K finally brought up his ex's blog.  Casually, in an IM.  As in "Oh, speaking of reading, did you read my ex's blog?".  I laughed.  In a weird, not so funny sort of way.

 

I said, "Yes, actually, I did.  I read a lot.  In fact, I probably read almost every post in which she mentioned you."

 

He wanted to know what I thought.  I asked him, what exactly, he had wanted me to take away from reading pages of writing about their intimate sex-play, and the brutal details of how he broke her heart and left her in a crushed state of pain.  He said " I don't know.  I wanted to share it with you." 

 

I had no real comment.  I think he wanted me to picture him having sex.  With her, or without her.  I think he wanted me to know how she described him, his body, the things that he did to her, and imagine him doing them to me.  And I had.  And I do.  And I told him this, when I called him a few minutes later. 

 

It somehow became about us.  I told him that I felt strange, as though I had this ghost to measure up to.  He said "Are you afraid that I will compare you to her?"  I said yes.  He asked "You know it's inevitable, don't you, some sort of comparison?"  I said yes.  "Do you you think you're ready for that?" he asked. 

 

He then told me that I am about 11 years younger than she is, with natural, large tits, instead of her fake large ones.  He said that although she looked great in a dress, he wants to feel my younger, natural body.

 

Then he gave me a task.  He had me order a set of Smartballs, and instructed me to wear them for a full day, and not cum until we talk that night, and he gives me permission.  They came in the mail yesterday.  I don't think it will be a challenge for me to avoid orgasm with them in, but they do feel interesting.  I'll be putting them in this morning and wearing them out to run errands, to the post office, to buy my son more pants for his school uniform, to bake cookies for their Halloween parties, and to pick the kids up from school.  I'll wear them tonight when my son's friend and his mom come over for pizza and a play date.  I'll wear them through the kids' bath and bed time, and once they're asleep, I will wait for K to text me, asking if it's a good time to talk.  I will call him, and he will instruct me.  Maybe he will have me leave them in while we play, or maybe he will have me pull them out slowly.  But either way, he will tell me what to do, and I will do it, and I will have a mind-blowing orgasm, and when I'm done, he will tell me what a good girl I was.  Maybe he will reward me by ordering me something else to play with...