alright, i figure its about that time to update on the shit storm that rained upon me for a couple days.

so, if you read earlier posts you would have seen that there was the whole break up thing (my best friend got dumped and 3 days later i got dumped, my ex and her ex were also best friends) and then there was the whole 3 seconds of sex between me and the best friend's ex/ex's best friend (which was really fucked up) then there was the whole attempt at a threesome which i dont think i wrote about (my best friend could see something was going on and tried to seduce both of us in what was probably an attempt at keeping both of us in her life, no sex but foreplay) and then there was the drama when i talked to her about the 3-second-sex (then she got over it generally). then we come to the point where she and i started fighting because we were seeing too much of each other, and i threw out the thought that i was going to get a place by myself, which made us fight more and led to our break-up.

and that's all what led to the shit-storm that happened a couple days ago: she told another friend what happened between me and her ex and the friend told me he knew. so, this guys bitchin at me for being a horrible person even though hes not involved in the real situation, im freaking out and message the bff's ex/ex's bff thinking we could just tell my ex and get this done and over with. nope, he calls my best friend and screams at her for telling a friend (what a  fucking dick?! am i right?) she tells the newly involved friend, he tells me, i get pissed. so now everyone's pissed at me, and this is where my blogging on the situation stopped until now

so to bring you up to speed, i'm like fuck it, this is going on way too long. message my ex, and he calls me after he gets out of work. i talk to him about the 3 seconds of sex, hes like "im high. and emotionally numb" so he ends up calling my best friend and they go talk about it and she fills me in, seems like he gonna get over it in a few days and we'll just move on. next day, the fucking dickhead (bff's ex/ex's bff) tells my ex about the threesome thing just to make him pissed at my best friend, and in return my ex tells the dickhead that [a person i used to be friends with] told him that me and my best friend had sex while her and dickhead were together. ok, so my ex decides he doesnt want to socialize with any of us anymore. hes completely done (so i hope dickhead is fucking happy now) and on top of that dickhead asks my best friend if she had sex with me and she denies it saying maybe i said something to [the person i used to be friends with] out of anger.

soooo, now i have no clue dude. my ex is pissed at everyone, my best friend and i have to pretend like we're not hanging out, i fucking hate that dickhead (my best friends ex), and [the person i used to be friends with] just had to throw a fucking tree on the goddamn fire.

WHAT THE FUCK

anyway, i saw my best friend yesterday and we figure, fuck it. the whole thing has become more of a joke to her because its all too much and whatever, and to me i think its just fucking stupid.

the whole thing hurts, but im getting number and number by the second. i just want my ex to get over it, i dont care if i lost everyone but him. i dont think much is going on between me and my best friend but we're saying i love you again already and whatever. fuck it dude, i cant deal with this shit. i almost relapsed again when everything went down, messaged my old buddy and asked him for some shit, but he never came through. and this has been the only attempt i tried harder and messaged the chick who did it too, but i stopped myself when she answered. well thats good i guess.

idk, at this point im just so done feeling. but i dont want to throw 9 months down the drain.