Do I want to be protected? Hmm..that's a good question. I have done protection spells, so I suppose that I would like to be. Would I like to stand on my own two feet? Well, that's another good question. I can't depend on intimate relationships, so in a sense, I would like to stand on my own, yet with an aura that is saturated with protection from someone higher powered than I. I am fascinated by Lucifer. He has much intellect. I am impressed by that. Even if he is in fact the real Lucifer, he interests me greatly. He brings excellent questions to light that I never really sit back and think about in that way. I can't depend on a man to take care of me. Every time that has happened because of my mental illness, the guys were complete assholes that didn't want to understand my problem. They treated me like shit. I don't want to be treated like trash. I'm a human being. Anyway, I am adoringly intrigued by Lucifer. A being that knows how to ask something so deep is alright with me. It causes great reflection. I would like protection after I call out for it in a spell. There must be a reason that I feel threatened. I would like all of my spells to work, yet only some do. There must be a reason for that. I just don't know what it is. Oh well. I guess we are only granted what we need in higher powered eyes. That which can foresee the future knows what's best.
Comments
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anonymous said on Oct 24, 2008....
My dear you've made a basic mistake with your comprehension. I won't tell you all of what you've gotten wrong, some of this you must find for yourself or the knowledge will be useless to you.Stop thinking of magic as magic. It's not. It's science. If a man builds a wall it protects him from attack. The same goes for your protection spell. You are casting the spell, you are erecting the wall for your own defense. You are standing on your own two feet and defending yourself as well you should, in fact as you must.If a spell fails it's ask it means one of two things my dear. You did it wrong, or the spell doesn't work. It's of course up to you to figure out which.The men who treated you like shit because you were shit. You have the potential to be more, to be better than that. There are forces trying to keep you from reaching your full potential but make no mistake. You were shit and that's why you were treated as such. If you want to be treated like a human being then you must be a human being. You must stand on your own two feet.Lucifer -
mixednuts said on Oct 25, 2008....
Excuse me! The men who treated you like shit are themselves the shit...not you!
You may make wrong choices, but does not make you anything but wrong. Slow down and think things out before you decide on ANYTHING! You truely do have the power within you to change anything you put your mind to.
*TRUST...but verify
*LOVE...but yourself first
*THINK...you are smart so take the time to think things out.
*MEN...not all guys are men. If they hurt you they are garbage. Throw out the trash and put the lid on the can.
*THE DOOR...just because someone knocks at the door it doesn't mean you have to open it!
*TRUTH...the truth will set you free, so never, ever lie to yourself.
Don't be so damned hard on yourself. Be strong! A creep sees a weakness and moves in for the kill like a Wolf does its' prey. You're going to be fine. Look in the mirror and say "I AM WONDERFUL"
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satanx said on Oct 25, 2008....
Did you knock? hmmmmm.
signed:Luis Cifer
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GODwaterwalker said on Oct 25, 2008....
Lucifer?
Don't go there! Self destruction is all that will come to you!
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hellboundmercinary said on Oct 25, 2008....
Thank you mixednuts. I appreciate your support.
Lucifer, I was being nice to you, you fuck. Screw you. I thought that you were an intellect. Now I see that you are the one who should be spat on, not me. I was never shit. I was a very intelligent child with a mind of her own. That doesn't make me shit. I complimented you. Lick my ass man. I know that you want to. You want to smell that ass as I let it rip. Cheers, dear. LMFAO.
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mobil said on Oct 25, 2008....
Good luck to you, make good choices. -
anonymous said on Oct 26, 2008....
I am intellectual, and so are you my dear. However your lies don't make you stronger, you didn't get trapped in a cycle of pain pain and suffering because of your strength and inteligence. Until you take responsibility, ful responsibility for everything that has happened you will continue to be just another victim. If you want to continue as a victim then keep thinking that you were perfect, that you were good, that those men. . . what did they do? Were they somehow stronger than you? We both know that's imposible. We're they smarter than you? Unlikely. Which leavs what I told you already. You let it happen. I'm not here to be your friend, I'm here to be your guide.
Lucifer
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hellboundmercinary said on Oct 26, 2008....
Lucifer, I know what I did wrong. I have taken responsibility for my own actions. I know that I am not perfect. Still, I have a right to release my despair about what THEY did. I never said that I was perfect so do back off. If you were truly Lucifer, you'd know. I don't think that I deserved the violence. I never laid a finger on most of them. If I hit a guy first, I would expect him to hit me back in self defense. That I'm not mad about. I think that they could have been better men. I'm not going to sit back and allow you to tear down every bit of psychiatric help that I have had over the years. Why the hell should I blame myself for their actions? I blame myself for my own. Thank you. -
hellboundmercinary said on Oct 26, 2008....
What I did wrong was end up being infatuated with or loving them. I should have closed my heart off to them. I was too gentle. I was raised to be that way until I realized that it's only because I have a twat. Also I got tired of taking it from everyone. OOPS. I'm sure that their karma will kick them in the asses one day. -
hellboundmercinary said on Oct 28, 2008....
Oh and Lucifer, I'm not lying. -
anonymous said on Oct 28, 2008....
No one accused you lying. I accused you of claiming to be powerless when you are anything but. You cannot take responsibility for your own actions while still claiming that the actions that you allowed others to take around you are not in part your own fault.Simple question. If you are walking home and you see a child and you do nothing are you not partially at fault? If you walk into an area known for violence and violence is done to you is not some of the blame your own.There is nobody in this world to protect you, but you. Everybody makes mistakes. It has nothing to do with being human either, all living beings capable of rational thought an independent choice make errors in judgement.You should release youre despair over what they did, but ultimately you must realize that it is over and move forward.Karma is a funny thing by the way, it doesn't always work the way it should.Lucifer -
hellboundmercinary said on Oct 28, 2008....
Lucifer, I am doing the best that I can with my pain. Some days it's worse than others. Still I am coping with it. I am trying to let it out until I don't feel the pain from it anymore. I become less angry that way. It prevents violence in the home from occuring again. I don't want to get into physical altercations with my mother or anyone else if I can help it. I hate jail. I want to be free.
Karma doesn't always work the way it should? That's interesting. Perhaps wearing a particular oil that I called out to be charged for sending negativity back to the one sending it to me is the reason Gabby almost ended up homeless. She almost made me homeless first. She also doesn't care how nasty she is to people. She still could end up with some problems, but so could I. We'll see how it goes. All I know is she started it and I finished it. If she starts with me again she's definetely going to have problems.
Anyway, I am aware that the beatings are over. Today no mind reading stuff which is good. Still, I'm going to wait it out to see if that's over. I might write a book some day.