I have been involved in some pretty mind bending things lately. I'm not really ready to talk about a lot of it yet. I don't feel like I'm in a safe space yet. When I get to that point I will blog in more detail about it.
During all of this stuff one of the things I have missed is the ability to do simple things. Things that I think of and don't have to explain to anyone. To just enjoy. So, last saturday I did one of them. I went for a walk in the rain.
It was pretty much pouring most of the weekend. I was feeling pretty cooped up in the apartment. I had stuff I should be doing, but I wanted to do something that made me feel free. It was the middle of the afternoon so I had plenty of daylight left.
I pulled on some jeans, a hoody and tennis shoes. I tucked my cell phone in one pocket, my keys in the other, and my wallet in the hoodie pocket. It felt great to get out and walk in the rains, not being concerned about getting wet. The air smelled fresh and it was cool on my face. I walked about 1/2 mile to the local strip mall, not trying too hard to avoid the puddles that were forming. I smiled at the other puddle stomping fools I met along the way. I ducked into one store to warm up a little before heading back home.
That little bit of walk was so soothing to my mind. It felt good to be nearly chilled to the bone. I embraced the weather and giggled about getting my feet wet. I made a decision to do something illogical and it felt wonderful!
When I got home I stripped out of the wet things, put on fuzzy socks and warm sweats and had a big cup of hot strong coffee. It took awhile for the silly grin to go away, and Bill just didn't get what I found so entertaining about my crazy walk. That's okay.
