'Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your girlfriend!'
That screechy foghorn voice blares through the radio for the millionth freakin' time that day. 'Aaah! My ears my ears!' I change the station before my head explodes. Seriously Lavigne, are you that unpopular with the male species that you have to practically ORDER them to ask you out?! Avril has gotta be one of the most overrated singers I know. Well, after Miley I'm- still-in-middle-school-but-I-set-myself-up-as -a-rockstar-because-my-sad-country-singer-dad-writes-my-lyrics-for-me bloody Cyrus. But the less said about that pre-pubescent sham of a kiddo, the better. Anyway, it's past me how the trash Avril churns out end up on top of the charts! Ok, let me try and guess. Her voice is really jarring, but the lyrics are catchy and the stuff teens just like to jump around to. Though if you catch me jumping around to Girlfriend, it's probably only me throwing a tantrum.
  Avril doesn't seem to know that the message can indeed be got across even if the line is said only once. No, all her songs have to be shamanic chants, repeat the line, over, and over and over and then maybe the dunderheads will understand my lyrics even though I can't.
I can do better! I can do better! She shrieks again and again like a bloody spoiled brat. Well, duh why don't you prove it instead of churning out another identical whiny song??
Her devoted fans go 'I can always connect with her songs!'
Yeah, hell yeah, 'cause her songs sound like some drunken b!tch who's been recently dumped, somehow got hold of a discarded mike, and is yelling her lungs out into it to
vent her frustration. Yes, in that case you can 'connect' with her songs.
Without her stupid punk clothes and her one hundred odd backup singers, Lavigne is just a poser. Why do I always see her face plastered across mags and grinning shamelessly at award events? Where're Amy Lee and all the other grreat singers gone?
Now Amy Lee, that's one woman I admire. Apart from having an amazing vocal range (it really is) she's a real gutsy chick, who manages to stay adorably 'normal'. What's more, she wears clothes, not scraps. I'm an Evanescence fan for life.
But seriously, is real talent even appreciated anymore, or is it the whole 'package' ? I don't care about the wrapping paper Lavigne comes in; I'll always recognize that shouty infuriating voice of hers anywhere, and that's what matters.
I must confess, though, in the remotest, most secret folder of my comp, I've got a few Lavigne songs hidden away. Don't shout 'bloody hypocrite!'
Those are for the few times when I'm high, and thoroughly against the male species. Then Avril does add fuel to my fire! But those times never last long, so don't worry.
Anyway, Avril isn't sophisticated at all; her lyrics tell you all that. The worst being
He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
Hm, now let me think....I think it's best to just leave that one unanswered, don't you, Avril?