• Lucytorial said on Nov 01, 2008....

  Hey Nick, buddy keep busy and stop berating yourself for the natural process of leaving someone.  It hurts, it sucks and it takes time especially if you were on the receiving end of something you had no control over.
   
  btw ~ when do you go back to your navy work? I thought thats what you did?

• SlickNick said on Nov 01, 2008....

  I've been in the Navy Deferred Enrollment Program for awhile now but that is just a program that gets you ready for bootcamp. You don't get paid for it but it is good training. Since I have to wait to get into bootcamp I figured it would be a good idea instead of standing around doing nothing proactive. Plus I want to show my recruiters and shipmates that I am serious about my responsibilities in the Navy. Right now I am doing network and PC troubleshooting for city and county government for work and I am trying to get IT in the Navy so I can expand on what I already know.
  

• Lucytorial said on Nov 01, 2008....

  So you are a nerd like Trav huh? LOL I like intelligence just kidding.  Well there are certainly opportunities in the armed forces for your skills, I hope you get IT, it'd be pretty exciting to be honest.
   
  Hey, can I offer you a glass half full? instead of half empty?

• diabolicdame said on Nov 01, 2008....

  Hey.. I don't know what I can say to make any of this better.. but I find that just when it seems like you have bottomed out, something new is bound to come along. Hang in there.. it will get better..

• SlickNick said on Nov 01, 2008....

  I never considered myself a nerd because I am so multifaceted. You really can't put your finger on me. I think that is a quality that some people steer away from because they think people are either vanilla or chocolate and no in between. My life has been a patchwork quilt of experiences. All very different from one another. Almost like different lives rolled into one. Sometimes I wonder if I have split personalities or something. I do tend to be silly one minute and very sad and serious the next. I think I tend to use my humor to mask my pain. If I make someone laugh than it makes me feel a bit better. I laugh a lot. I think I have to just to get by. You see during the course of my day sometimes I see something that reminds me of Molly and it grips me and I just stand still like a deer in the headlights and an uncomfortable tingling feeling comes over me. And for a minute it's like I'm not in my body but in the moment of the memory. And than a sea of sadness comes washing over me and I feel very sick to my stomach. Because it reminds me of just how empty my life has become. diabolicdame, there is nothing left to do but hang in there. All I do is hang in there. And such is life I guess. Aren't we all hanging in there. I do hope it gets better because sometimes it feels like it can't get much worse. I am very thankful for the people who have commented on my blogs. I can't tell you all how much it means to me and how much it helps me to come on here after a day where I think no one gives a shit and see that there are good people left in the world. A big thanks to you. *hugs 

• Lucytorial said on Nov 01, 2008....

  hugs back at ya honey! now as for multiple personalities! don't we all have those...

• diabolicdame said on Nov 02, 2008....

  ((((hugs)))) to you as well.. and yes we're all just hanging in there.. waiting for something or the other.. but the fact you've hit a low means that coming up next will be a high..     :-)

• pusscat said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Hello there Nick.  I think my friends here are drawn to you and want to comment Nick because we see and LIKE those qualities that you have.  We are not unique in our thinking either.  There are plenty of people who would not be able to find you anything other than interesting, intriguing and I can see how intelligent you are too!
  
  I wish I could do or say something that would help you.  There is nothing wrong with the way you feel though.  I don't anyone personally that wouldn't feel the way you do after such a hurtful thing happened.  Breach of trust by one you love I believe is one the hardest things to ever overcome in this life.
  
  It all sounds so cliche when people say, "there's someone out there for everyone" but, I discovered it was true when I was 41!  Out of the blue when I wasn't even looking.  He found me :)  I was a pile of nerves, anxiety, sadness and hopelessness but he has shown me that it can happen when you least expect it.  He loves me for all my insecurities and faults too not just the good stuff.  He knows that the toher qualities I have make me the whole person I am today.  Your bad experiences Nick will make the person you will come to like.  You will learn from those experiences trust me.
  
  i think when you are in bootcamp and, when you conitnue on into the forces full time and permanent, you will be so much  more focussed on the future and not the past.  You'll never forget the past as they are our lessons.
  
  I'll keep reading ya honey and I'll be here whenever you want to vent or rant about anything and everything.  I think you are a special kind of guy and your 'One' will come along and see that one day - one day when you are not looking :-)
  

• winterslight said on Nov 02, 2008....

  cheer up! its ok. but  big problem is your looking for her in other women.
  you wont ever find what you had with her! it wont ever be the same.... but your life isnt her. its you.  you did it before her and can do it  after her, stop giveing her all your power. she dont have that right to get that any more.
   
  she isnt worth your pain. she dont give you anything on her end you should do the same,
  you need to get rid of anything of hers you have and stick it in a box and burry it or burn it. walk away from her. she messed up and is out liveing her life, and your sitting there punishing your self. for what? get up wash your face. call a friend who is a girl and you have her and her gril friends set you up on hell of a devorice party. a comeing out saying hello world i am single and free.
  and if you want to send your ex a dig. send her a intive. that would be a good time to trash the stuff that binds you to her,  not sure what she left you with. but play smash the ex. take any brakeables.  take  a pic of her blow it up and play pin the  horns on the ex. and  make a wall of her pic. some markers and let people make art work out of her..... sounds mean but you need to move on and let go.... and nothing ur doing is  leting you so try this you may have fun and let  go as things are being broken and put in the trash and a few laughs.
  enjoy hun!

• SlickNick said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Haha! Nice idea winters! What would I do without all of you? You all really know how to cheer a guy up. Thanks!

• winterslight said on Nov 02, 2008....

  welcome hun! drop kick that past right out with a party.

• NaughtyMommy said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Hi Nick,
   
  I wanted to let you know that I have been in a similar situation. What helped me was being able to 'own' my feelings. I took the time to accept how I felt... I was angry, hurt, wronged, sad, relieved, and maybe even scared of starting the process over again? Once I knew all of my feelings, I allowed myself to feel each and every one before moving on.
   
  A good idea, though maybe a little painful at first, is to plan something different for next Halloween. Invite a bunch of people over, have a black and red wedding cake, fun themed food, booze, and the ever popular jello-shots. Make a new and fun tradition to replace some of the memories. Maybe a barrel fire or fire-pit to sacrafice some items that bring up bad memories, music, a movie, a certain shirt, or maybe even some pictures.
   
  You have every right to be sad, but at some point you do need to move on and make some new memories. It took me 8 years to look at Father's Day differently (the day my first husband left me pregnant and alone), so you cannot expect it to go away overnight. But by talking about it, you are taking some small steps to recovery.
   
  NM

• SlickNick said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Wow Naughty, the angry, hurt, wronged, sad, relieved, and scared of starting the process over again is exactly how I've been feeling lately. I've been really reluctant to talk to new people because I don't want to get hurt again. I'm working on that though. It's so strange that I can talk about it here and I don't really even tell my real life closest friends. Anyway I'm really sorry to hear about what happened in your past Naughty. I hope karma does a number on him. That was a good idea to try and make my own traditions for Halloween. It is really tough still but blogging here has really helped me. Everyone here has been really supportive and it's nice to know that even if everyone else is too busy to hear my crying and moaning, there are people here who listen. 

• NaughtyMommy said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Nick, hon, you are right! You can write anything here and you have a good support system. And remember that not every woman is like your ex, there are many people out there who will not hurt you. And once you feel comfortable talking about it here, you can start telling your friends and family. You will get there one day, just take your time and know you have friends on SC.
   
  NM

• SlickNick said on Nov 02, 2008....

  I had a strange dream this morning. I was inside my old house where my ex-wife and I lived. Everything was arranged differently and there were pictures of her and her new boyfriend everywhere. It was so strange. It was like I was in their house snooping around. I felt like I was home though and all of this strange stuff wasn't mine. I'm guessing it was a denial dream but who knows. It left me feeling sad and upset at myself for dreaming something that almost seemed cruel to myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'm my own worst enemy. Why do I put myself through so much emotional pain for one women who could care less? Today was a decent day though. I didn't do much of anything except relax and play WoW. It was nice to not have to talk to anyone and just get lost in a video game. I didn't think about her except this morning after I had the dream. It's so hard to measure my progress with this. I just hope that I am actually making progress and not fooling myself. 

• gingersoul said on Nov 02, 2008....

  Nick.........when i got divorced i didn't dream about my ex husband for more than two  years.....i would go to bed and put my head on the pillow and a dark curtain would fall on my eyes....not a dream...nothing.....just this heavy, dark kind of sleep. I still amaze about it...my mind had that way of coping with my pain, evidently....
  During the day it was pure hell but at night my brain had mercy on me...
  
  When i had my first dream about my ex he was giving me back a small pocket full of rice and a koi fish was pulling a small boat with me and my daughter inside..
  
  Sometimes we dream our fears and life keeps dragging us back...
  
  You stil have you grief to live, Nick....but as i already told you...you will make i through and fall in love again....its just a matter of holding it together and wait.......{hugs}.

• fragglesrock said on Nov 03, 2008....

  nick - i have nothing useful to add, everyone said it all so well, just wanted you to know i had been here..............................fraggles

• winterslight said on Nov 03, 2008....

  wanted to send you a smile! :) its a new day!

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