I've effectively fallen for Summer Love Boy, L.  I don't know that he feels the same, I don't even know that we'll ever see each other again.  2000 miles makes quite a difference when it comes to keeping a relationship together, especially a relationship that never officially passed the boundaries of "best friends who occasionally have sex," which sounds a lot more intimate than "fuckbuddies."

So, do I wait and see what happens with him, knowing that it could take a very, very long time?  Or do I put myself out there on a free internet dating website just to see what's out there, with the hope of finding something awesome?  Familiarity with a chance vs. the Great Unknown.  Do I wait for something that I know may never happen, especially if I told him that I would wait for him?  He told me not to wait for him, which makes me think that he really doesn't want me, despite previous conversations of a good chance of a long term relationship, including one conversation where marriage was very briefly but explicitly mentioned.  He *is* the one that I want... do I wait and hope for the best, or assume the worst and move on while keeping the friendship alive?

Why the hell are relationships so goddamn difficult?