One morning when I still went into an office every day, my officemate, Larry was talking about his weekend.
He and his family had been to the mall and he was telling me about the teenagers hanging out and making out at the food court.
"You had to see them! They weren't just kissing, they were lip-locked. They were all over each other! My kids were staring at them and pointing. I was trying to shush them. But do you think they even looked up? Do you think they were embarrassed that my family was watching their intimacies? Nooooooooooooo".
I replied half-jokingly,
"Ewwwwwwww. Kissing?"
To which he frankly admitted,
"I never kiss anymore".
and I had to add honestly,
"Me either."
It was a very sad statement about both of our then 10+ yr marriages.
Somewhere in my own marriage, we had de-volved to 'pecks'.
In bed, my husband, not being interested in any, errr, preliminaries, banished kissing soon after the honeymoon.
But it's something you miss.
Whether you admit that to yourself or not.
Kissing is a very intimate thing between lovers.
It's a real way to communicate without words.
Remember what Julia Roberts said in "Pretty Woman"?
As a prostitute she would do 'everything - except kiss; kissing is too personal'.
And an interesting note: It's something I've noticed ALL of my lovers have also missed;
Something they all have in common.
It's such a wonderful feeling to 'neck' for an hour without having sex.
It's even more wonderful when your man wants this as much as you do.
So tell me truthfully: Is kissing alive in your relationship?
secretlife posted on Aug 20, 2006
| views: 838
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Aug 20, 2006....
o hell yeah! :>
ed
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JadeLondon said on Aug 20, 2006....
We still kiss. Although sometimes I have to remind him to give me something more than a mere peck.
I didn't have to ask today. It was one of those nice, blissful moments where we were thinking the same thing...
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silverwhisper said on Aug 20, 2006....
mm...those are always wonderful, aren't they? :>
ed
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Alyss said on Aug 21, 2006....
Kissing became extinct many, many years ago. Pecks are virtually extinct too.
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Zayda said on Aug 21, 2006....
i firmly believe that people don't pay enough attention to the kiss.
is kissing still alive in my relationship. hell yes!
there is nothing better than that moment when he walks in the door from work (or I do--depending on who gets home first) and he slides his arms around my waist, looks in my eyes for just a minute, and kisses me. i mean really kisses me. and after a few moments, i just let my head rest on his shoulder and breathe in the nearness of him.
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 21, 2006....
At 60, and Asian, the wives think that kissing is taboo :-( .
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Dazlak said on Aug 21, 2006....
What what what????
No kissing? How can anybody survive that? Making out is great... it is senxual.. the taste and everything...
silly folks.. no kissing... I just cant belive it...
Remember making out in the sofa and the movie just went by with you noticing...
I lived with a woman for 3 years and even though our relatinship stalled and died, kissing was important thing of our lives..
No kissing will not drop out of my relationship.
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quidnunc said on Aug 21, 2006....
kissing...can't do without it...can't live without it...and yes, my wife and I still kiss...
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secretlife said on Aug 21, 2006....
Zayda - I agree that kissing is something that people don't
pay enough attention to. It seems that if you don't tend the little things, the big ones go to seed as well...
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silverwhisper said on Aug 21, 2006....
SL: you're a smart lady. :>
ed
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 21, 2006....
I agree, that's why i practise kissing with my girlfriends instead. . :.
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allaroundgirl said on Aug 21, 2006....
I enjoy kissing very much!! So yeah, I make sure it stays alive in my relationship; but then again my relationship is only 3 years old
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the_infernal_optimist said on Aug 21, 2006....
Entering the sixth year with the same man (just over one year married) - kissing is alive and well in our relationship!
You can say so much in a kiss that you can't fit properly into words...it's a priceless form of communication, not to mention sexy as hell and an awesome way to show someone just how much you care about them.
If it's dead or dying in your relationship, revive it, I say! :)
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whisper said on Aug 21, 2006....
very much alive. though my lips dont chap now. i think thats an important part of the whole love making process.
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Jenna said on Aug 21, 2006....
The kiss...you can tell so much from a kiss. You can say so much with a kiss. In my current relationship, ( still at the beginning stages) kissing is beautiful. Sometimes slow, deliberate, sensual, breathtaking...sometimes hard and fast and have I said breathtaking? :) I love the power of expression that lies in the kiss.
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InterplanetJanet said on Aug 21, 2006....
It's one of my favorite pasttimes! I can sit on the couch and make out with my woman for hours... She told me I kiss "dirty," but she does too, which is why we are soulmates.
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JadeLondon said on Aug 21, 2006....
Silverwhisper: Yep, it is a delicious feeling.
Susmaryosep: Aww! That is a pity! Mwah!
(Jade kisses Sus on the cheek.)
There, feel better?
Girlfriends! You crack me up, Sus! That is what I meant by 'horn dog'. Yes, for a guy, anyway (damned double standards!) that is a good thing.
Secret: You reference to chapped lips reminds me of the five o'clock shadow burn my husband gives me when we kiss for an extended period of time. I love that bee-stung feel of my lips afterwards...It serves as a pleasant reminder.
Great post, SecretLife!
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secretlife said on Aug 21, 2006....
Sus: Jade's right you ole horndog!
Jenna is.....breathless!
Jade: Thanks!
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yeahbutnobut said on Aug 21, 2006....
I have been party to some 15 min liplock sessions. Ooooh, exquisite. Beyond description. And I don't mean foreplay only liplocks. Just "relish the kiss" deals. Yummm.
But the record kiss experience was one that went for the duration of the entire Fleetwood Mac Greatest Hits album and then a bit longer. It kicked off because I had the thing on shuttle mode and it played "Hold Me" first. We obeyed. :)
Tried a couple times to re-do this experience, but it does not work when you try to re-do, it has to come up from somewhere and just happen. Then it's intense and not mechanical. It's right up there with a mystical experience, I suspect.
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Jenna said on Aug 21, 2006....
ybnb....mystical...what a great word to descibe it...Ahhhhh
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satyr said on Aug 21, 2006....
Alas, kissing is dead here as well. I sure miss it. I loved making out as a teenager and as a newlywed. I am curious as to whether there is a correlation between kissing and a good, strong relationship.
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lifeas_I_knowit said on Aug 21, 2006....
Heeelllll, yah!!!
That is just one exercise in loving and love making that I will never give up.
Susmaryosep: Sorry to hear about the practice among the 60 year old ladies back home. I've never heard this among my folks and I am sure that my older sibling continue to enjoy this wonderful practice with his wife.
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LoriaAmnekia said on Aug 21, 2006....
Ah, I guess kissing is dead in my marriage. We've been together for almost 4 years and married for just over one. I've had to argue with him to get pecks goodbye and goodnight. The only time he ever really kisses me is during our short journey through the land of foreplay. I do miss our kissing. Very much. There are many nights when I would love to put in a movie and curl up on the couch with my husband and just kiss through the whole movie. But, I'm lucky if I get the movie!
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Frlncwrtr said on Aug 21, 2006....
SL:
Please re-read the comments of Zayda, the infernal optimist, whisper, Jenna, InterplanetJanet, and lifeas I knowit. I must agree with them!
My fiancée and I kiss often, sometimes for hours. Sometimes, it is followed by love making, sometimes not. But, whenever we make love, kissing is always a part of it. We firmly believe that our kissing keeps us whole, and solid!
For all those, who don’t, I think, as the infernal optimists said, revive it!
Good topic, I may have to consider writing about things like this!
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sigroid75 said on Aug 21, 2006....
sus, i didn't know kissing was taboo in our culture.
in country, even 80-year-olds kiss on TV!
i think indeed that kissing is very intimate. would you
believe, a kiss on my hair and forehead feels so good
to me already...:-)
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GMNIMan said on Aug 21, 2006....
Don't seem to be doing it as much as I use to. Nowadays it is more hugs than kisses.
Sus, surely there is no taboo here, not that I know of anyway.
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 21, 2006....
Kissing is dead in my marriage. It's by my choice though. My husband drewls on me and that is a turn off for me.
It got so bad that I had to start asking him to swallow. Now it's just pecks. The passion is gone anyway.
CW
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lottastyle said on Aug 21, 2006....
Well I'm a newlywed so yes we still kiss alot, but when were in highschool our families used to say we had magnets in our lips!
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leon3625 said on Aug 21, 2006....
dude, is kissing really that powerful, comunicating without words
guess i'll try out but i'm just 15, is it too early???
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 21, 2006....
Sigroid... I am actually a ver good kisser, but my asawa is very very conservative. So I have to 'outsource' my kissing skills :-)
CW... drools on you while kissing? No wonder you get turned off! I would too, but the ladies I know are very compatible, so far..... Once I almost chipped a tooth when we 'clashed'.. Well unforgettable that was... see my poems! :-)))))
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 21, 2006....
Leon3625,
Studies are more important at your age.. lots of time for kissing later
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secretlife said on Aug 21, 2006....
Sus: outsource? LOL!
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
Yup, "outsource"*. We have to be in tune with the buzzwords of business! I am sure you know what I mean.. :-)))))))))
* Outsource is short for BPO, business process outsourcing. To me Kissing is serious 'business process', and kissing all the sweet ladies that are 'willing clients' is outsorcing. I can't explain it any better, if you still don't understand...
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
Sus- As an IT professional for the past 21 years, I am very aware of what outsourcing is
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sigroid75 said on Aug 22, 2006....
outsource...hahahahaha
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silverwhisper said on Aug 22, 2006....
SL: wait, you're smart, insightful, an IT geek and a talented writer of erotica?
[blinks]
i don't think your husband understands precisely how lucky he is.
ed
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
SL, .... I have a fetish ofr IT people. I am one, myself :-)
SW, ... Her husband probably is drunk every night. :-)
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
IT for the past 21 years? my, just at the peak of her passion! Like me!
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silverwhisper said on Aug 22, 2006....
now now: i refuse to cast aspersions on someone about whom i know literally nothing, apart from his great taste in women. :>
ed
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
SW,
GReat taste? In Filipino, thatwould mean... "Ang sarap sarap mo" ! :-)
Seriously, women below 25, you feel like you are just the mentors, very tiresome...... Women of 38?* Woweeeeee !`
*And above
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secretlife said on Aug 22, 2006....
sw: you've managed to make even me, blush
sus: my husband isn't a drinker; he's just a regular guy
Thanks to everyone for their honest input on this topic
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satyr said on Aug 22, 2006....
(grins) not only does secretlife's hubby have great taste in women, I'll bet secretlife tastes good too :-D
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
Satyr! You have posted what I wanted to post! Now what do I do? hahahahahahahah
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 22, 2006....
I am envious of all of you great kissers out there!
CW
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
You can try to 'capture' one of us..... :-)
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 22, 2006....
Susmaryosep,
Don't tempt a lonely woman like that. :-)
CW
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 22, 2006....
I am lonely tool I am lonely too ... :-))
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CreativeWoman said on Aug 23, 2006....
Susmaryosep,
You're too much! :-)
CW
P.S. I don't know why my previous comment posted three times. Sorry folks.
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 23, 2006....
CW,
posted 3 times? I think you like me! :-O
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sigroid75 said on Aug 23, 2006....
hahahahaha sus is funny!!!:-)
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 23, 2006....
Thank you Sigrd, and that's a nice compliment. I think I like you too... Wheeeeeeeh !
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Alyss said on Aug 24, 2006....
CW; drooling on you is bad form! I wonder if you are also familiar with the slimey, limp kiss? It's like kissing a dead toad. Yeuck!
I also remember the 'Pretty Woman' quote and have wondered if that's why kissing dies.
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hatethegame said on Aug 25, 2006....
kissing is the most emotional contact you could have with someone. i wouldn't want to be intimate without it.
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Susmaryosep said on Aug 26, 2006....
Hatethegame,
You shoud try ear nibbling too..... :-)))))))))))))))))))0000
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dyingman said on Sep 15, 2007....
Married 10+ years.
Yah. Still kiss. NOT pecks.
Sorry.
Not sure what we do different.
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secretlife said on Sep 15, 2007....
don't be sorry!
gosh, consider yourself lucky!
and ENJOY!