I have been sitting here wondering what in life I am doing wrong?? What could I be doing so wrong to have so many complications so much fustration. I felt like how could one person have so much misery sitting in their lap when they dont do anything wrong. I dont do drugs. I dont drink. So what am I doing wrong. I pray to GOD faithfully on my knees, in the shower, walking down the street, in my front yard. You name it I am am praying. I watch TBN faithfully. If you are not aware of TBN it is the Trinity Broadcasting Network. I watch Creflo Dollar, Marylin and Sara, Benny Hinn, Paula White, The Lakewood Church, and several others. Watching TBN has made me like black people. Before I will admit it I was racist, I was even on the computer looking to see if my area had a local KKK group I could join, but today I think black people are a blessing, some of the black preachers on this network are alive and that is a true blessing. Sometimes those preachers sound like they are sitting in my house and that is so weird but that is when GOD is talking to you. I was sitting here one day and the preacher was talking about how life just basically isnt going to good for you , you have legal problems, you have bills just everywhere, your cupboards are bare and you are just miserable. WOW that was me, the more he talked the more he sounded like me. I listened and thought ok, then he started talking about sowing your seed. To sow a thousand dollar seed would end your problems he stated GOD will see you sow that seed. I did'nt have any money right then but if I did I would of done it. GOD has removed disease from my life, he has removed sickness, he has removed so many obstacles from my life and I know he is here. Without a home church though I would'nt know where to sow my seed and a thousand dollars I dont even get that in a month. On June 3, 2005 me and my children became homeless that is we had to live in a hotel room. It was awful I would cry and cry and cry I began to go to church but the preacher preached on the same thing "paying your tithes". How could I pay anything when I didnt have anything myself I was worried about too much to worry about paying my tithes but when GOD gave us Jesus did he worry about giving up his only son, I dont think so. I was also worried about an old electric bill of over $600.00 I knew it was there but how was I going to pay it, plus rent, plus a deposit I was overwhelmed but I turned to GOD. On June 15, 2005 I was opening the door to a cute but small apartment that me and my kids were going to live in. On June 16 I was turning on the lights and turning on the air conditioner that light bill was gone VANISHED and who paid it GOD DID!!! GOD is awesome and I know that he has done so many miracles in my life. Never once however have I paid my tithes, and GOD has shown me over the last few programs on TBN how it is necessary to pay your tithes. I dont know who to pay I dont have a home church, sometimes I get more out of watching the pastors on TBN than I do acutally going to church. I was yelling at GOD complaining away yesterday, I couldnt understand why HE was ignoring my prayers, I am running low on groceries as I do all the time, I felt so much misery tugging in my heart, so much pain, I felt lonley fustrated and just plain nasty.. I want so much out of life and being miserable is something I have felt so long, It is like happiness lands in my lap for at the most two months then misery is visiting for six months well I want to be happy ALL THE TIME. IF GOD protected me from disease and removed sickness, if HE did all HE did for me HE can make me happy, I kind of felt like I was throwing a fit I was crying away big tears from my eyes were all over my face, I opened the Bible , and it jumped out at me STOP DOUBTING, JESUS SAID STOP DOUBTING. Ok I thought I got up and put the bible down and went about my business thinking whatever I watched a movie with my son and the phone rang..i AM AT VONS WHAT DO YOU NEED that is what i heard at the other end... THANK YOU JESUS is what i said, then ran my grocery list down... GOD SUPPLIED AGAIN. GOD also showed me IF you would pay your tithes the blessings you are getting now will seem minimal to what you can have... I vow the day I get paid GOD will.. I am going to sow my seed, he gave us his only son we can at least pay our tithes. Have any of you ever watched shows on Jesus's crucification how they nailed his wrists to the cross and put a thorn bush around his head and whipped him. Before you non believers think again think this, how would you like to watch your child being beat and hurt like that. GOD should not of had to gone through that so our sin may be forgiven, Jesus didnt deserve that. I have two sons and I could never watch that happen to them but that did happen that blood was given for us so our sins may be forgiven. If you dont have GOD in your heart and this message has spoken to your heart please say this small sinners prayer. Let GOD into your heart he loves you and his blessings are so great words cannot express how beautiful it is to feel him in your heart. Just say JESUS I AM A SINNER, AND I REPENT OF MY SINS, LORD I KNOW YOUR SON JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SINS SO THAT WE MAY BE FORGIVEN I REPENT OF MY SINS AND I INVITE YOU INTO MY HEART. God can change your life he changed mine he healed me and he set me free.. I am going to sow my seed and pay my tithes how about you