there’s an old joke that most of you already know that helps contextualize this:
what’s the difference between kinky and perverted?
dunno: what’s the difference?
kinky: you use a feather; perverted: you use the whole chicken.
now obviously, “ the norm” from which something can be considered perverted will vary considerably given the speaker. for some, possessing an assortment of sex toys is not only normal but to be expected; for others, it’s extremely unusual. now that’s really a long way of saying that perverted—or any analogous term dependent upon variance from a mythical objective standard for its pejorative power—is basically a useless word, strictly speaking.
i kinda don’t see a real meaningful use for this word, though.
ultimately, what two (or however many) people choose to do behind closed doors, so long as no one is harmed, is really none of anybody else’s business…barring cases of exhibitionism, anyway. :>
so why is it necessary to have a pejorative term to describe deviation from some fictional standard the validity of which is almost certainly not known and in all likelihood, unknowable?
i previously blogged about the somewhat unusual nature of my marriage. some people might find this arrangement perverted or somehow “lesser”. to them, i say: blow me. i don’t find it necessary to observe that i think they probably have boring sex, nor would it in fact be a fair statement: for all i know, those people might very well be rather uninhibited. i’ll confess that i tend to think that’s unlikely but really, needlessly casting such aspersions is neither fair nor productive.
come to think of it: it’s rather a lot like dismissing something as “perverted”, really. :>
anyone who’s ever had sex with more than just one partner knows that not everyone finds the same things appealing or even sexy. i know at least one guy that detests receiving oral sex. he has his reasons, i understand ‘em and they’re ultimately his own—i won’t presume to judge him on that basis (or indeed, any other). by contrast i know another guy who never receives oral sex and misses the hell out of it. i try not to think about his situation much, mainly b/c i can’t help thinking of that perfect quotation from good morning, vietnam:
adrian cronauer quoth
you are in greater need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
i suppose the point of all of this is simple: can we just be rid of this useless word, “perverted”? it really doesn’t add anything meaningful or useful when it’s used. i know, i suppose it’s futile to ask: the ability to be judgmental remains a cherished gift that most people enjoy exercising rather a lot.
but it’s worth asking the question, at least. certainly, i think so, anyway.
so does the word “perverted” do anything useful? is it really just a meaningless space-filler full of judgment and prejudice, signifying nothing, or is there some utility in having such a word? comment and tell me.
ed
