I am an insanely jealous person, I wasn't always like this but somehow I've always been unlucky in love men are cheating bastards and because I was always the victim of a boyfriend cheating on me mostly with their exes I developed this phobia of being cheated on and ex girlfriends and with my anger problem it never ends in a peaceful release.
One day I just developed this trust issue and this insane jealousy that was soon driving me insane and chasing away some guys that might have been good for me.
So I always wished that I would find a guy that knows what it feels like and understands jealousy, I wished for a jealous guy and damn did I make a mistake!
My now fiance is also an insanely jealous person almost worse than me and now I am trapped.
I only have male friends since I love the things guys do....motorsport, bikes, rugby, cars etc.
I get excited about the things they do and girls normally don't, I'll chew off my own wrists if I had to sit through a conversation about hair, nails, make-up and other beauty crap or whatever it is girls talk about.
But now I am confined to a world of that - GIRL TALK AND SHOPPING!!!! because I'm not allowed to visit my male friends. I want to die a silent death when my fiance says we are going out because I have to now sit with the girls.
I am the last person on Gods green earth to cheat or to flirt with any guy I never have I DON'T FLIRT it's lame. Men are the hunters and if there is any flirting to be done it should be them.
My fiance's exes keep bugging me and phoning me and try to drive me insane.
But everytime we have a fight he brings up my past and how many guys I've dated, YES I'VE DATED I HAVE NEVER CHEATED!!!! EVER!!!!
But he cheated on his ex with three others and he says its different HOW DIFFERENT?
(I dont wanna say this) but I've slept with 4 guys Ive dated and he slept with 10 girls before me only three of them were girlfriends, now I've had sex with them a few times each when we dated but he slept with each one once or twice and more with his exes obviously but now in a fight he'll say that I was a slut because I had more sex in total than him. BUT HE HAD ONE NIGHT STANDS AND SLEPT WITH RANDOM GIRLS ISN'T THAT WORSE!???? I don't understand this I never even bring the past up in a fight but he grabs onto that every single time.
Im so tired, so so tired of this!
Be careful what you wish for BE VERY FUCKING CAREFUL! I love my fiance to bits but this is getting on my nerves and will kill me before I reach my 26th birhday.
Any suggestions pleeeeeeaaaaase!
mischavalentine posted on Nov 03, 2008
| views: 152
Comments
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Scrubboy said on Nov 03, 2008....
Don't get married!!!
You, and he, are insecure which is why you both are jealous.
If he has cheated in the past there is a strong possibility he will do it again. You cannot change who you are. If you do change to be a "girl" you will be unhappy.
Seek out individual therapy with a female therapist. Then figure out what you want out of life and go for it. (trust me on this one kid)
This guy now is not your man!!!! You already know this!!!
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mischavalentine said on Nov 04, 2008....
When I hear (or read) this I get nauseous I know that maybe we should both get therapy I am scared.
When I try to explain how I feel and why I sometimes feel it's not working he starts crying and begging me not to go doesn't that say something.
I really do love him and he does everything for me, Everything!
His whole life revolves around me except for the part where jealousy takes over, there he lacks a bit of eyesight as to see what I really want. Last night we had the same talk and he says that he hates doing what I love doing because he wants to be different and its weird for him to have a girl that has the same interests now we have been together forever and this is the first time he told me that. BUT WHY?
He says he always had the girly girls who threw a tantrum every time he watches rugby and when he goes to see the superbikes at the track or the air force's air shows. BUT ME - I LIVED THERE BEFORE I MET HIM. RACED AND FLEW THINGS MYSELF. This is just weird I need a drink, lots of them.
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