• pusscat said on Nov 05, 2008....

  Hey subpet - we all look on the shelf at other sweets when we are already eating our favourite candy, especially if the candy has fancy wrapping ;-)  Human nature sweetie LOL!
  
  The way you feel insecure is very much like how I have felt my whole life.  Any relationship I can think of really.  I was even like it in the beginning with my Sir (check out my post 'Why a submissive should not assume' and you'll see how bratty it made me.  I hated being like that but couldn't seem to stop it.  I tell you what my Sir had me do (apart from the 500 word essay as a punishment).
  
  I had to begin a mood diary.  Not a journal as I was doing before, a mood diary.  When I woke in the morning I would write down on the hour every hour how I was feeling. . . positive, anxious, upset, happy etc and I'd make a little not next to it why i.e. had lovely e-mail from Sir, didn't get any txt from Sir, concerned about how busy I am at work etc.  When I was physically writing down my emotions at any given time, it made me 'check' myself a little.  If I was in a mood because I didn't get a txt from Sir, reading it in black and white made me take a step back and think about it.  There were so many reasons why he may not be able to txt me.  If he was angry in any way he would most definitely tell me.  It just stopped me from behaving irrationally a little bit more.  I hope that kinda makes sense.  It won't necessarily stop you thinking negative but it makes you examine why a little more.  Come up with more rational answers for things.
  
  Take care
  

• T's_Pet said on Nov 06, 2008....

  Hi Subpet:
   
  You are right - you are hurting yourself and your relationship with him.  I wish I could give you great advice on how to stop but you really have to kind of just make yourself.  I used to be like this - if you go back and read some of my previous posts - I think my insecurities were clear.  But time and just the way T is with me has helped alot.  I feel secure b/c we have been together a long time.  He tells me I am his only pet and i believe that.  He may have others that he talks to and OMG I'm sure he looks at porn - sends me HOT sites too (sorry but I just read a post by, I think starchini who was very upset about porn).  Not loving that he talks/chats with others - in his defense, I do not think guys think of online chats as "sex" or "cheating".  Ok, i'm making him sound like he does those things - i don't really think so ANYMORE - i think we keep pretty busy ourselves.  If he is, if he really needs more than what we have . . . well, then I guess he can have it. 
   
  It's easier for me b/c we are not in each other's lives in everyway - we cannot be.  So, I just know that night and weekend times are down for us.  I don't expect him to log on then and if once in a blue moon he does, i am thrilled.  I know there are times when he is busy, preoccupied and cannot see me or even IM much - this is like an afternoon or something - I'm not talking days.  I have a busy job, life myself full of friends and other action so I don't get nuts about it.  I guess my point is that I used to - used to think he was with someone else, he didn't care, etc.  I'm stronger now and that helps.  Now, if only I could tell you how . . . hmmmm.  If I think of anything brilliant, you'll be the first to know.
   
  Good luck.  I always think identifying a problem is the first step . . . and talking to our doms, telling them how we feel seems crucial.
   
  T's_Pet

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