No, this isnt' another one of my erotic fruit stories...
Although come to think of it, I probably could come up with one right about now...
No, no...I'm onto a serious topic even if it's called Honey-DO.
For those who might not be familiar with this expression, a Honey-Do list is just that.....a list of 'to-do's' for your honey.
My husband doesn't care for honey-do lists. So we don't do them in my house. But I tried to....
A girlfriend at work told me about these lists that she leaves for her husband. She called them 'gentle guidance'- the 'honey-do list"...She swore by them. Told everyone that's how all her household projects got done.
She loudly touted the fact that she and her hubby no longer argued over the things that needed to be done around the house, nor the priority. She simply posted them and whenever he had a spare moment, he'd work his way down the list.
What a wonderful concept!
So I wrote up my first list:
- Change lightbulbs in the garage
- Fix drip in downstairs bathroom sink
- Change filter in Air Conditioner
- Powerwash Deck
- Change oil in YOUR car
- Prune cherry tree out front
- Mulch
Then I posted it to the 'front and center' spot on the fridge.
When he came from work that night, I told him and pointed out the list.
He didn't say a word.
Then I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
A week went by.
I added two more things:
- change showerhead in sm bath
- move snowblower from shed to garage
That Friday night after a wonderful dinner, I pointed to the list again. I told him about the new items I'd added.
He didn't say a word.
I waited for ONE thing to get worked.
Patience is very important in relationships....
Another week gone...still nothing.
By the 3rd week I picked an argument over the list.
Now we were aguing over the Honey-Do....
Hey, this was supposed to save those arguments!
The 4th week he told me that he didn't want me directing him on household projects.
He knew what had to be done and he'd figure it out on his own and 'get to it'.
I looked at the fridge.
He'd ripped down the list.
I never tried them again with him.
I don't think it ever dawned on him that he'd been leaving me informal 'honey-do's' for years
- pick up my shirts at the cleaners
- take my car in for a service; oh and I need new wipers
- don't forget to buy me those fried onions in the can next time you go to the store
- Pick my mother a Birthday gift while you're out
And on and on of course...
Ok, so you've already guessed my question -Do 'Honey-Do's ' work at your house?
Does your honey leave you lists?
SL
secretlife posted on Aug 21, 2006
| views: 396
Comments
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Jenna said on Aug 21, 2006....
My honey never did... just part of the reason I no longer do my honey. :)
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secretlife said on Aug 21, 2006....
LOL! I wish i'd said that!!!!
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silverwhisper said on Aug 21, 2006....
jenna: you, miss, are a very funny lady!
ed
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louthomas said on Aug 21, 2006....
No, they get dictated to me and I have to write the list.
What's worse, my mother does it, too.
My wife's dog tries to do it.
Just your average underpaid secretary, that's me.
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satyr said on Aug 21, 2006....
Well, I have to admit that I have a tendency to get used to overlooking things after they have been there (or in that condition)for a while. I can use a little eye-opening from time to time. I don't like the idea of my wife expecting everything to be done almost immdeiately, and that sometimes causes resentment (and a few fights)....but overall, I want to be made aware of the things I've learned to overlook....I just don't want to feel hounded about them. Of course, if I opened my eyes and paid a bit more attention, I'd probably pick them out myself, so I'm probably just being lazy.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 21, 2006....
I don't do honey-do lists. My husband likes anything work related, so he'll do a lot of things that I ask him to do. However, some things he repairs to "just get by" which really chaps my hide.
CW
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sigroid75 said on Aug 21, 2006....
secret, this is not about ur blog.
but i just want to let u know that i
like your description about yourself.:-)
way to go girl!!!:-)
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secretlife said on Aug 21, 2006....
louthomas - my mother has a secret honey-do list for each of us kids (and our spouses). When we visit her, she picks something from the list (change the batteries in the smoke alarm, steam clean the carpets, put this together for me.,etc) and that's how she manages to get things done!
CW: I know the 1/2-assed thing well; that's why I use a handyman for plumbing, and more complicated things nowadays. The handiman is a nice retired guy who is very reasonably priced!
satyr: projects that 'never end' are my personal pet peeve.
My kitchen is going on a full year next month, and we still don't have the backsplash....
sigroid: I'm laughing; a pretty 'normal' description, no?
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ALIENated said on Aug 22, 2006....
I say I need to do this and that. My wife writes it down
and adds her stuff. I do it when I can. Your hubby sounds
like a Taurus. When you try to get him to do something
he ignores you or butts you with his horns. Or maybe a
Leo--too proud to do your dirty work. I am just guessing.
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
He's a Virgo; Do you think that matters?
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stilldocked said on Aug 22, 2006....
So, I moved into a new home about a month ago and we had a week in between having to be out of our old home and into our new home to do things...replace the vanity in the downstairs bathroom, get the kitchen ready, et cetera, plus totally redo what was to be my four year old's playroom.
My wife created a list of things that she wanted done, and posted it on the fridge. I went about my business doing things that Ami (dear wife) had said needed to be done before we moved in...
Guess what? I did the wrong things. Wait. It's not that I did the wrong things, it's that I didn't do the right things. I thought what I was doing was helpful, but DW wanted to do the other things on the list. It would have been much easier, and we wouldn't have had an awful knockdown dragout fight about it, if we had a conversation about what our priorities were instead of one member of the partnership taking the unilateral lead and assigning tasks through a "honey-do" list.
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 22, 2006....
For me I am lazy, and so is my husband. I do ALL that has to be done around the appartment. I never liked cleaning and my children are young so I don't insist that they clean, they will in the future but not right now. I work full time and TRY to get things done WHEN I have the time. My husband works nights and weekends so I'm more like a maid/hooker (joke). I just tell myself that I do what I can, since the only time I can sit down is after 9pm since the kids are in bed. I will go for a while without cleaning, so yes you can just imagine what it looks like. But I tell myself that I just simply cannot do EVERYTHING! Therefore after a point of burnout I decided not to do anything about since my husband was not about to change in that department! I just do what I can and if he doesn't like it he can it himself. Thank god we don't have a house yet, just and appartment! I know it's not a solution but things will change in the futur, I have a VERY stubburn husband ( I swear he's the most confident man ever!) but I love him and I live with it!
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 22, 2006....
Another thing to me is that if the light bulb has to be changed such a task should not be on a list but just simply done without a doubt. To me it just makes sense...unfortunatly not to all people!
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
Don't you feel like you can't win sometimes, stilldocked?
Marie-Jane - it's absolutely absurd to have an item on the list to change a lightbulb...i totally agree. That being said, our garage has a very high ceiling, and the bulbs are actually inside of the garage door openers. You have to get the ladder, unscrew the opener and then change the bulb. We both go in and out of the garage most days, but he comes and goes in the dark most often, so he should certainlhy notice the lights are out.
I'm afraid if it involves a ladder and screwdriver I add it to his list of 'to-do's'...I do verbal ones these days.
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stilldocked said on Aug 22, 2006....
Well, sometimes you get the bull...sometimes you get the horns...
However, we are slowly getting the house in order (and planning for what a contractor can do in the future).
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2006....
Secret,
When I need a real handyman my husband calls his dad. My husband holds his skills in higher regard than I do. He is the king of half-assed. He uses cheap materials and the end result isn't good.
big sigh....
Some day I'm gonna bust outta this joint.
CW
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secretlife said on Aug 23, 2006....
stilldocked: contractor? Yes!
CW: What's that saying? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2006....
Secret,
I have used that saying many times.
CW
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2006....
Speaking of Honey-Do's,
My husband was going to mow the yard before he went to work at the factory today. I simply asked if he would mow the front first because I knew he probably wouldn't get the whole thing done. At least that part would look nice if anyone happened to drive by.
He looked at me like I had lost my mind then said o.k. I must have upset the order of his universe by making that request.
CW
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Marie-Jane said on Aug 23, 2006....
Well, I wouldn't mow the lawn before going to work honestly. Why tire yourself before you go to work, for me rest is very important, unfortunatly I would not have asked that questions before he goes to work. Mind you I don't know what the size of your lawn is....
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dyingman said on Sep 15, 2007....
I make my own lists and am forbidden for doing same for the Mrs.
I'd have a dilly for her after 10 years of holding my tongue.
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secretlife said on Sep 15, 2007....
dying man: what's good for the goose is good for the gander....or something like that!you having fun back there in my posts?some of these i'd forgotten i'd written!i'm having fun re-reading.things were different last summer than they are now here, that's for sure.
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