. This is not a nervous habit that I do, its like chewing gum for some people.  But I do think this is a problem, I mean my boyfriend can get compliments on his nails and I get nothing >>' So One solution said that I wear gloves as much as possible. Well thats not gonna happen. Another suggests putting bitter or spicy stuff on my finger nail tips. I have been known to get that nasty flavor gone and continue asap. I think self control and recognizing before I do it, will be a good way to stop. I'm not expecting a miracle but when alex and I first started dating I let my nails grow for over 2 or 3  weeks. I was sooooo impressed with myself. ^^ I want to beat that eventually.


-Stressing
    I know I have a lot of underlying problems at attribute massively to my stress. So I think I need to develop a better way to destress. I believe the tips I found actually fit right along in what I am trying to do. Only one I would add, but that is covered in another area. ^^!
Here are some tips I found.
  1. Heal Yourself (exersize and stuff)
  2. Get Organized (working on it ^^)
  3. Set Boundaries (don't let friends wear you down)
  4.Take Time for yourself
  5. Be Positive ( I know i need to work in this area)
  6. Enjoy your Work (If i could find a job.)
  7. Surround yourself w/ a supportive community.
  8. Learn to say "No" (do things that you want to enjoy, ehh....)
  9. Zap Tolerations (This is meant to be irratations. And yep thats what I'm work on.)
 10. Get your needs met.


-Depression
  I have had problems with depression for a very long time. I have had a lot of issues in my past that make it hard to think sometimes. I have had panic attacks over them, i have had flashbacks of things that are better left in the past. I in no way think that I am able to over come my depression on my own. But I believe that I can help myself work through it better, until I relapse again. I know that if I trust my loving Boyfriend, and talk to my friends - I can work through it to the best of my ability and get support to make it through the rest. There is no set solution to depression. I just have to have faith in my friends and my Soul Mate.


-Jobless
   BLARG >.<!!! I hate not having a job. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough to get one though. So This week I want to step it up a notch. I want to go to an Interview for a job, that I think I will enjoy. This makes me feel like I am not lowering my standards, but showing myself and Alex that I am trying. And I want to be successful, I want Alex to see I'm not a complete failure. I like having money to pay people back, I like having money to go buy random gifts, I like being able to spoil my pets myself. I just can't stand the dependance that has become how our relationship is working.....  I don't think my goal for this week is unreasonable, I think it maybe a bit hard but not impossible.



-Driving Uncomfortable
   This one.... I am scared of driving around this town. I am slowly slowly becoming more comfortable with it as Alex drives me around. But I still don't feel safe driving myself places. I think the best solution to this problem is to drive him around, not far but atleast out of the neighborhood and down the street. I need practice again. I need to know that I'm >NOT< the crazy lady in the old ass car driving on the edge of a lane, threatening another lane x.x' I just need some confidence built up.


-Socially Lonely
   This is a harder one. Alex means the world to me. But I need more human contact other than out to eat, or over to his friends house. I feel like I am seperated from the world. My world is 4 rooms, a living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. There are approximately 5 living beings with me (not counting bugs, eww) and of those 5, only 1 can talk. Thats Alex. I feel like I'm becoming awkward around people. I always have been, but its getting worse. I think the best way to resolve this is with a job. 2nd best way is to make friends of my own. Friends that Alex and I could hang out with sometime, together. Even friends that smoke pot, or are pagan or are into bdsm, or anime, or dnd, or hell just about anything!!!! I dunno I'm aching to reach out but I feel unable to.


-UnHealthy Breakfast
  Although I am very proud of myself usually that I can say I eat breakfast most everyday. I have to admit. I had jello with oranges and marshmallows for breakfast less than a week ago. Not the most healthy, body awakening food. So I want to commit myself to start eating cereal, or maybe a bagel with milk. It says on WebMd, to get the full benefits of breakfast I should eat carbs, protein and a small amount of fat.  The bagels Alex and I get have Protein in them so I think a Bagel and Milk, maybe some fruit too, would be the best breakfast I could get ^^.


-Food
   This section is being skipped over. So many details. My goal for this is to monitor my eating and try to make healthier choices not only on food but also on my pop and ect.  This can really help.

 
-Vitamins
    Although a lot of people say a multi vitamin isnt nessecarily helpful, I think that it would be better for me to go ahead and commit to it along with all these other changes I am working on.


-Hygene
     I am not the cleanest person, I am not the most taken care of personal either. I take a bath every other day maybe. I brush my hair when it annoys me. I don't brush my teeth everyday. Those things need to change. And I need to start shaving more often, lotioning my body better. And just treating my body special. I think if i have to pick a special treatment nght i can, so I don't feel like I am over doing it and trying to be someone I'm not. I do want alex to come home and be excited to see me all pretty, I know he would never say i look  like shit but hey i know the truth. I don't try and look my best very often. I need to value my apperance a bit more than I have recently.




     These are my goals.
 And I plan on updating my blog weekly on my goals so that I can track some sort of progress to a degree. =)