it's still 8th nov... a couple of hours later
the agents are gone, and little sharon too... the library will close soon, but they are letting me use the computer a second time because I found a Bach CD and asked if they knew if I could listen to the CD and go on the internet at the same time. They knew. Jesus christ, all the hours i've spent in libraries on computers since my life was destroyed on march 11, when I could have been listening to music of my own choosing instead of the idiotic chatter of agents and other insipids...
thanks to the FBI's refusal to give me a place INDOORS to live since I rejected the streets of Greenfield on aug 20th, I have heard NO music of my own choosing since that day. and here now are 3 of the Brandenburg concertos being played on period instruments by boston baroque, and the tears come again. this is ME. this is one of the things I listened to when i belonged to MYSELF, and to my animals. This is one of the things i did when i was still HUMAN. I also did it when i was no longer human, but a chunk of fucking bleeding meat for the mafia and the FBI to salivate over. but since I left the rented bedroom on chapman st in Greenfield, i have heard no music of my own choice. two and a half months without my own music. yet another abuse, yet another destruction of the soul and privacy and dignity and personal choice. the sounds of this Bach fill me with joy, with memories of my animals and listening to Bach. and they at the same time fill me with indescribable pain for all the "long-gone light." I HATE YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO BETRAYED ME BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF THE FBI, AND EVERY FUCKING LAW ENFORCEMENT PERSON BREATHING IN THIS COUNTRY.
if the FBI fascists could arrange a rented bedroom in a house manned by agents in greenfield, why then couldn't they arrange me an efficeincy apartment in Turners in a building full of their ghoulish agents. christ knows there are plenty of agent-filled buildings in this town. why couldn't i have been sleeping in one of THOSE all this time?
I WISH YOU ALL DANTE'S NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL, THE CIRCLE FOR TRAITORS. I WISH THIS WITH EVERY MOLECULE I'M MADE OF.
