I've been waiting for some goblin invasion that's never going to happen while sitting here in this fucking rain because I'm a member of the militia. And wow since its my 6th night after my "promotion" to night guard Steven came in and vomitted and slipped on his own vomit so that made me have to cover his shift as well. But what I really want is to be head of the guard, you see, that would really be a "promotion" if you catch my drift. Damn King Alex wants to speak to me!